November 17 2015

November 17 2015 Greetings My Friend November is a month where we remember to be thankful. I strive to thank God daily for those things He has given me or done for me. I started this journey about 18 years ago when I divorced. Back then I read a book on being thankful and was challenged to write 5 things I was thankful for each day. It was hard when I began this journey. Newly divorced I felt like I was a victim, I was living with my mother since my job was downsizing and I was not sure how I would support myself if I were laid off. I began searching to get to 5 each day and there were days it was a huge struggle to find 2 much less 5. If I could not find something I would be thankful that all the drama of my married life was finally over with. I was not fully sure I was glad but it was something. Slowly though I started to see how much I truly had and my thankfulness moments was opening my eyes to all that I truly had. I had a roof over my head, a bed to sleep in and food to eat. These still amaze me today the very basics of life I have. I started going to Single Point first with Divorce Recovery and then to Sunday services with other singles. I had a group of friends to share this scary journey with. Junior was there and our romance started quickly, much too quick but it kept getting stronger and stronger. We married 5 months after meeting and realizing that our odds of being divorced jumped measurably we decided to do what we could to strengthen it. On our honeymoon Junior insisted we pray together each day. I was not sure about this since I felt my prayers had to be flowery. Junior started off praying each day and I attempted to say something in prayer. Soon I was leaving the pretty prayers alone and slowly I started talking to God about my day, my fears and my desires. My counselor taught me the ACTSS prayer format and I took off using this as my guide. I found myself awake deep into the night or awake with Junior early so I prayed through this format daily mainly in one session. Today I pick up from where I left off and some days I just chat with God. Those longer sessions are fairly much gone but they opened the door to opening my entire heart to God. Junior taught me to pray for my ex and that was hard but day after day I lifted up his name only. Slowly I did not hate him anymore. Part of the prayer is giving thanks so I found myself pondering all that I had. After a while I realized even the smallest things I had were a gift from God. I could see maybe the nice house or the car but a toothbrush? The more I focused on being thankful for even the smallest things I understood the depth of things I was given. Today I continue the thanksgiving part of prayer but I find myself stopping throughout the day and thanking God for things. I suffer from Chiari Malformation and as I read the help sites I realize that so far I don’t deal with the pain many suffer with. I have some headaches that slow me down but not often. Today I realize I am thankful that my pain is minimal even as I see my balance issues increasing. I am learning to do old things in a new way and I am able to take care of most of my needs. I am thankful for this as well. I am sad that I have this struggle but then I find without it I would not have discovered my endurance. To be honest I would not endure as well as I do without taking my fears to God all the time. He hears me, comforts me and then sends me back into the day. Our God is awesome! May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet