October 16 2013

October 14 2013 Greetings My Friend, Mindy and Daisy are both glad to see us return from our morning errand runs. Daisy gets so excited that she can hardly contain herself. Mindy is excited but not half a excited as Daisy. I fish out the dog chews we picked up. It helps with Mindy's need to chew my fingers to pieces for a while at least. As we get in and settle into routines the girls come alongside of me since I am writing and being quiet. They like to be beside me. If Junior is being quiet and I am not then they go to Junior. If we take a nap we have instant friends as well. I see on FB another woman my age range who is also a widow has decided that she needs a fur child. I begin to see her comments on the fur child's kissing on her or following her around the house. For me Daisy's excitement upon my return just warms my heart. I also have a "mother's" pride when everyone wants to steal Mindy. She seems to effect every one with her lovableness. It is fun seeing Mindy's specialness on other people's faces. Daisy is well like but she can be a bit stand offish due her poor eye sight. She is not stand offish with me though and frankly I feel very owned by this little girl and I love it. I am reminded of God's love again. Sometimes I feel His presence or hugs and sometimes I realize I am being hugged by something else. It could a hug from Junior, a friend or a little fur child. Being senstive to God's direction and love in my life is a process as well. As I continue on in my faith journey I begin to discern the gifts God is bestowing on me. My fear in the begining of this journey was that I may not end up in heaven. For me though I feel sure of my destiny these days. I begin to look at how my life or even my emotional system is going. I start seeing that I have peace about things in general. If I feel uneasy about a situation I ask God to open my eyes and heart to His will in my life. As I continue to ask to be in God's will I find myself making choices and as I make the choices I find a contentment filling my heart. Sometimes fear tries to rule my thoughts. At first I could not let it go no matter how hard I tried or how hard I prayed. After asking God about an anti-depressant and sensing the go ahead I find that the medication helps me move out of my fear. I have no problems with the medication which often is a problem for me since I am overly sensitive to medications many times. As I move out of my fear I know that I am doing God's will for me. Sometimes I am not sure of God's direction so I ask for a sign. Sometimes I use the Bible's examples and then I can discern God's will. Abraham's slave was sent to his relatives to find Isaac a wife. He prayed and asked God to send a woman to the well he was at, a relative of Abraham's. The woman was to ask him if he needed water and if she could water his animals. That situation happened and the slave kenw this was to be Isaac's wife. Gudieon also was unsure of God's direction when God told him to fight the enemy. Gudieon asked God to make a piece of wool be dry and the ground wet and then he asked for the opposite. God did the request both times and Gudieon knew to go out and fight the enemy. Gudieon also won the battle and again he knew was in God's will. As we moved from MI to VA we kept a constant dialouge with God. Sometimes we asked for reassurance and sometimes we knew we were on the right track by the peace we felt. The same goes for my salvation. I now believe I am headed to heaven by the peace I feel and by the way I sense God is directing my life. I see my life following God's will found in the Bible and again I sense a deep peace. I know that I will fall down from time to time. I also believe with all my heart that God is more interested in my heart attitude than He is in my being perfect. I believe the harder I try to be honest with God even about my flaws the more God loves me. When I fall down I also know that God will direct me back to stable ground. I sense forward movement as I look back on the years since I started on this journey. I am not the woman I was back then.I am a woman who will not let others abuse her anymore and I even have learned to let go of relationships that are not healthy for me to enter into. What is your heart attitude? Would you like God to see it? May God bless you and keep you make His face to shine upon you. Love Janet