April 16 2015

April 14 2015 Greetings My Friend, We started cleaning the back deck yesterday and at this point Junior needs to move the bigger heavy things. Today though the deck is on the back burner since the fence people are here to install the fence and Junior is outside hanging with the guys. My chronic fatigue has passed and I am working at cleaning the house, the porch, making tuna salad and baking banana muffins. My workload isn’t as hard as all the squatting I was doing picking up debris out of the yard so I am not feeling exhausted. The weather is in the 60’s and eating on the porch was relaxing. Visiting Junior as he ate his lunch was that time we strive to connect as a couple and the dogs didn’t catch on right away that we had food so some peace there too. We are getting our tax refund and we received a check from our remortgage of our MI house so we are able to get the whole fence done now instead part of it. I felt that moment again of “will the house ever be fully renovated?” I stopped and looked around the outside of our house and I see that so much has already been done. The anxiety left. I went inside to see that my weekend project of making a collage of cross’ on the mirror looks good and again I find contentment. The projects truly keep us involved and busy and has been good for me as I work my way back to the housekeeper I once was. Sometimes I feel so impatient with God’s timing only to find in the end I am grateful for His perfect knowledge and timing. I felt bad as we moved from MI to VA because this is when the chronic fatigue started and only recently have I been able to work through a lot of my issues. Junior had to carry the burden. Today though he is thrilled with my come back and often compliments me. He understands when chronic fatigue hits me too and does not fuss at me because I am sitting and napping a lot. He has learned that I will work at getting back to some sort of energy and begin doing again. It has been a long road to this day and truthfully the “sitting” has made me slow down and accept a much slower pace of life. In the quiet my prayer life has grown, my writing has grown and working in spurts is now the norm. In the end all of these things has helped me enter into my senior years and accept that I am no longer “young” mentally or physically. The new to us farm house has also opened up our thinking as far as our limitations are now and in the future. We have a wheel chair ramp to get into the house, we have the washer and dryer on the one level we have and live on so no steps need to be gone down. We even have a walk in shower and in the end we hope to have a master bedroom and a bathroom with a deep soaking tub. Learning to slow down and to move at a different pace was trying but now it is worth it so I am thankful to God for this renovating journey. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet