May 2 2015

May 5 2015 Greetings My Friend The Marine Corps reunion was one of the best we attended. Our group is older now so we needed to slow down, to share more for some reason. The men shared some of their Vietnam moments and as a group we shared how we are learning to cope with older bodies. I think we all are surprised that getting older is a lot of work. Once we accept the inevitable we then learn to deal with an older body and a forgetful mind. Most of us haven’t come to this moment without a bit of a fight in us trying to live as we always lived. When we begin to realize that this too is a part of life we begin to lean into our ailing bodies and live life the best we can. PTSD showed itself in Junior too. As the guys talked a bit about some of the things that went on I saw Junior withdraw. He came back to our room and laid there not talking and finally went to sleep. He woke up leaving those memories in the past. He tends to forget, to not open the door to those memories and when they come he shuts down for a period of time. As we were leaving Nashville we could not find our way to the expressway and he became agitated. My friend called and walked us out of Nashville and pointed us to the restaurant where we were to meet and by the time we arrived he was calm and sociable again. Junior panics when he does not know where he is. I have learned to either be quiet if I can’t figure out the direction or to offer my advice when I do. Talking to him in a calm voice keeps his panic at bay. Some of the guys refuse to fly. Some have to sit with their backs to the wall. I also noticed how they watch out for each other and the wives. I used my walker all week and Junior needed to use the restroom. He told me to stay where I was and he would return for me. It was time to get back on the tour bus and we were late getting back when all of a sudden several men came in and found me. They called their wives and told them that if Junior showed up they had me. Just then Junior came in. When I saw them I was so relieved since it seemed to be taking Junior forever to get back and a phone call to him was dropped. Someone was always watching out for me too as steps or high curbs came about. To be honest I don’t think I have ever felt so watched after and cared for by anyone but Junior. It seems that these men have seen the worst in life and they now cherish the best in life. They are very protective of those they love. I used to think that the wildness they were into in Vietnam was the way they lived their lives. For a time some did but slowly they came out of their crazy days and settled. They came to terms with PTSD and learned how to cope with it. To me our military men and women are a special group of people and today I look upon them with deep respect and thankfulness. I am able to be free because they cared enough to defend us and our freedom. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet