February 27, 2013 Greetings My Friend, On the way to church today Junior said that he is starting the kitchen. I was shocked but very happy to hear that the kitchen is going to be done in the near future. As he is working on the kitchen he is also working outside on the new porch which will be off of our master bedroom down the road. This porch will also be off the bedroom and means the dogs won’t be able to overpower me with their love etc. There also won’t be puppy chewed up mess to walk through all the time. That is exciting me. Junior has J over helping and soon he should be getting a job so we are trying to use him while we can. So Junior continues to do a few jobs at one time and it continues to be hard for me to see his vision. Still I have learned that Junior will finish what he starts and we will have finished house. So I go in faith that my Man will one day be done and the house will be complete. My mind keeps toying with “it will be done one day”. Junior will do some projects with the idea he will come back and upgrade through the years. We will keep the kitchen sink for now and replace it down the road. The goal is to get our home to a point of done and then go back and upgrade where we can. I think Junior doesn’t mind having work to do for a few more years. He tends to see his “job” as renovating and having things to work on for many years is not bad. I am good with his plan and don’t mind getting most of the stuff done and going back and putting finishing touches on. It works for me. I also see that I will have a real home and then we could go back and get even nicer things down the road. I also see that once the house is more finished I won’t be so in a state of flux that I should be able to keep it clean like the “old” Janet. That excites me because I don’t operate so well in a state of flux. I need order to feel whole and able to function. Going on three years in this home and the state of flux has been rough. The thought of a finished home, well I could be happy with that. Once the kitchen is done then the last room/rooms will be the enclosed porches and a master bedroom. At that point I will finally get a bathtub which I’ve longed for a long time now. I can see me soaking in a deep soaker tub and loving it. I am also anxious to see what Junior will do with the yard. He is so creative and seeing his projects come to fruition is exciting to me. I must say having so many dogs does not help with the looks of the yard. They seem to find something to chew on and our yard is often littered with dolls, toys and the like. Again down the road having a porch where we enter from our bedroom and no dogs can come out there on their own appeals to me. I hope to put a small fridge and a coffee pot near the porch would be awesome because I could get up, have breakfast outside with no friends to help litter up the porch. I also see me with my laptop out on the porch writing. The dreams still come and that is exciting to me. Instead of dreaming about a new house these days my dreams center on the next project. For the first time in my life I am not dreaming about the “next” house. Because it will take years I don’t think I will ever want to move again which again excites me. I continue to love the area and the house we have moved to. It is beautiful. The weather suits both Junior and I which is weird since I’d rather be in warm weather and Junior likes winter. The average winter temperature is 40 degrees. I can live with that. When it snows out here the snow is gone within a couple of days. Again that is good. As we see the end in sight I also my health seems to be coming under control. I will have health struggles like using a cane for the rest of my life but I am good with that. My sleep is way better. My emotions are on the upswing. I have not had to deal with the Ex in years now. He shows up in small ways like on FB in pictures, comments to the son but over all I am finally feeling free from the past. My counselor told me that I handled the last upset fairly well and I should realize that I will more than likely run into these situations through the years. With us in another state and no more family gatherings at least for a while I am able to finally feel at peace. I also see that if there is a time where we are at a gathering I will more than likely ask him to move on. If he wants to make me look bad, I can leave. For the first time I don’t feel a victim to his antics. I have wanted to not make a scene for our children’s sake and at this point I no longer worry about it. It is hard for me to see an end to all our work but I am very excited for that day. We will travel, I will write maybe another book, my blog and life settles into a comfortable retirement. I am hoping to meet a cousin I have yet to meet. I met her on the phone and I am anxious for our retirement to move forward. Again I see my faith journey has brought me to this day. I will have more struggles I am sure. Having God in my life gives me the courage to face whatever comes my way. May God bless you and keep, make His face to shine upon you. Love Janet