October 28 2014

October 28 2014 Greetings My Friend, Where does your peace come from. As I write it is Saturday. All the work on the house I wanted to get done this week has been accomplished. My time in the Bible this morning was a moment of growing deeper in my understanding of my faith. I talk with Junior as he comes in for a break about my thoughts and he adds more thoughts to mine. My heart wants to consistently reach out to the lost, the lonely, the hurting, those whose lifestyle is different than mine. I have felt the sting of being unacceptable throughout my life and after feeling the depth of love from Jesus I tend to desire to reach out to all people, the loveable and the unloveable both. Through the years I have gone from pro choice to pro life in my beliefs. I never had an abortion but had thought that given the right circumstances I would have. As I meet women who actually had an abortion I find a huge sadness a deep regret over their decision. I also know that a true confession to God, a true sense of wrong in a person’s heart and God will forgive them and then bring them comfort. In my heart I think if we all admit to it we’ve all have done some pretty harsh/wrong things in our lives. It is that moment though that you finally stop justifying the wrongs of your life and you admit them it is at that point you begin to truly heal. In essence it is admitting your “sin” and then telling God or confessing it that you can truly begin to walk away from the burdens of your heart. Some people cave into the desires of the body and have sex outside of marriage in an act of adultery or even before marriage. For me giving my body away before marriage seemed to be the thing to do. I found many reasons to justify it from being so lonely to finding out the strange practices a partner may desire. As I learned that God truly wanted my best I found myself feeling incomplete and I even saw how I was not trusting God to bring the right mate to me. As I learned this I asked God to forgive me and I believe He has forgiven me. God also doesn’t want me to go around carrying that guilt for the rest of my life. I need to face the wrong, confess and then move on. My goal as I confess is to begin to ask God to help me not crave those things which really are bad for me. Today as a thought tries to break through I know that if I ask God to take the thought away He will. I could be upset with the disabilities I now deal with or I can thank God. In thanking God and confessing my fears to Him I begin to have peace about them. I find ways to cope with them and something strange and new is happening to me. I am more creative than I have ever been. Due to my disabilities I have to rethink how to do things. I need a cane to walk with anymore. We have an electric car and I can start it while I wait for Junior with my cane. I can reach my cane over to the other side and roll down all the windows I may want to put down. As I do stretching and balancing exercises I find my balance is unstable but if I reach out and hold onto a chair or something stable I can balance. In doing this I feel I am strengthening my agility and I am not falling like I was. Same goes with essential oils I am using them for a lot of my COPD and anxiety. Lavender on my feet at night is bringing me to a sounder sleep. Evening Primrose is giving me more energy and an ability to concentrate better. Taking vitamin c regularly helps me not get as sick. Eating less processed food is also helping me stay healthy. As I strive to be healthy in all areas of my life I find learning God’s ways to be the most helpful. I have a desire to keep my body healthy for God. I find if I would be ashamed of my husband knowing some of my thoughts then I’d be even more ashamed if God knew and God knows all things so now I try hard to not to take my thoughts to those places anymore. The end result is I am learning to be the same at home in private and out in public. These days I don’t get embarrassed over things I’ve said or done because I am staying the same inside and out. Lately the “WWJD” has become my motto in life, my guideline and in that I find “I am a new creation in Christ.” May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet