January 20 2015

January 20 2015 Greetings My Friend Junior’s creative process shows itself once more. He has added on to the front porch and is putting up lattice on the end so people won’t fall off. In one place though he changed from the lattice to making a railing with wooden slats. It looks real nice. I am working on learning to accept people where they are in life’s journey. B tells me what I want to hear like she is going to come and go to church with us. She never does and after a while I get irritated. As I ponder my irritation I realize I have believed her instead of letting her be or do what she does. I look forward to her coming for her not to come so I have been telling her that we both know she isn’t going to come. B has said she gets irritated with me and thinks on my statement and knows I am wanting her best. I see my side and I am starting to see her way of life. She is who she is and more than likely she isn’t going to change. Junior keeps telling me to “just let her talk.” I am also working through her “I’’m going to clean my house, my car, care for my pets better” and a lot more statements. I did well with these “going to” statements when we first met. I tended to believe she was really trying to change. As the years have gone on I see that she isn’t and she is going to tell me what I want to hear. I can let them get to me or realize this is who she is and let all her comments roll off of me and move on. We’ve had a talk about my impatience and I believe we will move forward easier now. My journey right now seems to be accept people where they are at. I have learned to let Junior be Junior and I love discovering his heart over and over. Now I need to take this lesson to other people in my life. Learning to let go of my expectations of them changing frees me to love them where they are at. As I absorb this lesson I also see that I don’t have to let others run over me with their actions as well. I know that B isn’t dependable so I should not depend on her to do something that is important to me. I should not put her in that position as well. I would say I have this part down pat and now I need to learn to realize she is who she is. As I find peace in day to day life with my emotional and physical struggles I was thinking I would be on a level playing field in general. Today I am learning that there is always a new lesson to learn and work through. Just because I have learned a lesson it does not mean I am done with learning or that others are at the place I am at in life. God taught me to pray “Open my eyes and heart to Junior” and right now I believe God is teaching me to “open my eyes and heart” to other people in my life. The heart is where I meet the true person even if they have a rough exterior. I also know as I think of people from my life that when I began to look at their heart I see that they are mean inside and out. I see too that God has had me move away from some of those people because they are evil and enjoy being evil and it is best to leave them alone. Some people are happy right where they are at. I see two parts of my faith journey coming under control and I learn that I won’t stop growing and learning if I keep allowing God to change me. I love the changes so far and look forward to more growth. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you Love Janet