September 13 2014

September 13 2014 Greetings My Friend, “Search me, God and know my heart. test me and know my anxious thoughts see if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the everlasting way.” Psalm 139 This Psalm also talks about being made in the mother’s womb knit together. 1 Corinthians 13 is known as the love chapter. I focus around verse 4 quite a bit. “Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not boast it is not proud. It does not dishonor others. There are a few more I strive to keep in mind each day as well. These are teaching me to live a life the Lord wants me to live. As I wrote my notes on these two chapters I wrote love is the glue of life. I’ve been hurt real bad in my lifetime and my guess there are very few of us who are alive that have not been hurt in a deep way. It is easy to start building those blocks around ourselves to keep from getting hurt again. It is easy to withdraw into ourselves also. I have also had conversations with God when my heart is pricked to forgive someone. “But Lord do you know what was done to me?” He generally tells me He knows and He still wants me to forgive. I learn also that God knows that the hurt is deep and may take a while to forgive. He will also be there as the fear comes to overrule me. One day I wake up and realize that the hurt is not there anymore. The anger has dissipated and I am functioning in the present. Not only am I feeling whole, wanted and loved I find that God keeps telling me to go out and do. I make a list of things I think I like doing and prepare to go out with joy in my heart to find “not that”. More conversations with God ensue. “Lord I want to give because I was given a whole new life in Jesus.” God lets me sit with bronchitis, chronic fatigue, Chiari and COPD. The more I sit the more I hear “I want you to write, to be available in the community in a personal way….befriending someone down the street.” I also hear “ I have given you humor to make others laugh when their day is rather rough.” At one point God said “move, not to another city but to another state.” Lord are we hearing this right?” Each time we ask He keeps directing us forward. We finally move to a new state. We get settled into a tiny house, smaller than I’ve ever lived in and I think this is nice when all of a sudden we are told to move again. We find an old run down farm house that is screaming “come fix me.” We buy it and begin a huge project of renovating. The thing is this is the house I hope to never ever move from. As Junior makes our home liveable even before the liveable began to take shape this house was where I wanted to stay for the rest of my life. I marvel at God’s awesome direction and plans. We are in the mountains, near lots of woods and wildlife. Junior and I love where we are at and have never really felt drawn to lakeside living. It just isn’t us. God pricks my mind as I read through the Bible each year with Scripture. As I absorb the lessons I find I begin to change my thinking and my way of being. I can’t tell you the day I made that change because it was a tiny step here and a giant step there and did I really think that at one time in my life. I know I have changed and I marvel. I like the way life is going at this stage of my life and I pray I will always keep this faith walk. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet