May 28, 2011

Greetings My Friend,

Thoughts at large:

Junior and I experienced the miracle of birth this week. Puppup our Shitzu gave birth to six puppies. Five of them lived, one died. Puppup amazed me. While she was giving birth in between babies she would crawl up in my lap or curl next to Junior. She let us hold her babies with no fussing. The first puppy or two, she let Junior pull the sack off the face, and then she started doing it herself.

I was amazed at her trust in us. I was amazed at the babies being born and the whole process. I had expected that we’d wake up and there were her babies or we’d come home from an outing and there she would be with her babies. Puppup wanted us right beside her, petting on her, encouraging her and loving her.

I love hearing the squeals they make. I love watching Puppup clean on them, feed them and protect them. She continues to let Junior and I hold them. P our friend came by to see the babies. Puppup barked at her. She doesn’t know P like we do so she was protecting her young. It was a precious sight.

The babies’ eyes are not open yet. Those babies somehow get buried in the blankets and are hard to find. We have put a blanket down that is not as big and bulky so there is less room for them to get lost in.

Junior and I have started dating again. We lost track of that with the two moves. I am amazed at the thrill of dolling myself up for my man. I am trying to wear eye make-up again. I have found with the longer hair (for me) that my bangs get in my eyes and under my nose. I get so itchy. I’ve started wearing headbands and clips. That is fun too, finding pretty things for my hair. The eye make-up may only be for special occasions since the itching and burning have come back.

I am finding that even though I’m older, I still have a desire to be “girlie”. After I had breast cancer I could not wear a bra. Bra’s irritated my skin real bad. I went a few years without wearing one. Finally last year I found a kind I could wear, the cotton fabric covers the elastic area and does not itch or leave deep welts. Each day now I find myself thanking God because I can do what women do, wear a bra.

I love eye make-up. I wore it for years. A few years ago I had to give up wearing it. I have allergies and my eyes burned and itched something awful. I learned though that Junior meant it when he said I was beautiful with or without it. My husband has been so precious. For most of my life I felt I was not going to be loved if I had weight on me, didn’t look all dolled up all the time etc. Junior always looks at me, talks to me and touches me like I’m the most beautiful thing on earth.

Mr. Junior is attracted to red haired and green eyed women. Fionna on Burn Notice is the ideal woman. She is beautiful and she plays with guns. Me, I have none of his ideal traits. Still he makes me feel so pretty and so loved.

After we married he would tell people that I saved him from red haired and green eyed women. To him they were feisty, and would fly off the handle for any reason. He feels that God opened his heart to receive me warts and all. Each day he sets out to love me and I feel it. With this kind of love, I find myself wanting to be all that I can be for him.

I remember telling Junior when I met him that I was looking for boring. I guess several women had told him he was boring. My comment was a compliment and he picked that up. For me I was done with roller coaster relationships.

I am sure many people find Junior and me to be boring. We love our life though. We don’t need drama to enjoy life. I love our quiet life. I love our trips, our being home and putzing. It is fun. It is quiet. Our fights are rare and when we have them, they are not loud and mean.

One of the first things we tried to do when we married was not to use “put down” humor. For the most part we don’t give into it. Once in a while we do, we apologize and then we work at not doing it again. Our biggest goal is to Agape love each other.

For me the prayer God gave me when Junior was in his curb side shopping phase has been a huge blessing. I asked God to open my eyes and heart to Junior. I kept saying “God what does his heart have to do with trash?” One day I watched Junior bending over load after load of clothes he got from the curb. His back was hurting so bad and he kept doing the clothes washing and folding them so tenderly at that point, I saw Junior’ heart. He was washing those clothes so he could give them to the poor. My husband has a very tender heart. Not only does he treat me so tenderly, he loves the lost, the lonely and the hurting.

Sometimes I allow other people’s thoughts to matter way too much. I often felt that people didn’t like Junior because of some of his strange ways. God is teaching me, to look at my husband and not worry what others think. Here in Virginia, our church family loves us just the way we are. Junior cuts his own hair, has huge whitewalls around his ears. The church family sees him, shakes his hand, hugs him and loves him as he is. I like that a whole bunch.

I have learned a great lesson. Love people where they are at. That’s what God has done with me, with us. It is wonderful.

May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.

Love
Janet