May 31 2014

May 31 2014

Greetings My Friend,

I am doing what I have wanted to do for a lifetime. I am writing and loving it. I am sharing my faith journey on this blog, on FB with two pages one as me doing me and then one page is titled “Letters from Janet.” On this page I am sharing the things I learn, my perspective of what I have learned etc. It is developing so I am not sure where it will go in the future.

I am on Twitter and my cousin taught me how to mange FB and Twitter on a program that will post to both and I can put posts out there to run at a different time. As I learn these things I find my computer abilities growing. I love learning.

This week I also signed onto Instagram. This allows me to post pictures on FB and twitter. I haven't figured out where this avenue will take me other than from what I understand the pictures sent from Instagram tend to not be able to be traced....

At some point I may try to put my different formats into an e-book format. Time will tell. I am learning and growing and loving it. I have a purpose outside of keeping our house clean. I had thought I would get a part time job and volunteer when I retired along with writing. I don't have the ability to hold down a part time job or volunteer regularly. Writing fills the gap nicely.

These days I spend a few hours writing fairly much daily. It is how I wake up and get my day started. As I am beginning to use my inhalers I am finding I can do physical things longer. I am grateful that my CPOD is a mild case. I never smoked but for the first 40 years of my life I lived with heavy smokers. It is what it is. At least I know what is going on and why I can't push past certain physical points. I hope to build my endurance up, we will see.

I truly believe that my health issues are now fully dealt with and I can move forward once more. It has taken several years to walk through all of these issues but one by one we my doctor and I are dealing with these struggles.

While shopping today I did not have a cart to push around and I ran out of steam. I found a spot to sit down and rest. Junior finished up what he was looking for and we went home. I realize that I need to work within my limitations and I attempt to do that.

I was so disappointed that for me retirement was such a struggle. I thought a few months to relax and then enter into my planned projects would see me going at full speed. It did not work out that way. I fell apart emotionally and physically. This June I will be retired for 6 years. We have lived in VA for 5 years now and things are settling rather nicely. Our home is taking shape and the confusion of renovation chaos is settling and I am finding my way better.

This years visit back to MI has found me relaxed in my relationships. The tension and striving to be perfect is not crowding out my calm. I love it. I am developing a comfortable relationship with my children. I sense an openness to our conversations without the hurt from the past.

I have a niece and nephew who are allowing Junior and I to “play” the parent roles we have longed to do. Junior has helped them get an upstairs hall sanded and painted. I have helped with sweeping a bit. As they have worked I have spent time on writing for my blog, my FB “Letters From Janet” page. I am developing a style and feeling comfortable with it. The only tweets I am doing right now is to send out my blog address and my book address where people can buy it. When I get back to VA I plan on tweeting other things as well.

Our nephew's teenage son has allowed us to advise him and interact with him like he is one of grandchildren. It feels real good too. Our nephew has taught me to move around on my smart phone better and showed me how download a few apps. I now have a “fitness” app which is helping me track the food I am eating. I eat fairly well and now I am getting a better sense of portion sizes. I also have downloaded instagram and I am seeing where this app. Can take me.

As we begin to look to head back home I have a lot of warmth in my heart. It has been a long process of reaching this point in my life. God has taken me step by step and many of these steps have taken years to see this end result. Some days it has been very hard but I have felt God's presence. I never have felt alone or abandoned which gave me the will power to see each struggle through.

I also realize that I may have to grow through some more changes as the days, months and years proceed. Having these past struggles to look back on I sense I will enter into my next ones easier. For now I enjoy this period of peace within me. God is good and my love continues to grow closer to Him.

May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you.

Love

Janet