December 14 2013

December 14 2013
Greetings My Friend,
Winter weather has returned. We had some very nice spring/fall days the last week or
so and now it is winter with snow and cold. I learn to rejoice when the going is good
and hunker down and wait when the going is not so good.
Junior has been side tracked on the kitchen renovation. He has gone to Kingsport twice
this week and to Grundy another day which is a good hour or so from us. With his old
protehis on while he waited for the newer one to be fixed his back his hurting even
more so and that means when he is home he is sitting more.
At present I am walking around things. There is no straight way to anything I want to do
in the kitchen. At one point this would have messed me up bad. With organization else
where in the house I am coping with the dissarry.
I am still using a toaster oven, hot plate, microwave and crock pot. It is not horrible
but sometimes I dream of having a kitchen with all the appliances in and organized so
I can move about and make things easier.
My fur children are near me as I write and a quite peace settles deep inside of me. Life
continues to move along in a rythmic fashion and it feels rather nice. I find myself thanking
God yet again. It is awesome to learn to be thankful in all things.
My struggle with God is fairly much gone. I've asked Him what I needed and received my answer. I
have worked through my doubt and questioning time with God and am thankful that God opened my eyes
so that I understand why He must be the center of all things.
When I first learned that I needed to ask God to forgive me of my sins I found myslef waffling on that
account. I felt beat up enough by life without listing each and every flaw I had. God kept telling me
to list my sins. I held back and finally I gave in and started listing my sins.
One by one I found myself walking away from some very nasty habits. One by one I found my thought life
becoming filled with love, joy and peace. I found that God wasn't wanting to hit me over the head with
my "wrongs" but He wanted me to have a freedom from the things that plagued me.
Through the years I have found moments of hard work. My kids seem distant in many ways. That one hurt but
as I kept taking it to the Lord I found ways to relate to them and I found God was all I truly needed. As
they re-enter my life with less anger I find joy. I learn that life in general is a process. My faith journey
is a process and when I can let the process take place I find myself growing in the Lord.
As I have struggled with God about Him being the center of all things I have felt God's hand of gentleness on
me. He let me ask my questions. He kept saying "just do it." Finally I caved in and "just did it." As I learned
to give my whole being to God more than ever I am finding joy in life where hurt was residing before.
As I look back on the last several years and order once more is part of my life I realize I have been learning
some valuable lessons. I have learned to lean on God a whole bunch, even when it makes no sense. In letting go
of the need to control my life I am finding an ability to "go with the flow". 
I also know that every issue in my life has not been worked out so I will have more things to learn, at times it
will be hard but in the end I will be glad I listened to God.These past few years of working through health issues
one by one has taught me to be a whole lot more patient. I have learned to stay home instead of running at the drop
of a hat.
At one point in my life the running worked. I got tired of fighting in my former marriage so I got over involved with
church, college classes and the like. Each time I was away was one less fight. These days Junior and I are very
comfortable with each other and I don't have to run away to have peace. I learn to enjoy time at home. I learn to
slow down.
In the quiet I am "hearing" God more and my life direction continues to move in different directions. I find a
satisfaction of "me." I like this new feeling. As people left my life I learned to trust God and in that
process I found God to be all that I need. As I learned this I also found other people entering my life and
it is like icing on the cake.
My prayer format is what keeps me focused on God. A- is for accolades. The more I learn to praise God for all
things the more contentment I have. C- confession teaches me to acknowldge those areas that are not right and
I learn to ask for help in over coming those areas. God is faithful and helps me move past these things. T-
thankfullness. I begin to see how much I truly have and I truly don't stay focused on what is missing in my life.
S-supplication, I learn to ask for others. I learn to be concerned about others and not myself. I like this
too. S-service I learn to ask God where He wants me to be and to be content in where God wants me to be.
This format helps me in my faith journey. The cross opens my eyes to the gift we have been given. So each day
I try to read my Bible, pray and focus my whole being on God.
May God bless you and keep you make His face to shine on you
Janet