May 2 2015

May 2 2015 Greetings My Friend This morning has started out like it has the last two days with nausea. It is the kind of nausea that stops me in my tracks and doing is difficult. I also need to sleep a whole lot and I was getting rather tired of this routine. I took Zofran which the past two days has not helped but today I feel better after a short nap and prayer time. As I understand Chiari Malformation I learn that other things often are part of my symptoms. I have GERDS which is also a symptom of Chiari. I am guessing that my allergies are acting up and that in turn is also affecting my Chiari. As I look at this I sense that with my brainstem going down into my vertebrae that the spinal fluid is disrupted so the two become one symptom. At any rate today I am on the other side of the nausea so I will take and run with this day. I am learning to embrace the good days and roll through the bad days and life is okay somehow. I am learning that pain comes in many forms. I get physical pain such as when my neck is aching or a headache but a new pain I am learning to deal with is the pain of major discomfort or the pain of not being able to move about like I once did. With these types of pain I sense a lot of mourning, learning to accept the reality I now live with and then when I’ve walked through these stages I can begin to live a full life within my new ability level. Today I can be thankful for the good days and on the bad days I am learning to deal with my discomfort. At this point I know that better days are ahead so the waiting out the bad days is easier. I look out the window and see the sunshine and I find thoughts forming as to what I will attempt today. I am excited at the prospect of planting more pots with flowers and vegetables for our porch area. I start to formulate what I will make for us to eat this week and I am excited. I may need to work a bit slower today to regain my strength and that is okay at least I am up and moving and doing. I am learning to keep talking to God throughout the day attempting to stay close to Him. He guides me, holds me and in Him I have the ability to go through the storm and enjoy the good days. On my own I would have made my illness about 10 times worse in my mind, think that I’d never overcome and stay depressed. God helps me to see sunshine even when I feel clouds of darkness on me. As I look at God’s loving sunshine I find hope and hope is what teaches me to keep on keeping on. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet