April 12, 2018

Greetings My Friend,

Bradley and Dorothy were married for 55 years when he went home to the Lord last Friday. As I sat listening to their children tell about their Dad, I heard the love they had for him, the love they had for their parents. I have known Bradley for the nine years we have lived here in Virginia I could see the devotion to Dorothy, the love of God in his life, Dorothy's life. With my walker I did not go up to the casket at church since the side aisles would not accommodate my walker, the long line would be hard for me to stand in. We stayed for the meal afterwards though, when I walked by Dorothy after getting my food, she saw me, greeted me as a friend then we hugged. Throughout the whole day I kept meeting the comfort of Jesus in their lives in others lives. I was amazed, grateful at the same time. Ironically Bradley died of Parkinson's Disease a disease I have, another long time friend Dan was also there who has PD as well. In talking to PK Dan's wife, I found that Dan was struggling with Bradley's death, as I was. Both Bradley and Dan are/were further along in the disease process than I am, Bradley had the shakes real bad, Dan does not although he is hunching over because his spine is weakening, both Dan and Bradley shuffled. Going through the line getting my food I tripped over the walker wheels, Gary asked if he could help me, I turned him down because I knew I would be okay. Another sobering moment came to me, one day even the walker won't save me from falls. I had the privilege to sit at a table with an older gentleman who is in hospice care. He talked openly about what was happening in his body, he had a stroke, right after the stroke it was discovered he has melanoma, it is in his brain, he has a large lump on the base of his neck. The doctors wanted to do chemo, when he asked if it would shrink the tumors in his brain he was told it would not. The older gentleman whose name escapes me decided to not take chemo and let the disease take its course. As he talked openly about all of this I felt his peace. He and his wife have undertaken having a condo being built to their needs, mainly for his wife's needs since she will out live him. He wanted her taken care of, no stairs, everything on one floor, bedroom, laundry room. At this point I must say I have thought long and hard about my death. I looked back to Mom and Dad's dying, saw the difference in them. Dad died first, Dad was told right away his out look was rather bleak, although he did not grasp the fact for a few weeks. Once Dad grasped his end was near, he talked openly, honestly with us. We had a chance to make amends, a few times I told Dad that if he needed to go, we would take care of Mom. Dad said he was trying, he saw Grandpa which in my mind was Mom's dad. I felt Dad's peace which comforted me, at the end of Dad's life, I was holding him in my arms as the nurse was cleaning him. I felt peace, acceptance. Mom on the other hand asked for a pill to allow her to sleep until her end. At the end she was restless, we had a bedside service in which we told Mom what we loved about her. Afterwards my son Mike and I held her hand until her last breath. My heart wants to be like the gentleman at the funeral, like Dad's final days. It seems to me the people who walk close to Jesus tend to have an easier time letting go of this life, they have a hope where those who do not know Him struggle more to let go. As C. S Lewis once stated, he would rather believe there is a God and die to find there is no God than believe there is no God and die to find God is real. For me I believe in the power of Jesus' life, death and resurrection opening the door to a relationship with God. May God bless you and keep you, make His face shine on you. Love Janet