October 18 2014

October 18 2014 Greetings My Friend Junior and I went to the show this past weekend. We haven’t gone to the show in some time. Even though our dates are changing we do still try to have date time each week. We need time to reconnect as a couple to explore our lives and to plan for our future. After the windows were installed last week we walked around our kitchen and enclosed porch area talking about how we envision the renovation of this part of our home. As I set up the enclosed porch with a small table and some boxes to store items in I felt I was giving Junior a gift. He is giving me the gift of a home that fits our needs and our tastes. At one point in our lives I felt that dating met a dinner and a movie or a weekend trip someplace. The longer we are married I see that our dates have changed to special moment we share. Sometimes we share a trip to visit family and friends and that is awesome. Sometimes we go off on our own exploring the new part of the country we have moved to. Sometimes we watch a video and sometimes it is that daily moment where we come together to sit side by side and relax from some of our days work to talk. I enjoy knowing we will hook up throughout the day and it feels like a date to me. Another thing I have learned is to enter into Junior’s realm of enjoyment. Lately even a trip to Lowe’s is a date for us. In another lifetime I hated those trips with a passion. Today though I am thankful that Junior enters into the things I like shopping, taking pictures etc. so I feel a need to enter into his interests. Instead of fussing at Junior I shop alongside of him when we are picking out things he needs my input on. Other times I take a trip through the store walking every aisle looking at the girl stuff, rugs, cabinets, appliances and start to form ideas for our home I’d like Junior to incorporate. I walk each aisle for exercise. I have a buggy to hold onto and I last so much longer than just walking with my cane. I daydream as I walk through the store and when Junior is done I have enjoyed him, helped my body grow stronger and had the fun of dreaming. My thinking is once more turning to Agape love. The more I learn to demanding that my needs be met but start to seek Junior’s needs I find a sweet contentment. I find in some strange way that my needs are being met. I believe that Junior and I have started a circle of caring for each other that replaces the need for self interest on each of our parts. I learn too that we are more of a team also. That team feeling has been a long journey to fully comprehend and to do. Agape love helps us to reach this goal also. When we were first married we had to learn to be a “United Front” to our children, to our family and even in many of our business dealings for instance when we were making large purchases. When I have a need to insert too many of my ideas lately I’ve learned to take a walk while Junior does the negotiating. He likes to seal the deal and I mainly want the item so it is a good fit to let him negotiate these things. Junior lets me take the lead in regards to decorating, organizing and such. Lately we’ve fallen into the habit of writing lists out for all the things we do. We have learned to write a list to go grocery shopping, to have a list when we go to TN. for doctor’s appointments and while there the things we want to stop and get in that area of town. We’ve started keeping a list on our blackboard of projects we need to attend to. For me it takes the “reminding” out of our daily conversations and he isn’t feeling nagged. Today I found Junior wrote an item on that list and I heard him call to make an appointment he had wanted to make. Slowly I realize that dating is a consistent process. We need time to be away and to regroup. We need time to slow down at home and touch base with each other and in some small way it seems like we are dating each other a lot. Ma y God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet