April 30 2016

Greetings My Friend, The old curb find has been pulled out to the front porch. It is waiting to be given a face lift and to be used once more. A coat of white paint has been put on most of the wardrobe and as the last of the paint is applied I have come up with a few ideas as to how to put those special finishes on it. I have several pieces of wallpaper and a piece of wallboard that have been used in this house over the years and I want to work them into the design. The pieces are small but I have several so I want to arrange what I do have and that is where I stop and start as I think this through. When I come in from being outside I feel the familiar tug on my lungs and I realize that the pollen may be the culprit. I am in the midst of another project and I love it. Recently I have started making no knead bread. I have switched my decopauge crafting from the TV room to the kitchen. I have more room to spread out and I am enjoying this too. My energy level is decent again. I am able to work for a little longer periods of time and I am thrilled. I am being productive which moves me. As I enjoy the renewed energy again I get a phone call telling me that my bone density test came back that I still have oseoprosis. I asked if the hip and lower back pain might be associated with this and I am told it very well could be. "Oh great" I think "one more problem to sort through." I decide that I am not going to let this get me down. I am doing what I can and that is all that I can do. God has held my hand recently as I struggled with the need to use the wheelchair. I had gotten myself worked up about being in a wheelchair and in the end it was not as bad as I had made it out to be in my mind. It is what I will have to deal with I can accept it and move forward or worry and fret. I have slowed way down with my walking inside our home. I know not to climb any ladders because I may fall. I am doing all I can to not fall. Through a lot of hard work I have learned and now understand more of my asthma triggers and I am doing better. God has guided me here as well. I will seek God's advice in regards to strengthening my bones more and ways to deal with potential falls. I move through these thoughts a little discouraged when I remember my project to work on. God has laid it on my heart to work on these projects and I am thankful for work to do. Work defines me and these days being creative is a new adventure for me. I always felt my creativeness was writing only. I wanted to be seen as a good mother in my younger years. I identified with this role more than my career at the bank. I liked my work but raising my children met much more to me. When Junior came along I found a career was okay but I wanted to be a wife, a mother and a grandmother. Today creating is speaking to me. Some part of me thinks that God has laid this on my heart so that I have something to fill my mind with as the seriousness of my health declines and over whelms me. I believe that dealing with the various issues with chronic illness and invisible illness is a way to help others understand their disease along with helping those that don't understand the depth of our limitations. Someone in a wheelchair makes more impact than a person struggling to breathe, to walk and with pain that can not be seen. Both the visible and invisible disabilities are handicaps and need to be understood. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet