May 30, 2012 Greetings My Friend, As we celebrated Memorial Day I have thought much about the sacrifice the military gives so we can have BBQ’s go to the beach or whatever. As a young person I believed that people who fought in wars were prone to violence. As I have been married to Junior I have learned the genuine love the military has for our country overall. I have been treated so well by this man and I marvel at how strong he is and how tender he can be. War does not mean the military comes home and is aggressive and violent. The longer I read my Bible I also realize that “wars will always be with us.” I wish humanity could get along with each other and let us live in freedom. We don’t and won’t till the rapture. So I believe that the military is important. As I read the Bible I see where God set up the guidelines for Israel as they became a nation. God had His people go to war over and over. God also had the people stoned to death. God taught that some people won’t learn and the community would be better with people put to death. This has been a huge struggle for me. I fear putting the innocent people to death and so for a good portion of my life I did not believe in the death sentence. The way I see it is that if we allow certain people to live then we can expect that their sin will grow within the community. If they were put to death that sin would not continue to grow and another generation may not repeat the sin. As I read I find that God wanted His people to eat bread at certain times without yeast. It took me a while but I learned the symbolism associated with yeast. Yeast makes the dough rise. Sin left unattended tends to rise within a community like it does in the dough. If the yeast is not allowed to rise in the dough then it won’t keep raising. The same with sin within the community and there are certain sins that wreaks havoc on the community. By getting rid of the dough or sinners then the sin can’t continue. It seems drastic and yet when I listen to God I find He does know what He is doing. Another confusing statement has been God will love the families that love Him for generations. God also will not love some generations to the fourth or fifth generation. I have learned through the years that when one generation sins the next one will go even further. I see that when the Israelite’s split up that the people in Israel worshiped false God’s. That community kept getting worse and worse and it took generations for the people to come back to God. My goal is to love God first and foremost. In God I learn what love truly looks like. I am an enabler by nature so I allow sin to continue on for much too long. I think I am being kind by overlooking problems. I have found the more I overlook the problem the worse it gets. When I address the problem straight on then the problem tends to go away. More often than not these days I tend to let God guide me in most of the relationships I have (well all of them). If I would have stopped the man from beating on me right from the start, I would not have lived with abuse for 20 some years. I tried to understand the struggle that went through this man’s mind. I believe as I look back if I would have walked away the first time, there would not have been a 2nd time. God had to teach me when to have compassion. I will always enable someone to stay in dysfunction. At this point when I struggle I begin to ask God what I should do. God is faithful and will guide me. I think that is why my marriage is working. I take my marriage to prayer pretty much daily. I read my Bible pretty much daily. In all that I find how to do life. As I take my life to God I find that God will teach me. I have learned to not allow abuse in my life. I did not know what a life without abuse looked like prior to my faith journey. God now shows me when I need to walk away from certain people. I find I need to be talking to God pretty much daily and reading my Bible. With each reading I also ask God to teach me the lessons I need to learn. I have to rid myself of the way I think in the flesh. I need to think God’s way. I even was uncomfortable with taking Prozac. I prayed a long time before I went on Prozac. We prayed and felt God told us to move to Virginia. It doesn’t make sense at times but when I open my heart and do what I hear God telling me, my life goes so much better. So I prayed and felt that I needed the Prozac. I felt that God gave me the Prozac by the way I feel now. I have had no problems with the drug. I often have reactions to drugs so I was l scared. I also feel more whole and able to move through life now. The same thing with our move to Virginia, it did not make sense in the natural. We prayed over and over and kept being told to move. We did. I believe we are where God wants us to be by the comfort I have here. Our home is the most comfortable house I have ever lived in. The people out here get us. I don’t have to explain Junior. They get Junior’s personality. I love that. So we are attempting to do and live how we feel led by God. Have you tried a faith journey? Is it time? May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you. Love Janet