August 25, 2012 Greetings My Friend, I have been thinking about romance within our marriage. When we were first married we loved doing the man wife thing and did it every opportunity we could find. As we have been married and life has happened well that intensity has slowed way down. We enjoy each other a whole lot but again life happens and the romantic interludes tend to not be as frequent. I have started wearing a CPAP machine at night. It is helping me sleep all night long and frankly after the last many years of such sporadic sleep it feels wonderful. I feel like a martin with this gadget on though. I definitely don’t feel attractive with it on. My Junior has a way of making me feel beautiful anyway. I am so grateful that he is not turned off and won’t come near. He says over and over that he wants my best and if I need it then that is what he wants for me. He still touches me like a woman and draws near. Our man/woman equipment isn’t what it used to be. We can’t do what we once did…the equipment doesn’t do like it used to. These days cuddling feels extra nice. Junior still touches me like I’m a girl with girl parts and well frankly that feels wonderful to me. It is part of the aging process and we accept it. I still love Junior and I sense his love for me. Our love these days is more of a companionship type of love and that is ok. We enjoy running around and doing together. We love going to church together. We do a whole lot more things together these days. It costs too much for each of us to run our separate directions so we run together and frankly I find that to be rather nice. At this point I can’t drive yet due to the black outs so Junior has to run me when I need to do things. Again, I love being with him more. I guess that love in our older years is changing from that intense romance to a more companionship type of love and again that is wonderful. I love making out these days. I love that he wants to touch me and his touches are always so sweet. In a prior life touch hurt too much and now well I love being touched. As I read the Bible I tend to think that this life is in preparation for life after death. We can choose the type of life. If we accept Jesus as our Savior then I believe heaven is waiting for us and if we don’t we have hell waiting for us. Jesus tells us that in heaven we won’t be marrying so the need for procreation won’t be necessary. My thoughts of late are that the last part of our lives is less romantic because it will not be necessary in heaven and we begin to change for that time frame. I don’t know if I am right or not but this is the sense I get. As we are married now for 14 years I marvel that my feelings for Junior are deeper and stronger than when we were first together. I did not feel that way in a previous life. I never felt closer to the man the longer I was married in fact I tended to keep pulling further and further away. So this is a marvel to be deeper in love now. I believe in my heart that God is teaching me to be the wife Junior needs. I ask God daily pretty much to teach me to be what Junior needs. One of the prayers I am grateful for learning is asking God to open my eyes and heart to Junior. As he was in the midst of his curbside shopping phase I started praying that. I knew that if I kept seeing Junior with “human” eyes I would resent him and become very uninterested in him. God opened my eyes to see Junior’s very tender heart and that has been a most wonderful thing to love. Junior has a heart for the poor. We don’t generally give money to the poor. In my thinking that many times the poor tend to take advantage of money and feel that if you have then you owe them. When we help the poor we know we try have them help us and pay them, we give them of our belongings, we may even give them food but we generally won’t give money. We soon learn if they are in the need they tell us they are or if all they want is money. We have both known deep poorness in our lives. There were times that food was scarce and money hard to come by. We tend to want to reach back and help when we can. We also have worked hard to be where we are today so giving all our money away isn’t something we want to do. For me marriage to Junior is sweet and wonderful. He is someone who shares the ups and downs of life with. He is someone who enjoys me for being me. We can’t be what we once were and well that is ok. He is the one who is with me as we try to find out what is going on in my body. I am not alone in all the scary moments and that is sweet. I don’t know how many nights I am thanking God for Junior who is beside me. I love hearing him chatter in his sleep about how he loves me. I love his arm draped over me and I feel that I am His woman. Junior has always been a leg man. My legs are ok, not bad. With me though Junior loves another body part, not the female thing either and he constantly comments on it. That always touches my heart. I am finding that the romance is nice and we enjoyed it but now well the companionship is just as nice these days. May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you. Love Janet