December 3 2013

December 4 2013
Greetings My Friend,
Lately I have had to re-write several blogs. I write them just before I
publish them. My old computer with all the saved blogs was in the shop
and then my new one with more saved blogs is in the shop.
When I get the new one back I hope to figure out how to save on the cloud. This
way I can access my work from whatever computer etc. I am working with. We will
see if I can learn this trick.
I am moving along with hoot suite as well. I have a few days posted for the twitter
topics I write about. My blog is also uploaded on hoot suite and it goes out to my
FB page and my twitter page and the new page I created. I feel so grown up using this
program and writing to my hearts content.
It is hard for me to let other people's attitudes toward me not affect me. I tend to
start believing people that I am weird and strange. I feel deep hurt as I struggle to
find a way to relate to people who don't care for me and the way I am.
In the Lord though I am walking away from the need to be "what others" deem me to be. As
I hurt I take my hurt to God. God reminds me that He created me to be the way I am. God
also keeps putting people in my path that like me the way I am. That feels good so these
days I may entertain the idea of not being very likeable but as I talk to God I find myself
discarding what others think and accept God's view of me.
As I sit in my chair writing Mindy is next to me and Daisy is at my feet on the recliner. I
don't understand why these girls make me feel so special but they do. When Phineas can he
sneaks up in my lap as well. His 30-40 pounds feels heavy next to the girls tiny 10 pounds
and less. Still Phineas feels good in my lap. He fills it up. He lays up near my chin and
if I stop petting him he fusses with me to begin again. I love it to be honest.
These days I hear electric tools going throughout the day. It is refreshing and knowing that
Junior is near also tends to feel good. I don't talk to him much. He wants to concentrate
on what he is doing. Knowing he is near and hearing him work feels real good to me.
We had not been out for a few days. We have holed up at home and been involved in our own
work. When the day was finished for Junior he asked me if I wanted to go to Walmart. I was
dressed in no time flat.
We went off to Walmart. I took Daisy with me. We had a blast shopping for wax melts, a coat
for Mindy another heater etc. I don't need to be taken on a "date" date anymore. I find that
a trip to Walmart is a date. I find a movie at home is a date. I truly love the occasional
trips we take. On the trip we tend to talk and connect in ways we don't at home. Forced time
alone in a car tends to bring out those deep things we tend to ponder. We share goals and
to me I feel connected to my man.
I also love stealing glances at Junior as he drives or sleeps while I drive. His cute factor
continues to grow on me. I find love bubbling inside of me as well. Sometimes I can tell that
Junior is checking me out as well. I must say it feels real special when I catch him checking
me out.
I was concerned about our age difference when we first got together. He is 7 yrs. older than I
am. He was of the era that had DA's for men's hair styles and they wore black. My era was the
"hippie" era. I had straight hair. I loved bell bottom pants and the like.
I continue to find that as we leave our teen years behind the age differences between men and
women does not seem as important in life like it was back in the day. Our faith journey is what
tends to bind us these days. We both have a desire to know Jesus and to live our life as if
Jesus was our Savior. This is the point we connect on.
Sunday mornings means we go to church. There is not argument no discussion. We get up and we go.
We come home and I tend to sleep most of the afternoon. Junior slows way down and sleeps quite a
bit as well. It is our day to re-group and focus on the Lord.
Monday has us back to our day to day life of rennovating and writing and keeping the house in order.
Sunday though is our day to slow way down. We generally head back to church in the evening for
Bible study. We aren't going on Wednesday nights. It seems to be more than we can handle at
present. I'd like to but right now I can't. It is what it is.
I also find myself accepting that my ministry is not volunteering for the various projects the
church tends to take on. It makes me sad but I don't have the energy I once had. I find though
that I am in ministry throughout the week. B has become a friend. We laugh and giggle when she
comes out for a visit. She is living on $500 a month. Not a lot of extra cash flow. We have her
watch our animals when we travel and sometimes she helps me with house work so Junior pays her
for her services as well.
I realize that even though we are friends we are also ministring to her. She tends to minister to
me as well. We share the sting of abuse and she has come alongside of me at times like no one else
has. She has helped me move out of all those memories and listened as I needed an ear. Because of
her patience and understanding I now am able to leave the past in the past more so these days.
A friend recently lost her husband to a long illness. I e-mail her short notes and try to let her
know she wanted and loved. Another friend has had knee replacement surgery and I find myslef calling
and checking in on her.
My writing is also a ministry. I am sharing my faith journey. As I share my journey I tend to
realize that accepting Jesus as my Savior is not a one time and it is sealed deal. For me it
is a journey and some days I do real well and some days I need to start over again. I had
wished I understood the journey aspect many years ago. So now I share in the hopes my journey
helps someone else.
Junior is also a ministry. I attempt to be what he needs me to be. The only way I can do that is
by praying asking God to help me seek Junior's highest good. That means I leave him alone when
he is working. He does not want to chat a lot because the chatter tends to fill his mind and
he can't remember the work he is doing.
Ministry is having the place picked up. I put a load of clothes in the washer and dryer the other
day. Junior does laundry in our marriage. Right now he is so involved in renovating that laundry
tends to take a back seat. I threw the clothes in and dryed them and it is a gift I am giving
to Junior till he is ready to take it back.
As I fell apart the last few years my taking care of the cat box grew very lax. Junior has taken over
that job. I am thankful that he has helped me out.
The more I learn that I don't have to say "God or Jesus" in every sentence and the more I begin to strive
to live God's way the more I realize that I am about the Lord's work even if I am not mentioning Him in
every sentence. It is not about a "showy" way of life but more about a heart filled life for the Lord.
A young lady that I used to watch before school recently contacted me. I read to her and my children at bed
time. Sometimes she'd stay the night. I let her work beside me in the mornings as I made lunches or breakfast.
I even visited her when she had an operation or two. She was like one of my own children to me and she
contacted me telling me how much it meant to her.
I was ministring way back when and did not realize it. There was some kids in the neighborhood who had a crazy
up bringing. I wrote a poem for my children and they asked me to write them one. I wrote about each child
telling them something unique and special about them in the poems. Gee I find myself in ministry way back
when I believed there was a God but did not know how to be close and personal with God.
At one time I was a youth advisor for the teens at the church I attended. I was an elder also. For many years
I was involved in various mission trips. Those are the ways I had thought ministry was. It was tied to the
church. These days I find that not to be the only case. Some of us work with in the church and most of us
work outside the church as well.
As I finish I also realize that I minister to my animals and they tend to minister to me. The thing I find is
that ministry is a moment by moment activity and not just an organized activity. It can be both.
Who are you ministring to? Your family? Friends? Someone you don't know. I even think of myself being in ministry
when I act silly for retail workers to lighten their load for a bit in the day.
May God bless you and keep you make His face to shine on you.
Love
Janet