September 30 2013

September 28 2013 Greetings My Friend, I am starting a new endeavor in the writing department. I have a week wrote up already so the goal is to get a month ahead like I am on the blog and then I wake up and post the writings. I don’t have to think each time I post because I have thought ahead of time. I am going to try my hand at Twitter. The goal I’ve had all along for retirement is to write. Since we have a decent income I don’t care if I make much money. I do want to share my faith journey and that is the main goal. My cousin is encouraging me to post some quotes from my book and from my blog so we will see where I go with this endeavor. As a writer I have a tendency to want to write something fresh each time I put my thoughts down. That said getting my book more publicity would help me sell more I think. For the longest time I had a hard time going to prayer. The church I attended had us follow along and read something the minister wrote. It was always written so eloquently. I did not feel I had that ability so I did mostly popcorn prayers as needs arose. These days I do pray and I am learning how to pray more than at meals and bedtime. That feels real nice. Going to work part time is fairly much out of the question at this point. With writing I have a sense of doing a job and it is a job I enjoy. These days I do see me as a writer and not a woman playing at writing. It feels good. The last several days the house has had order again since Junior finished his latest project. I am using the cane in the house less. I do still wear shoes as I pad about though. I’d rather pad around bare foot but a few busted up toes later, I wear shoes. Enough is enough. Junior put the little stove looking heater in the fireplace and soon I hope a plug will be nearby so when it is cold I can turn it on. On the mantle and on the stove I have placed candles and I am anxiously waiting for the weather to cool down so I can light all the candles and enjoy the firelight. My porch time this summer has gotten me into the mode of writing, studying and cleaning and it is awesome to me. I take a walk up the hill and back with Daisy in the sling on the way up and her walking home. I also take her out throughout the day and focusing on her needs feels real nice as well. Junior and J went to Johnson City today. He left at 6:00 this morning and frankly it was after 1:00 before I could get to sleep so being up that early isn’t something I can do anymore. It is a real struggle these days so I am happy J went along. Junior gets fairly tired out and J being young loves to drive so it works out real nice. I have finally crossed over from a need to get things done in short spurts of time to working my way through the day. That feels real nice. My house looks my like the house keeping I have done in the past. Junior can still disrupt the flow of the house with his projects but once he is done I am back to doing what I love to do, keeping order. So now I write, keep house, and take care of Daisy and being retired is a blessing. My energy level is not where it once was so being able to move about at a slower pace is real nice. My long bouts of mourning are about over with and I have a tendency to live in the here and now. That also feels real nice. In a few short weeks we will head to Colorado. I am anxious to meet D my cousin. I marvel each time we have a phone chat how similar we are. We never met as kids so to find someone who is so similar to me is a marvel. I am anxious to meet Aunt L as well. She will have stories about Dad. Uncle F talked about Dad and the struggles they went through. Uncle F is gone now but D tells me that he kept a picture of Dad in their bedroom. I feel sad that Dad could not overcome the struggles they had. I loved getting on FB one time and D had sent some pictures of our grandparents, her Dad etc. My sister and D were discussing me and how much I looked like my grandmother. It was funny. I did not know I looked so much like her. Dad took after her as well. Dad was real short like her. Uncle F was tall like their Dad. All of us in Dad’s family are real short. For me those little things are a blessing. I have felt so detached from family throughout my life that knowing some of my roots at this stage feels good. Finding the family quirks is funny as well. My family growing up and apparently my cousins family never shied away from taking a stand, having an opinion and letting others know how we felt. Cousin D and I have been upfront and honest with each other since the first phone call. I love it. We don’t pretend we have perfect families. We are honest but not gossipy. We are praying for each other and again I love it. Most of our phone calls center on our faith journey. She has come into my life at a time I needed a faith partner. Junior is real good but he is a man and at times his thoughts are so manly. I don’t get what he is trying to teach me so D’s female perspective helps a whole lot. As I write I again see my faith is a moment by moment journey and I love it. May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you. Love Janet