October 17 2015

October 17 2015 Greetings My Friend “Be still and know that I am God.” God speaks this to my spirit again today. I am wanting to rush my morning routine so I can do some housework. We have no place to go but I am ready to finish my quiet time and begin my work. I have had my run through Facebook, even a couple of times. I have looked at my emails and wandered around Hometalk seeing various projects that look tempting and then quietly I entered into Bible study time. Afterward I felt a bit sleepy so I laid back in my chair with my neck pillow inviting me to sleep a bit. I started chattering to God about nothing in particular. In the midst of the inane chatter I remember feeling thankful so I thank God for various things like a bed to sleep in, a neck pillow to cradle my neck. Between the chatter and saying thankful I slowly focus on my needs and want again. I marvel that when my needs are met my wants seem so trivial. I find my wanting the best house, car, jewelry to wane in my day to day desires. I marvel again that each time I need to eat that food is available. Soon I find that I am waking up again. Now I am not in such a hurry to get up and start working around the house. My mind wants to work in a quiet job so I begin to write. As I write I take breaks to look out the window and notice how the leaves are turning colors. I am content in the fall weather today warm and tomorrow not as warm one day at a time the summer’s heat leaves. Daisy needs to be let out. All the other dogs use the doggy door, she insists that I let her out. By doing this through the last few years I have had to focus on her and her needs and for a moment anyway I am not dwelling on my struggles. I have started moving more in order to care for her and I am so thankful she is in my life. I needed Daisy to help me refocus my life and at the right time she came along. She is my buddy as I wander around the house at first in my arm and now on the seat to my walker. Junior walks in and Daisy gets fussy barking. She is protecting me and I love that too. She can’t see very well these days and I don’t think her sense of smell is all that great either since she never seems to recognize Junior as he wanders in and out all day. He speaks to her as he comes in and shortly she quiets down. At this point I marvel on a need I had and a need God met. The more I am thankful and the more I learn the difference between wants and needs the more I begin to see the difference. Four years ago I fell and broke my vertebrae. At that point the doctor’s discovered my birth defect Chiari Malformation. They gave me little information on the birth defect so I found a couple online support groups. I continue to understand more so what is going on with my disability. As I think through what I happening now I find myself talking to God seeking His guidance as to where I need to go for help. We have had many back and forths and slowly I am seeing that I should allow the doctor’s to rule out the things they think it may be. Right now my doctor has me taking a stronger anti anxiety medication to help with anxiety and to help with the shaking. She has prescribed a stronger inhaler to help me with the windedness. They are helping me a little and I will go back in a few weeks to see the next steps she thinks is best. At first I was all over the place trying to insist they look into CM more. Today I am comfortable with all the rule it out steps. In God’s time not mine I will learn what He wants me to do. In the meantime I will let the doctor’s poke and prod. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet