Jan 10, 2009

Greetings Friend,



Ephesians 4:30

And do not make God's Holy Spirit sad; for the Spirit is God's mark of ownership on you, a guarantee tha t the Day will come when God will set you free.



Greetings My Friend,



I remember the first time I read the above Scripture. I got stuck on "God's mark of ownership on you." I felt for the first time that I belonged. I have felt different for most of my life. I was an over active child. That irritated the people in my life a whole lot. I was different from my sister and brother. As I entered into high school, I noticed I was different as well. I think most teeangers feel different, I felt like I was always in two worlds - I was the "goody two shoes, " wanting to try to be bad. I was afraid to be bad.



When I met my first husband in high school, well, I was fasinated by him. He broke the rules. He smoked. He drank. He even did drugs. It was exhiliarating to watch him, to break rules I never had the nerve to break. He would cuss his mother out. He called her bad words to her face - an unheard of thing in my home. If I cussed one parent out, when they got done with me, the other one would start on me.



Our life together was always a storm. For a while it was exciting. As the children came along though, I found that I wanted to be the rule abiding parent. I wanted to be involved in their lives, to set a good example for them. I was much more comfortable in that role - a role I had as a child. I was the oldest child. I was to set the example and I was to live right. The fun of acting out became a night mare to me.



Our marriage was always a roller coaster. Anger ruled it. Eventually we were divorced. After the divorce I found myself seeking peace - an internal peace. I no longer thought I wanted to buck the system I started reading the Bible. I never thought I was able to read the Bible - I thought I wasn't bright enough. Anyway, I made my way through it and have read it through pretty much each year since then. As I read year after year, I found a quiet peace entering in my heart. One time, I read the above Scripture and for the first time, I felt like I was special, I belonged.



As a woman, I love being Junior's wife. I love belonging to him. I feel complete and whole being Junior's wife. He does not try to be a cruel man. He tries to love me for who I am. He seeks my best. The more he seeks my best, well, the more I want his best. I have finally come to believe that God loves me - something I struggled with for years. You see, I was afraid to let God love me. The men in my life have been mean, cruel and God is male and well you get my point. With Junior though, he is always watching out for me. In that I have found that God is watching out for me and that His rules are really for my good.



If you haven't met Jesus, I pray that you will. He is a wonderful comfort and a great friend.



May God Bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.



love



Janet