April 29, 2013 Greetings My Friend, We are home from our trip to SC and a visit with our friends we love dearly. They are both having health struggles and it hurts to see them struggle so our goal was to come be beside them for a short period of time and then get back to our home. I pray we brought them a measure of comfort. Due to their health struggles they nap most afternoons so Junior and I took off exploring while they slept. We mostly went shopping for various things we needed. It was fun and gave us a diversion for a couple of hours then in the evening we watched TV and frankly it was sweet. I met E as a newly single again woman. We both met the men in our lives at about the same time and we enjoy the friendship a great deal. We were thrilled that the men enjoyed each other. The men tend to work on projects and us girls often will go out shopping….when they feel good that is. As we get older the running around and sight-seeing is not the excitement it used to be. I cherish being close and our talks. We share our struggles and our joys. Their little dog Bella is so friendly and we love on her as well. E and I walk around with Bella each day and I love that. Their house is comfortable. They have made it all their own and have done a marvelous job. Their house feels like home to me when we visit although our styles are both a world apart. She still manages to make it comfortable. I love to feel comfortable when I am in a home and their house does that for me. It has that deep south warm weather climate feel to it. We live more north in the south and our look has taken on a different style. I tend to like old furniture and enjoy that “back in time” feeling. The “back in time feeling” seems to bring out the days where life was not as complicated as they are now feel so I prefer to step back in time. I also realize that life was not easy as well but for some reason that “back in time” feeling brings peace to me. My dream is that people that come into our home have that “put up your feet and sit a spell” feeling. They can let go of the days worries for a bit before reentering into the day to day grind. I have done this for most of my adult life and I still like that feel. My children have said that is the feeling they get when they come into my home. I have also heard from friends they tend to feel that way. Junior and I have blended our styles as well and again people tend to feel comfortable when they enter our house. Junior is a “messy” compared to me although not dirty. He keeps the floors cleaned, the dishes up etc. He does like a pile or two as well. It is the pile or two that I don’t care for but I have learned to accept it and live with it. I did not do this on my own. It has been a lot of talking to God to not change Junior but asking that God teach me to accept Junior’s ways. Junior has also respected my need to not have major piles everywhere. When a pile gets to be a bit much I put it in Junior’s office chair and he puts it away, no complaints. We have truly learned to meld our styles and find that comfortable medium. Junior is so creative and I marvel at his talent. He has renovated this house for the most part and with each finished project I marvel. He tends to see my needs as well, I am short and I can’t reach real high so he makes things for my height. I appreciate that. He has moved the bathroom mirror down so I can see into it. At one point all I could see was my nose. I have commented a time or three that the yard clutter was getting under my skin so he has suspended renovating and has started cleaning up the yard and porches. Again I appreciate that he gets my struggle and does not crictize me for my struggle. We both try to meet each other in the middle and frankly I find that awesome. As my health has declined I find I can’t keep a spotless house anymore. Junior is not upset with me because I can’t do what I once did. I find that my standards have relaxed and frankly our standards are now more compatible with the other one. I like blending the two of our “likes”. Neither one of us is uncomfortable in our home nor frankly that feels awesome. We have truly learned to accept each other and have melded our style into a style that works for both of us. Junior allows me my needs and I have learned to allow Junior his needs and when we do this we both are comfortable. Housework is also a team effort. As my abilities tend to decline Junior comes along side of me and helps me keep things in order. As I come back I begin to take over jobs I once did where I can and I am thankful that Junior has considered my need. He is such a good man. He studies me and gives me what he is able to give me. I study Junior and try to give him what he needs. Junior needs to be alone throughout the day. He does not want to be at my side constantly. Frankly I like a bit of time to do my thing as well. We have found those moments to go off on our own and we share time together as well. We often share what we’ve done on our own time and enjoy the accomplishments we each have made. Once a week we try to go out on a date…..to the show, to a museum or such. I enjoy dressing up for my guy. He is sweet because he will clean up for me as well. Every few months we take off for a trip or a long day trip. I love that too. I love the quiet time in the car, the chats we get into and to me I feel we are drawing closer to each other. I love it. I am even comfortable if no chatter is forthcoming. I have learned to sit in the quiet and enjoy it. What are you doing to make your marriage work? May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you. Love Janet