December 13, 2008

Proverbs 13: 24
If you don’t punish your son, you don’t love him. If you do love him, you will correct him.

Proverbs 19: 18
Discipline your children while they are young enough to learn. If you don’t, you are helping them destroy themselves.

Proverbs 22: 6
Teach a child how he should live, and he will remember it all his life.

Greetings My Friend,

We have a garage cat named Gar. He is a neutered cat that has taken up residence in our garage. Sometimes we see another cat in the garage as well. Her name is Floozy. She has given birth to two sets of babies in our garage this past year. Junior and I have had great fun watching these babies go from little tiny kittens whose eyes are closed to playful kittens in a matter of weeks.
I have marveled watching Floozy with her babies. She nurtures them, she feeds them, teaches them to find their own food and then she leaves them. One day they are left to fend for themselves and Mom is done with them.
As I raised my children, I often kept in mind that one day they would be grown up. One day they would have to fend for themselves. I have always marveled at the animal world and it’s young. They train them, and then they let them go. My main desire was that my children would be able to function as adults.
One time I heard a story about an animal being born. It needed to break out of its shell. A person was watching the animal break out of the shell and tried to help it by breaking the shell for it. When the animal came out, it died. It needed to break the shell; the breaking of the shell helped it grow strong so it would be able to survive.
When we do too much for our children– we may not be helping them, but actually hurting them. They need to learn how to be grown up and to make a life outside the home. If we cater to them, we may be hindering their ability to fend for themselves.

It is often a balancing act of giving to our children and making them accountable for their actions. They need to have consequences for what they do. If they don’t, they will grow up expecting a handout all the time. One day you will be gone and then what? It is also hard on them if you are too rough. They will be afraid to make mistakes and then they won’t be able to function either. Thomas Edison tried a thousand times - he failed until the final time when he discovered the light bulb. Sometimes we help our children when we let them fail.

In Jesus’ day, parents taught their children how to be adults. Boys often learned in a group setting – hands on setting. Girls would help their mothers around the house. When we take time to teach our children how to cook, how to iron, how to take out the trash etc, we are preparing them for being an adult. Our children’s spouse may thank you as well, because one of them won’t be doing all the “work” around the house either.
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It is easier to do things yourself. It gets done the way you like it. It looks the way you like it. Letting your child learn to do it, letting your child help really is preparing them for handling life on their own.

May I suggest that you let your child make their bed, clean their room, help with dinner, let them help change the oil in the car. You are giving them more than money could buy them. I would also suggest that you read the Bible…there are so many gems to be found in there on how to raise your child, how to be a spouse, a child of God.
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.

Love

Janet.