July 25, 2009

Greetings My Friend,

When we were in Michigan recently we visited with a friend of mine I’ve known for over 24 years now. We went to Sunday school together; later after we grew up we worked with the Senior High kids at church. I also have another friend who I went to Sunday school with and I worked in the same department with her at the bank. These two ladies have known me and loved me through the trails of life. These two ladies can tell me just about anything, and I will listen because I know they love me – warts and all. Proverbs 27 6: “Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.” Also Proverbs 27:9 “Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of one’s friend springs from his earnest counsel.”

As I have struggled with my son’s anger against me, it is in my friends I find comfort.

A mother’s first question is “Was I that bad?” They both tell me “No.” From there I try to understand his anger and with their love and wisdom, I am able to attempt to understand my son’s anger or why my daughter won’t accept me into her life. They help me face life, when life doesn’t feel so good. They also laugh with me and that feels real good too.

One of the struggles I had as I faced divorce was that I had history with my ex-husband. Our history was often painful, still it was history. My mother grew up on the same street as my ex-husband. My Grandmother had babies at the same time my Mother-in-law did. Mom had babies the same age as some of my Mother-in-law’s children. Our families had history together. Four of my Mother-in-law’s son’s married women from the neighborhood and school district we attended. We were an interconnected group in many ways. One of my sister-in-laws’s used to babysit me when I was little.

My ex-husband was one of seven living children. They had family gatherings that were fun and I felt like I belonged in many ways. My Dad’s family was in Colorado. He broke off connections with them and I never really knew my Grandparents. Mom had her mother and her brother. Grandpa died before I was born. There was Aunt Gert and Uncle Harold – Grandma’s sister and her family. Grandma’s brother and his family were around and not around. I knew him and I did not really know him or my cousins – who were way older than me.

As we were getting ready to leave my friend handed me a gift bag and in it was a card. Each time I read the card, I find myself very sentimental. I’d like to share some of the card with you.

“Janet,

As the years go by and the days seem shorter, we value what used to be inconsequential moments. All the laughter, minutes on the phone, an occasional Saturday shopping trip with your Grandma, a trip to the donut shop, spending a weekend at the cottage, an evening sharing some time together, adult time at Travel Camp and many other “moments” banded together blossomed into a beautiful lasting friendship. It is these moments that we presuppose as just part of living, are what forms us and what we are judged by. They are the bond that holds society and friendships together. I give thanks to God for these moments in my life that I have shared with you. I give thanks for the understanding that nothing is inconsequential; that moments are like thread that weaves tapestry of life.”

As I reflected on the sadness of losing the “family” time I had grown to love and that both my children don’t accept me, I find my friends words keep coming back like a soothing balm to my soul. I want to give in and allow the hurt in my soul to win. I want to curl up in bed and go to sleep never to wake up again and then I hear her words again as they come back to me. It seems like God is calling me once again. He shows me how much Junior loves me. He shows me that my sister wants me and my sister – lovingly shares her children with me. My nieces love me; I can’t you tell how much that means to me. Then I almost hear God say, “Look out the window.” I see a baby rabbit munching on the bushes outside my window. God gives me people to be in relationship with. I have my Landlord, Emma to love on. It is as if God is saying, “Janet, you are precious.” So, I get up and face the day. In the days of sadness, I have had much to live for. Again, I see God’s love and I love life once more.

May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.

Love

Janet