October 2 2014

October 2 2014 Greetings My Friend, Sometimes we have to “move on” even if we don’t get the apology we think we deserve. The moving on isn’t easy but the apology will never come and you need to forgive even though you don’t want to. If you don’t you’re hurt and anger will begin to control you all the while the one that hurt you doesn’t even seem to notice the great pain they caused you. I’ve seen a saying like the above on and off recently on FaceBook and each time I see it I tend to “feel” this statement deep inside of me. The journey to forgiving the person, yourself can be a journey in of itself but it is a journey that must be taken in order to move on and into day to day life. Even though for the most part I have let it go every once in a while I want an acknowledgement from someone close and I learn that they may not have seen it the way I saw it or felt it the way I felt it also. They were there living the whole situation alongside of me but they saw from a different set of eyes, they were hurt in their own way as well. So I learn to own my part of their hurt, my hurt and to “let go let God.” Only in acknowledging my part and accepting the reality of what was, was can I truly move on. This acknowledgement is confession. The more I confess to God I find God teaching me that He wants my best and that means I have to “let go” even if I was right, wronged or even was the one who did a hurt. As I acknowledge this to God I start to understand what it means when He says “ I will forgive your sins as far as the east is from the west.” The two never meet and once I’ve acknowledged this infraction for that is what it really is I am able to move on and don’t have to keep relieving this pain. Another lesson I’ve learned is that forgiving doesn’t mean you pretend you were never hurt that isn’t healing that is denying and denying isn’t facing the situation head on. Just because I forgave doesn’t mean I have forgotten the deep hurt. I find for me anyway it means that when I begin to chew on the hurt I can ask God to help me walk out of that moment and He always has and always will. Forgiving also means I don’t have to allow someone to hurt me to hurt me and then they ask to be forgiven only to turn around and hurt me again. Forgiving may mean walking away and accepting the hurt but it does not mean you have to reenter the situation again. This last lesson took me a while to figure out. I was able to walk away through divorce but I had ties that kept me in contact since we had children and grandchildren together. Seeing my ex at family gatherings was taxing on me because he was Mr. Friendly and wanted to act as if we were best friends. I did not want to cause a scene so I swallowed a lot of junk. When God had us move to VA. I finally found peace. I did not have to enter into my ex’s game and I did not see him ever. When we go home to MI. these days he is not part of our visit. Other’s may see this as silly but to me it is not and I need to not enter into it. If they don’t understand then I need to forgive them for not understanding my discomfort and pain. These days I can relate to my children and grandchildren as an individual and that feels better. It is what it is. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet