February 4, 2017

Greetings My Friend, Since we moved to Virginia Junior and I have become pet parents of a number of pets. At first we had a heart to rescue these fur children because if taken to the pound they more than likely be put down. Through the ensuing years our love has grown for these precious fur children. We love both cats and dogs and we have a mix of them with 3 cats and 7 dogs. Last week we noticed that Red had not come around for a few days which was unusual. Our fur children are strays that have been dropped off on our street which is how we came to know Red. Our neighbor and us have been caring for Red for several years now and we love him. He does not come in very much because our dogs tend to run him off so he stays outside of the fence and we have a dog house for him to sleep in. Junior and I had pretty much decided that Red had been taken by someone else, it is easier to think this rather than he had died. Brendy our boxer loves Red along with Biggie so the 3 made a group of playful pups staying outside most of the day and away from the other 3 dogs. Brendy mourned Red not being around and became a needy girl following us around. After church on Sunday we were greeted by Red and we were very happy to see our boy again. He was injured which brought much concern to us. His back end was cut the Vet thought maybe he got caught in a fence. Monday we took him in to see Dr. Pat to make sure he would be okay. Dr. Pat sent Red home with medication and a cone and told us to watch the wound. I did not see Red get back into the truck so I was very surprised when he came around my side after we got home. The poor thing has a shaved ring around his injury. The fur will grow back and he will be the beautiful boy he has been all along. For now he looks silly. No muscle or ligaments we torn and the wound thankfully was not that deep. Through the years our love for these fur children has grown tremendously. Daisy came into my life when I needed a reason to move again. She is all of 6 pounds so I am able to carry her around with me. As my balance kept getting worse Daisy has been the counter weight I needed to walk straight. Letting Daisy in and out has gave me the focus I needed to begin having someone to care for, to move into a steady routine of daily work again. Each child loves on me in their own special way and I find security in having them near. This morning Junior got up late so Biggie and Grey one of our kittens decided she needed to be loved on and I obliged them. Both Junior and I have PTSD, his is from the war in Vietnam and mine is from a life of abuse. When the anxiety hits us these fur babies quiet us, help us to move back into the present. They lavish us with attention which is badly needed. We do not wear each other out needing to be comforted because the fur children are always ready to accommodate our needs. Taking care of them helps us to stay in the present and to attend to their needs. I am happy that we get a little more time with Red and that he is there for his little gang of dogs. I sense that God has brought us these special babies into our life and I am grateful because I felt we were getting to old for these fur babies in our lives. In God's all knowing power He made sure we had what was best for us. May God bless you and keep you, make His face shine on you. Love Janet.

January 31, 2017

Greetings My Friend, "Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit is indeed willing, but the flesh is weak." This passage jumped at me the other morning. Jesus is talking with the disciples in the garden before He is betrayed by Judas and soldiers come to take Him away. Jesus wanted the Disciples to pray for Him and my devotional taught me a deeper reason to pray which is "Stay awake and pray that you will not enter into temptation." I learned that staying awake is associated with spiritual awareness and the Disciples sleepiness did not prepare them for Jesus' death. I discern from this that the time spent in prayer means that the Disciples may have been made aware of the events that were to take place and would not have been taken by surprise. We too can fall into temptation when we think we can pass up our day's prayer just this once. The problem is that day God may have wanted to tell us something important or how to deal with a situation we will face. Through the years I have read "Pray without ceasing," and it seemed impossible to do. As my prayer life has grown I find being in a prayer throughout the day easier than I had once thought. For me more than likely most of us we have a line of chatter working in our thoughts all day everyday. I have learned prayer is really allowing myself to change the chatter in my mind to a conversation with God. As with most of my faith journey this has taken me awhile to learn and then put into practice, it has grown in me. I do know though that I need to start my day in prayer and Bible study. When I do I find that the prayer without ceasing is much like my day with Junior. We visit with each other throughout the day, sometimes going back to a conversation we had earlier and pick up where we left off. I find my praying without ceasing to be much the same way. If I start with prayer first thing in the morning, with the Word God lays a passage on my heart, my heart seems to understand I need to use this lesson. I felt the Holy Spirit teach me it is important to stay connected to God in order to hear His voice and to know His will. The more I do this I find it easier to listen to God with my heart and then go and do what I sense He is directing me to do. I won't use up energy that is so little within me these days. I also will go directly to the area God is sending to me instead of trying several things before I know I am where He wants me to be. I am not young, I have disabilities that hinder my energy these days so a direct path is important for me. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet

January 28, 2017

Greetings My Friend, Reading in Genesis, So Jacob said to his household and to all who were with him, "Put away the foreign gods that are among you and purify yourselves and change your garments." It is easy to think we don't have gods in our lives today. The more I looked at this passage the more I thought about the gods or strongholds in my life. One of the first thoughts I came up with is my strong attachment to routines. I can almost be obsessive with them. At times I had to do each step in the exact order so that I could accomplish all the things I had to get done. Being a woman of the '70's I bought into the idea of "bringing it home and frying it up in a pan," which meant I could work, make money, be a wife, have a family, go to school and volunteer. Today I see the craziness of this pace in life. Many women around my age also are struggling with health issues due to attempting to be all things to all people. My desire today is living the life God created me to live and I find He never intended most women to live that craziness. I am enjoying the simple life these days. My days are full and rich, cleaning, cooking, sewing and being a friend. In the late '70's and early '80's being an at home mother was a lonely way of life. Not only was it lonely at home mother's were considered rather dull and not so bright. Today I see the stupidity of all of this. We as women are generally created to raise the next generation which is a very important job in of itself. Another strong hold I have struggled with is thinking that having a clean house was more important than having a lived in home. If I were comfortable with the lived in look I would have taken time to play with my children and taught them the lessons of life and the soul, which I believe is Jesus. I find that some of the gods I have in my life are not wood, stone or metal but believing my worth is in the amount of money I bring to the table in my relationship. I also found Jacob admonishing his family to purify themselves to be a strange thought. When I first think about purifying I think of being physically clean. There is an importance to cleaning our bodies, I also think it is important to purify my thoughts, get rid of anger, malice, lustful thinking and such. When I clean out my resentments by asking God to forgive me I am able to think clearly, to focus on God, to find compassion instead of resentment. My faith journey teaches me that walking with Jesus sets me apart from the world. Many times the world thinks I am weird. I used to think I needed to blend in with the world, I felt comfortable blending in. The problem is it is hard to for the world to meet Jesus. With Jesus' love I find being apart from the world more comfortable now. When I am different from the world I am able to love more fully and more like Jesus. That is how people will come to love Jesus and learn of God's true and gracious love. God will accept all people good, bad, worse than bad and any skin color, or religion or denomination. God asks one thing in order to be saved by grace, believe He is God and accept Jesus as their Savior. From that point God takes the person on an awesome journey. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet

January 26, 2017

Greetings My Friend, My hair is getting longer although there is a ways to go to reach my shoulders. I have been pulling my bangs to the back of my head with a clip and recently I decided to use a headband again. I really like the headband with my hair being longer and I may be using this to keep my bangs off of my face. I do not tolerate the hair on my face especially near my nose, it itches me so I want it pulled back all the time. Junior continues to make me feel like I am a beautiful woman, something I had not felt prior to marrying him in my 40's. I love that he likes my girly girl ways with me liking to wear bangles on my arms, earrings and necklaces. He knew that I would not be good with tools and did not push me too hard when he attempted to show me how to use them. Instead of working alongside of him, I attempt to make our home comfortable for him, making him lunch and dinner most days. I am grateful to be living this simple life that God has put me in. I received a text from a friend with cancer while I was writing so I took a time out to write her back. My friend is struggling with cancer. At first she was fighting against all of the help she was getting, sure that she was not receiving proper care. She procrastinated getting started on her chemo because she did not want to face the severity of her cancer. She has come around to seeing that she needs to go with the program. I believe her faith with Jesus has grown and she is drawing closer to Him which helps her so much. My friend is like many people, she did not want to feel the discomfort or to deal with this dreaded cancer. She has managed to avoid a lot of pain in life by blaming others and she has had to look at herself in the mirror and face the situation. I hurt for her so her more positive comments make me very happy. I also believe that all the prayers that have been lifted up for her by many in my church, by Junior and I and even others whom I do know she has opened her heart to Jesus. I see her learning to draw, to journal, sharing with her friends and talking on the phone. My friend has kept people at bay for most of her life and now she is reaching out. I found myself teaching my friend about being a woman. When she visited us I started telling her that it was her job to notice the changes we have made since her last visit. My friend has lived in her own little world for so long that she knew very little about interacting with others. More recently I have been teaching her to ask about others, not only to be so wrapped up in her own struggles. By doing this she learns that she is not all alone in the world and others understand her pain. I finally told her that with Parkinson's I have moments where my muscles get so tight that they hurt.She was surprised that I deal with pain. She thought my disease was not as bad as hers. It is different but it does not mean there is not physical and emotional pain. The other day she ended a text with "how are you doing?" She is learning and I am grateful. If God had not encouraged me to be a girly girl and to love the simple life I would never have met this woman. She lives a life completely different from the one I have lived. When Junior invited her son to help him and taught him how to work, she became my friend and I love her so much. She has allowed me to love her as Jesus has loved me. Just as when I attend a church the body that is the church includes people from all walks of life and we help others in the body of the church to be all that God is creating them to be. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet

January 24, 2016

Greetings My Friend, The Holy Spirit spoke to my heart "Feed your soul with God's Word then ask God to bless you." I had been reading Matthew 20-21 when I ran across "And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive if you have faith," Prior to my reading I wrote in my journal "Father I am grateful that my anger is gone. I know You have been my healer. I see more clearly the steps You took me through to bring about the letting go of anger, fear and even being acknowledged that I was abused. Healing I am learning is not always immediate or physical. Sometimes, many times the healing is spiritual." As I have been researching Parkinson's Disease I have learned 3 potential ways that you may get PD, it could be genetic, chemical or from a Traumatic Brain Injury. I have long wondered if all the blows to my head and neck I endured through abuse both as a child and an adult might be behind many of the things I am now dealing with and I believe abuse has led to my PD. I recall as a child that I had problems with tripping, as an adult I recall attempting to walk in a straight line only to start veering off to the right and when I got tired I often tripped over nothing. I felt that we all have these types of problems and gave little or no attention to this situation. In my research I also found myself learning that my acknowledgement of the abuse I endured to be superficial. I told people I was abused and I was always looking for someone to acknowledge that my abuse was real. Mostly I was told it was my fault and if I would quit being annoying I would not have these problems. I was told that people were concerned but I was never given support to get away so to me I knew but I was not sure. As my health struggles with my gait issues kept getting worse abuse was the 1st thought I had for my troubles and again I was not sure by the reactions I perceived from doctors. My research seemed to give me permission, the permission I have wanted to hear. In a strange way I finally felt the hug I needed. Sometimes when I kind of told my story I would see some concern in the faces and I also was pushed to "let it go" and to "move on" because I was out of the abuse then. Even my Mr. Wonderful reminded me often that there are 2 sides to every story. He was talking to me as he was taught in Divorce Recovery and I did need to hear those words but I also needed to be understood deeply. Through the years with Junior I think he has seen the affects of what was done to me, the fear I struggled to let go of. He reminded me that for 15 years he heard over and over. It was at that point I realized the only way I could let go was medication. My brain could no longer do it alone. He has also watched me deal with my physical problems and how I am struggling to walk, my hands shaking etc. Recently I have had a need to repeat what I learned in Celebrate Recovery, " I am a grateful follower of Jesus Christ and I am a survivor of abuse. Since Celebrate Recovery is about hurts, habits and hangups we each have our own thing we are surviving from, mine is abuse and co dependency. I find that God has been doing a healing in me for a long time. Part of the healing started many years ago when I was in Celebrate Recovery and that phrase has laid dormant in my heart for a long time until now. He has taken me on a journey of healing. Many times healing is a journey, because instant healing would not be lasting in our hearts. God loves us enough to help us be whole and instead of perfect one time healing we need a long journey of healing. I also am realizing that God is more interested in my heart and where it is at than giving into my every want. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet

January 21, 2017

Greetings My Friends, I have felt for sometime that taking care of those around the world while many are in need around our own country is wrong. I have a heart for caring for the lost around the world and would love to reach out but I believe we always need to start caring first at home. In Matthew 15 today I see a situation where Jesus is speaking to a woman in need, "Lord help me?" And He answered "It is not right to take the children's bread and throw it to the dogs." She said "Yes Lord, yet even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters table." I hear Jesus teaching us that the Word first was brought to the Jewish people and then He came to open the door to all peoples. I learned to provide for your own first and then give to others along with allowing myself to be fed by God before I reach out to help others. Sometimes I skip this important step and I wind up way over my head with people I am trying to help. When I was younger I had the energy to minister to young people, to go on mission trips and so much more. Today my health needs to be front and center before I reach out to help others. The work I once did is not what I am capable of today. Each time I thought I was a used up nothing God showed me that there is much work to do only not what I once knew how to do. Part of my lesson has been how important it is to step aside to allow new believers an opportunity to serve and grow in ministry. When we step aside and open the door for new believers, younger believers we open our church to grow for another generation. Recently a church that is a plant of our church is quickly getting ready to close due to the fact there were no new believers to continue the church. It is a simple thing and yet we struggle to let go, to be in the background so the older generation often chokes the life out of the church. Many older churches have also put such a huge focus on attracting younger members to the church that the older members are left out. Church is important to both the young and to the old, to able bodied and to the disabled. That is the wonderful gift of salvation, God wants all to come to Him through His Son. If we follow God's ways and listen to the Holy Spirit the right balance will be a part of His church. We learned from Jesus, then the Apostles to love all people and when they give their heart to Jesus the work of the church corporately is expanded. A growing believer leads to reaching out to others who do various jobs to all believers within Jesus' church. Some are up front speaking like Paul or Peter, some fed the widows, others took care of the money while others sewed and provided for the needs of others. As an older woman who believes that God keeps reminding me He will use me up until my last breath. It was hard to let go of the familiar ways to serve but I have been pushed to reach new goals in ministry. I am a writer, I am a friend to many on line, I have learned much about building a strong Godly marriage through workshops and such. If I insisted on being a youth adviser I would never have learned all of these other skills. I am able to reach young people I meet because I act young and get them giggling so I still am able to minister to the young. It is not the formal ministry of a youth group anymore. I am able to relate to those that have been abused, struggle with cancer, invisible illness' and of course I minister with writing as well. I think we start at home and then move out from there. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet

January 19, 2017

Greetings My Friend, I am thinking about forgiveness today, it is raining as I write and I am prolonging getting my morning started. Part of writing to me is asking God and then reflecting on a few things when something settles on my heart I often ask God if this is it and then start writing, today it is forgiving myself. Just as forgiving some of the hurts have taken me a long time, I realize forgiving myself has been a long journey as well. It seems I needed to see what was done to me in order for me to grasp why I was the way I was. Again I mention my encounter with a counselor when I started talking about the things my Dad did to me and he told me that it was not that bad. I went for awhile before moving to another counselor. The 2nd counselor acknowledged my feelings and that was my turning point to forgiving my Dad. It took me a long time with forward and backward movement eventually I came to peace with what was done to me. I went through this process with several others who have hurt me throughout my life with the more recent letting go of my children, emotionally. As I opened up many of those wounds I also found myself seeing what a mean child, adult I could be at times, especially when I was stinging from hurt. If my Dad beat the tar out of me, I went looking for my siblings to take my anger out on. As an adult and a mother I got tired of all the anger and holding onto it along with the scars I had in my emotional life. Counseling helped me and then Jesus taught me to forgive my debts (hurts, grievances etc.) as I forgive my debtors (those who have hurt me). As I prayed asking Jesus to forgive me I realized I needed to forgive what was done to me by others too and inserting my name alongside of others I found myself letting go of what was done to me. I knew that my children lived in chaos, I grew up in chaos and I did much to get away from the chaos but it was always right around the corner. I felt if I followed a specific pattern eventually I would be forgiven for my part of the chaos and it has not come. One day my friend Marilyn mentioned that I had in my mind a perceived image of who I was which was a mother, that was a growing moment for me. I discovered that I need to change who I always thought I was and discover other parts of myself. God reminded me that I did the best I could and basically it was okay. I admitted my sin and God has forgiven me it was time to let go and let God work in my life and the lives of those I wronged. I have made amends where I could, changed my behavior, my desire for destructive relationships by learning new ways to relate and not allow myself to be abused. The comment I made to my Son comes back to me often, "I can't get better before I get better" meaning my process to healing has been a long and winding journey.I also need to remember that healthy finds healthy so my children's journey is their journey. Today my focus is on Jesus, Junior, my health and I am thankful for the people who come alongside of me loving me just the way I am. I am working on quieting my impulsive nature of saying what pops into my mind, I still ask a ton of questions and for the most part people are patient with this quirk in my nature. I love where my life's journey has taken me and I am learning to be comfortable in my own skin. God loves me just the way I am and then He takes me places I never knew I could dream of. May God bless you and keep you. Love Janet

January 17, 2017

Greetings My Friend, Junior has been on the cranky side recently and I had about enough of it. I give him grace for having PTSD and anger is part of it etc. but at some point I need to say enough. My PTSD will only handle so much harsh words before I begin to push back and I finally pushed back. Prior to my push back I had been asking God to help me deal with what was going on with Junior. Through the years I have taught myself to not get too involved with his pain, I learn to turn it off due to the fact the more I try to comfort him the more irritated he gets. He wants to be left alone to deal with his pain and will usually come out of his crankiness on his own. By not seeing what work he does outside I have a hard time knowing if he is stressing his back out. While I was in prayer God laid on my heart that Junior's back was hurting and he is also dealing with pain in regards to my health. Both he and I know where Parkinson's tends to end up, the patient is not able to do anything for themselves which means that I will be a lot to deal with. It is scary for me and it is scary for him too. Up until this point I have been "me" focused, learning what I can about my disease, putting into practice the things I have learned that will help maybe even prolong the disease process to some extent etc. When God laid Junior's struggle in regards to my health I understood that I will need to encourage him to get a support system in place for him. After I gave Junior a piece of my mind and we had settled down we began this discussion. We talked about a few options came up with he does very poorly in support groups due to his anger issues and then realized we know 2 other couples who are struggling with PD too. I suggested that Junior begin a conversation with the caregivers. I then reminded him that I need information when he is hurting since I am not able to see the work he is doing that may be stressing his back out. I have learned to not bring it up all the time and at the same time I still need a little warning. He has had a few days not stressing his back out, today we went out to exchange the chainsaw he had for another one and prayerfully this one won't bother him as he pulls to start the saw. His real good saw is in the shop getting fixed and the one he picked up was not that good, it was all the store had so he went with it. We had an extremely cold spell so he was cutting up wood more, now we are warming up for a few days I hope he is able to get ahead on the wood. The other hard lesson I have learned is when you have disabilities working in a straightforward manner is not possible. Junior changes jobs he is working on throughout the day because it helps his back. Gone are the days where he stays with a project until it is done which is why the wood is not all cut up for winter use. We chose not to buy already cut wood this year because we have so much wood on our property we can cut up and use. We have learned each others "had enough" points and we back off until we can be rational. I am grateful to learn that fighting does not mean there will be no end to it. We learned this in a lot of workshops, reading the Bible and praying. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet

January 14, 2017

Greetings My Friend, Winter has arrived! Today's high is going to be 14 degrees so keeping the house warm is more of a challenge. Little Daisy has taken her little body over to the heater and has sat by it a few times already even though she has on a warm fleece coat on her. With the cold we got 3 inches of snow which makes the house brighter. I find that I am sitting with my warm throws on me to keep warm and while I sit I found myself looking up Bible apps. The one I was using was upgraded and it was difficult for me to understand it so I started looking around the app store. I found a new app called Logos and I believe it will take me further in my Bible study. I am still doing the Bible in a year, in the last while I have started learning new ways to take my study deeper. I have learned to circle words that stand out, to map the sentence where I diagram my thoughts more which is staying with me longer. The Logos app has videos I can use to learn more in depth. There are all kinds of reference books for me to access so I am excited. I used this app this morning and now I need to rethink my journal writing and I need to decide if I want to write in long hand or to journal on the app. I like my journal format a lot, it is helping me keep tabs on my emotions, it opens my heart to talk to God more so and the questions and answers that pop up and I am guided by the Holy Spirit. I will more than likely find a way to make notes in my Bible, on line and keep up with entering things in my journal. One of the entries I put in the journal is "What does the Holy Spirit say" This heading helps me to stop and listen to the God whispers on my heart. The next entry of "How can I serve others today" teaches me to focus on how to apply what I learn in my reading to ministry. When I first met Junior he was involved in Amway I learned some great things. I have always loved learning and felt that I needed to get a degree in something. I started out thinking I wanted to be a Nursery School teacher, then I had an English class that taught me about journal writing and writing took hold in my heart, later I decided I needed to make more money than teaching preschool children so I took accounting classes and I entered the business world of banking. Amway taught me that education is not always the formal type but educating yourself can be more useful. Slowly I discovered that I could study God's Word and grow in that, I was intrigued and I find through the years God been teaching me, growing me and I love it. This app is another growth period for me taking me deeper than I have been. The diagraming is exciting me to no end, back in high school or junior high, I hated all the diagraming, this however is awesome. I guess age helps, the idea of going out of my comfort zone is fun too. I find as I look back on my years reading through the Bible that I changed reading plans, for a few years I read the Chronological Bible and it helped me to understand the sequence of events better because the Bible is not in sequential order. For a few years now I have read the Bible through and listened to the Bible being read at the same time, I like this since the laws and all the dimensions are overwhelming to me and my mind starts to drift or I begin to skip those sections. Revelations is hard to grasp period so the reading to me has helped me to begin to absorb some of the lessons in Revelations. I have even begun to identify many of the people in Jesus' genealogy as I read through them in the 4 Gospels too. The Logos app does not have the audio so I will see how well I do with the more difficult parts of the Bible. A New Year, a new reading plan that takes me deeper, life could not get any sweeter. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet

January 12, 2017

Greetings My Friend, For most of my life I have felt it is important to take care of my body and I come back to a verse in Ephesians 5:28 "In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself." When my children were born I entered into a journey of attempting to feed my family in healthy ways. We used to have a garden in the back yard and I often found myself telling my children if they were good they could go pick, green beans, cucumbers or tomatoes for a snack and they loved it. My son asked me often as a youngster "Remember me if I like this?" My answer was always yes even if I knew he did not like it the last time he tried it. It worked because both of my children liked to eat fairly healthy until they were teenagers. Later they seem to have went back to eating healthy, both of them have had a love of cooking as well. I often hear people say "you are what you eat", I believe this also. I was in a marriage where my ex took great pride in overeating, eating whatever pleased him and enjoyed abusing his body. It upset me that he had such little regard for his health. After we divorced I met Junior who tries hard to take care of his health, he exercises, eats fairly well and I see the results of this in his life. I also see that he encourages me to care for my body, when we first were married he used to put supplements by my plate for me to take and because we work at being healthy with our bodies I see that our marriage is healthy, our concern for each other is healthy and I even see that our spiritual growth is healthy. We always need to be open to growing and rethinking bad habits that we enter into but in general we work at being healthy as a team. I appreciate this very much. After we were married for awhile Junior got into the habit of running everywhere in his work clothes that were stained, ripped and looked like work clothes. Even has gone to church in his fairly dirty clothes and I found myself asking him to care enough to be clean and wear unstained clothes when we go out. I felt he did not care for me and when I questioned him, I discovered he did not truly care what he looked like. We went to a seminar onetime where the husband did not care what he looked like, he discovered if he did not care then he could dress to please his wife. I reminded Junior of this and he has been gracious enough to go out in public clean and neat for me. Neither Junior nor I are "suit" wearing people. I like a casual style more than a restricting style of dress which I find dressing in business attire to be. Junior goes to church in jeans and a tee shirt these days and I am good with this. He used to wear a suit to church but he purposely changed to casual so that if anyone came in that could not afford expensive clothes they would not feel bad. I would say my style of clothing for church is along the lines of business casual a little less than that really. I wear a skirt now but I used to wear dress slacks and a knit top. Now I wear a skirt and the same kind of top. I have switched to skirts or dresses due to my balance issues and down the road when I am not able to care for myself these will be easier for Junior to dress me in. Junior takes care of himself and I see it in the way he works, kind of. The finished product is done well, he does leave things scattered about when his work is done each day. I have gotten used to this quirk but the finished product matters to me more so. I do have to ask him to pick up things that hamper my walking or I will go behind him and make the path manageable. I have learned he does not do this to irritate me but he sees nothing wrong with his approach and can't see what hampers me. May God bless you and keep you, make His face shine on you. Love Janet

January 10, 2017

Greetings My Friend We are made in the likeness of God and for the longest time I could only relate to our likeness is in the flesh. This last little while though I am starting to understand the "likeness" we have is in our spirit, not our flesh because God is spirit not flesh. I have always "heard" that God was spirit but I did not fully comprehend this thought. Today in Genesis I read "My spirit shall not abide in man for ever, for he is flesh, his days shall be 120 years." I have been reading through the bible for a good 18 years but today I see that God is wanting our spirit to meet His spirit. A little later I read "when man began to multiply on the face of the land and daughters of man were attractive. And they took as they chose." So now I wonder what does this mean until I recall reading the previous day that Adam and Eve bore another son after Cain killed his brother Able. Cain became a wanderer away from God because he killed his brother and he had other sons and daughters. I read that Seth the son Adam and Eve had after Able died had a son named Enosh and his line began to call on the Lord. It seems that there were people who remembered that God was God and chose to walk with God, when the people multiplied they then began to mingle with Cain's people and intermarried thus pulling those believers into walking away from their relationship with God. God had told Adam and Eve to go forth and multiply because He wanted to have people to interact with those who loved Him as He loved them. The whole purpose of multiplying was for man to make children to grow up and worship Him. I learned years ago that all of the answers to the Bible are in the first 11 Chapters of Genesis, the rest of the Bible is history. This part shows me how Adam and Eve taught their children about their relationship with God and then the children took one of two roads, there were the believers and the ones who chose to not follow God. It seems the 2 lines were separate for a long time then they began to mingle. I know from experience that when a believer begins to build relationships with unbelievers that the believer soon will walk away from God. I have seen it time and again. God called Abraham, Isaac and Jacob to follow Him and they did. They fell back many times but soon they trusted God and God blessed them. When Moses started teaching the Israelite's God's laws they were to be separate from the people's. God wanted them to be priests for Him and to bring Him to the the world. Later Jesus came and opened the door for all people to come to God. The idea is that we reach out to other's and testify what God has done in our lives, we are to be honest, not covet, honor our parents and to love God which are in the 10 commandments. We cannot fulfill the law on our own or in the flesh but because Jesus came into the world we have one who did fulfill the law perfectly. God provided for our sins and that provision is Jesus. We have to believe God which means we need to believe Genesis one, "God created." From the beginning God taught us that He will provide a redeemer for us and in Jesus God fulfilled His promise. Just because Jesus came to save us though does not mean we get a free pass. We are required to believe God created and we are to believe died for our sins. We have to admit that we sin and from what I have learned sin is anything that draws you away from God. Next we are to believe Jesus is God's Son and accept that He died for our sins. If we do this the Holy Spirit will begin to teach us how to live a life that is pleasing to God. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet

January 7, 2017

Greetings My Friend, For awhile now Junior has been saying "If you don't believe the first sentence in the Bible you don't believe God." Each time he said it I thought "well, yeah". As it does when Junior says things like this I know that it will start to gel in my mind. Sunday morning I started my journey through the Bible again which took me right to the first words written in the Bible, "In the beginning God created..." There it was that sentence and it was speaking to me right off. As I read the first two chapters I found myself highlighting all the sentences that started with that and then I "saw" "And God said it was good." God created, God called it good and then there was that one mind boggling sentence "Then God said 'Let us make man in our image." Who is us? I learned through the years that "us" is Father, Son and Holy Ghost." I stop and think about what Junior was saying and if I don't believe these first few words and sentences it will be hard to move any deeper into the Word and I believe in God's Word with all my heart. It took 6 days to create the world and creation was spoken into existence because God created with the spoken word. God spoke all of creation but when He got to man God created man from the dust of the earth and Eve from Adam's rib. That act of creation shows me that God creating man from the dust of the earth meant God placed a higher significance on man and woman than He did in all of creation. We were given the job of taking care of God's creation. We were created to work, I love to work and I know that when we work we please God which always feels good to me. I read a bit more when I come across God resting on the 7th day. I learn God wants me to take time to rest and I am starting to see part of resting is resting in God. This past year or so I have discovered resting in God. Chronic Fatigue means you feel exhausted even when you have done very little and part of my vegging has found me praying often falling asleep as I pray then one day I discover I am learning to rest in God. While I sleep I am comforted, I sense I am being comforted and slowly my energy level came back to the point that I may need only one nap during the day and I am able to do a full days work. Most Saturdays or Sundays, even both days I need to slow way down, sleep a little more then come Monday I start working again. Our home is cleaner, I am able to cook more and at times I ft in some sewing or decoupage which is nice. God also reminds me that He does not want me all involved in active ministry, He wants my ministry to fit around my Parkinson's Disease. Today I got up, got ready to go to Sunday school and church, I came home and took a 2 hour nap then went back to church for Bible study. When I got up to leave church I noticed getting up that I felt weak, walking was a little shaky and when I got home I was going to write but God kept pointing to me that it was not time. Finally it came to me that I had not done any balance routines or rode the recumbent so off I went to get these things done. I feel a bit better and now writing, I see God is right. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet

January 5, 2016

Greetings My Friend, I spent time last week looking to see if I was closer to God at the end of the year than I was at the start of the year. This first week of the New Year has me thinking where my faith journey and my life's journey will take me. I see the work of ministering to others continuing although I see that the types of things I can do will change due to Parkinson's Disease. Ironically I found myself talking on the phone for long periods of time to 2 different people. Today I spent time texting a friend helping her wrap her mind around all the stuff going on in her heart and life. The change in ministry where we reach out to people in the community is passing due my health issues. Much of mine and Junior's life is centered on our health needs so reaching out is now difficult. While I was talking on the phone it came to me that it is important to listen to people which is what I did with the 2 people on the phone and the texting I did helping my friend work through some tough issues. I am also looking at my health and I wonder where it will take me this year. A year ago I had no answers, no idea of what to expect where my health was going to take me and I was anxious. Around April I had Vestibular Therapy and I learned how to work around the dizziness I had, it helped me but did not resolve any of my gait issues. It took me until November to get a diagnosis, the diagnosis was around 5 years in the making so to have a real answer to what was going on. Knowing an answer helps a lot, I have something to work towards and I have learned that if I keep active, do balances and work my brain I can delay some of the affects of PD. When I slow down to think about what the end stages of PD are I can get real anxious, when this happens I take my concerns to God and I am comforted, He points me to things I can do to be able bodied as I am able to. Knowing God cares, wants my best helps me face the storms of my life. As I continue in my thinking process I discover that God brought Junior and I together and I know he won't give up helping me through this disease. Junior knows I am doing what I can with his bad back, making him comfortable in our home and encouraging him on his work renovating. My thoughts turn to being thankful that God is waiting for me to ask Him for help, courage or whatever else I may need. My thankfulness grows to our home, all of the work I did last summer dehydrating food for the winter and learning to love the simple life God has placed me in. I know that I know my faith is what is going to sustain me, help me and guide me. I like that a whole lot. My biggest plan for this New Year is to grow in my faith with Jesus and with that I know I can handle whatever will come my way. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet

January 3, 2017

Greetings My Friend, Yesterday afternoon and this morning I found myself talking to 2 people who needed to talk on the phone. One is in major pain due to her hip going out on her and she is waiting for hip replacement surgery, the other is struggling with the potential life threatening cancer she has. Both friends are scared, angry and find that their life is taking a change they are not ready to enter into. I understand that need to talk especially when you can't get out and socialize. I went through a few years of trying to socialize as I dealt with exhaustion, severe vomiting and the whole ugly scene. I learned about Facebook and other social media sites which started to fill the void of social activity I used to be involved in. Junior has a friend who will call him to help him struggle through the craziness of his life, all of these people know what they need to do but they need a friend who cares. I have also learned to avoid answering the phone if I can not give the person the time they need to talk. When I can I then will call them back. The one friend who has cancer is someone that has struggled with depression and bi polar problems,she has never learned to allow others to share their struggles with her. Each time I feel like walking away God shows me He is working in her life so I stick around until I want to give up again and talk to God about how I feel. The beautiful thing is I am starting to see progress toward her faith journey. She has always accepted God is real but she has never got down to walking with Jesus, her cancer is making her face her mortality and I am grateful for her heart working on her faith walk. I think this is the point I had in mind as I thought about this topic of being available to listen to people who are in a struggle opening their heart to listen to God and His direction for their life. God also showed me again that ministry is not always about working at the food bank, teaching a class or being a church secretary. Those are the types of ministry I thought I would do when I retired and to be honest I miss this type of work. When we first moved down to Virginia I found that both Junior and I were able to come alongside of people who needed help in our community. We found ourselves giving rides to appointments, to the food bank etc. As my gait issues continue to get worse we discovered that it is time to pull back and find ways to take care of ourselves. While we were learning to take care of ourselves I discovered a ministry on line, some of it is my writing and a lot is being with friends who are Jesus followers and disabled. We share our struggles and our disabilities along with pointing each other back to our faith in Jesus. At this point I can now turn around and point my 2 friends to take advantage of social media. It did take me awhile to learn how to deal with social media, a fight once or twice and now I have a better grasp of how to keep some things offline. I would find it hard to be at home alone all the time but with social media I am able to have friends and to be honest it keeps me connected to what is going on in the world. In recent weeks I have also had a few conversations with people who have different life views than mine and I have learned we can still be friendly even if we do not believe the same way. God has so much work to be done and I have discovered God is not done with me yet even when my health fails so bad I can do nothing but pray I will have a very responsible job in God's kingdom work. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet