June 8, 2013 Greetings My Friend, Once more I feel like I’ve overcome another hurdle with my health and feel a forward movement going on and frankly it feels awesome! I had a set back with winter. The good thing is I have learned to stay home more and not go running around very much. The bad thing is I have stayed in-doors way too much and not gone outside. I haven’t gone for many walks because of cold, snow and ice. In not going outside I have not gotten much sun light and for me it appears that I need the sunlight. When I worked I walked in the parking structure most days thus getting out doors all year long. Since moving to Coeburn I find no reason to take a walk so I don’t. I hate cold, snowy walks to be honest so I don’t. We got an exercise machine and frankly looking outside did not help me stay on the machine long enough as well. Junior set it up so I can watch TV now and I am sure I will stay on it longer in the future. We went to MI a few weeks ago and I thought I’d try a child sized floss machine. It knocked my cap loose so I had to see a dentist. This guy is new to me so I was a bit not so sure. I had a bad experience as a young person that I tend to be a bit edgy when I first go to a dentist. Last year my crown fell out and needed to be replaced. The dentist gave me a shot that sent me reeling. I went back to Michigan and this year we have found another dentist. This guy will work with my fearful ways. When they let me be scared I tend to work at being brave. I asked for a blanket and they had one right there for me to use. I tend to feel safe with a blanket so them having one was icing on the cake. Now we begin a new journey in our new home state. M was out for her yearly visit. This was a real good year for the two of us. Last year M was in the hospital for a few days prior to her coming for a visit. When she was here we did some sightseeing and I wound up blacking out and rolling down a hill. I broke vertebrae and was in the hospital for a few days. I had more energy so we ran more. I loved M walking in our door and her comments about all the changes we’ve made in the past year. She is my gage. She helps me to see all the work that has been done. I find myself not being impatient with Junior because of all the work he has done and not get upset because he isn’t getting more done faster. I know he is working the best he can, given his struggles and all. M is the only person who has been out to see us. Sometimes I am sad that no one from our home state seems interested in visiting us in our new state. It is what it is and we love it here. Momma cat had her babies and they are adorable. If anyone would have said I’d own more than two pets I would not have believed them. At present we have 4 dogs, five cats and 3 baby kittens. The children will go to B who wants a house full of cats again. Her cats all disappeared last year. She loves having many cat friends so our children can start her on her journey. Again I find having a faith journey is awesome. I am letting go of the need to be the “lovable” person that everyone wants in their life. I am good with the fact many find me strange. My main feeling is if God loves me….life is great. God has put Junior and I have together and I marvel at the depth of love we have for each other. I marvel at the friends we have here in VA. My friends from MI are a source of comfort and we strive to visit with them when in town. I am sad my kids grew up in dysfunction. I accept that I gave them the best I had and have decided to move on. If they don’t think I gave them my best well, then I can’t change their thinking. At the dentist today I had the office laughing at my antics. I find great joy in making people laugh. At the stores I tend to get silly and when I get giggles I feel like I’ve made people happy. I am not good at fixing things, helping out on lots of activities but I find if I can pray or make someone laugh I feel special. The laughs help me like me. The laughs make me feel like I matter. As I learn to accept “me” as I am, I find I like me. I find that life is sweet and frankly as long as I feel God’s love I find life is sweet. I also begin to notice that God places me in many loving and caring relationships and again I marvel. I can grieve the dysfunction I grew up in, my children grew up in or I can move on with my life. I have chosen to move on, to learn how to give God all I am. God is my strength my life and my all. The more I give my life to God the more peace I have. Yup life is sweet even if it did not turn out like the picture I made up in my mind. As Junior and I were traveling to the Dentist I again felt his deep love of me…yup life is definitely sweet and VA is beautiful. May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you. Love Janet