August 12, 2013 Greetings My Friend, I am working through some anger right now. It is a 40 min drive to the city where my CPAP supplies are so then it is another 40 minutes back. Every month for the past year I’ve gone in to get my supplies and today the lady tells me I am only due for supplies every 3 months and when I said I’d been in she argued with me. I will transfer my account to one in town which should only be a 20 min. drive…..I’m done! The drive has started to wear on me and I asked if I could have my supplies mailed to me. The same woman was upset saying that they have so many they have to mail out…….so do they want my business? It does not sound like it! Add to my frustration is the fact that I can’t get on line. We picked up a new cable cord when we were in town and got home with it. Junior hooked it up and still no internet. I haven’t uploaded my blog in several days now and I would like to. Once we got home I headed for the deck. I’m out here listening to the birds chatter. The cats are all tired out and sleeping and I find that peace is slowly coming back to me. I went for a short walk up the first killer hill and back….that too is quieting my anger. I pulled the mini trampoline out and jumped on that for a few minutes. When I got back one of the cats is in the middle of it sound asleep. He has another bed…… I called M and she is doing ok. I called baby sister. She had surgery and is out. She is tired and sleepy but doing ok. That feels real nice to hear. We chatted for a bit and then she needed to hang up so she could go back to sleep. Junior is threading the sewing machine needle for me because I can’t see it very well. I hope to start sewing on my quilt after that. Little Sister seems to think that even if I make stitches throughout the quilt I will still have problems due to the tee shirt material. I will find out. The more I sit out here the calmer I am starting to feel. My anger at the home health care people is starting to subside. The nice thing is while we were in town we got cheap Chinese for lunch and yup that hit the spot. I got weighed at the doctor’s recently and I am up a few pounds. I know it is the eating ice cream for dinner doing me in and I try to decide if I will give up ice cream for dinner or not. With Junior, he tends to accept me whatever weight I am. That said I do like looking the best I can for him so I also think he’d appreciate it if I lost the few pounds. We will see. I feel like I’ve made a few more retirement decisions. I found the size clips I can use in my hair and have decided to use them. I have decided on the type of clothing I want to wear for the most part and will start looking for that. On top of clothing choices I am working out a routine with housework that is starting to fill out the week and keep our home nice looking. When I try to spray the bathtub area all over the fumes get to me so I am thinking I will spray one section for 6 days which should cover each area and the smell won’t do me in. Mondays is dusting day and humming bird feeder day. I will even clean the bathroom…..so each day begins to fill in nicely and I love it. The deck roof is now up and yup it is awesome. I am not in the sun and that is real nice. I am sitting outside more and then I head inside to do a little this and a little that and yup it feels real nice. I am writing outside and I love it. It is getting to be late afternoon early evening before I head in to watch TV and that feels real nice. I am slowly starting to decorate the deck. I love being the girl and decorating. I have chairs placed around the deck in a comfortable fashion and plants are out on the deck as well. I feel it is homey outside and I am happy. I love to have a look where a place looks inviting, like take off your shoes a while and relax. That always makes me happy. Again I look around and there are the cats sleeping. They look content with their home and that makes me real happy. The anger I was trying to deal with is fairly much gone now. Thank you Lord Jesus. I’ve asked for help putting these things in the right perspective. God has once more amazed me and my attitude is much more comfortable again. I stop for a moment, listen to the birds chatter, feel the breeze and totally fall in love with my life yet again. I fall in love with the plants on the porch and enjoy the color they bring to the porch. This life out here is so awesome. I love the trees everywhere, the mountains and life here in the middle of nowhere. It is time for me to go clean the bathroom and spray an area in the tub. I will putz around for a bit and then head back outside. I can move slower these days and it affects no one. I love that a lot. Our home looks nice for the most part and I like that feeling as well. Junior will work till it is dark outside and then come in for the evening. We chatted while we drove to town and that too felt good. I am good with the two of us going in our own direction for a few hours now. May God bless you and keep you make His face to shine upon you. Love Janet