January 21, 2012 Greetings My Friend I am thinking about friends today. As I write we are in Myrtle Beach visiting good friends. I met E when I was single and we both met our husbands a about the same time. We married within a year of each other so have gone through much of life together. I met E as a single woman in the single’s group at church. We went to the Labor Day weekend at Mackinaw Bridge together. We had such fun riding up to the bridge on the bus talking and then sleeping in the cabin together at night. We shared the sting of abuse hers was more mental abuse and our friendship has grown through the years as we went from being single to re-married women. It is wonderful that our men enjoy each other as well. V is able to make Junior giggle non-stop. They are active and like going out to eat, to the show, to the gym for water aerobics and shopping. We like that a bunch as well. As I think about our friendship I think about K and M these two women I have known since my days of Sunday school as a child. They have been close friends who have weathered the storms of life with me. There is MB from work that I still am in contact with. These long time friendships have held me when life was awful. They also are the breath of fresh air who will laugh with me when life is good. P is also a friend I have enjoyed more fully since moving to VA. As I write I keep thinking of that one more friend I have and it warms my heart to feel each one of them again. I think life would be so hard if I did not have friends. These friends have stepped in when my family had little or nothing to do with me. They have made me feel liked and wanted when I have felt so unwanted. Because of their love I find that I can go on when I’d rather not. At this stage of my life I believe my friends have been given to me by God. I seem to meet them when I need them or they need me. We seem to go beyond the one time chat and develop into a deep love for each other. B has let me reach out to her and in the process we have become coconspirators in silliness. I’ve been taking her to the cancer center now for a few weeks. She stays at our house during the week so I can take her for treatments. While she is there she helps me with some of the housework. She is helping me get back into the routines I have been struggling with. I help her by taking her for radiation. We have chats and some of the chats help me process life. It is the friends that truly help make my life enjoyable. MB comes to mind again. We worked with each other for 10 years. We often chatted and she took my side when a co-worker decided to yell at me and throw things on my desk. She sat on the other side of the wall and heard what was going on. She would let me know I did nothing wrong when I was struggling to deal with the anger. I was paralyzed with worry/fear. MB brought up that she heard the whole thing and then comforted me. Little did I know that in a few years I would be the one to comfort her? P’s Dad is still alive. He feels like the father Junior did not have. Dad talks to Junior in a Dad kind of way. So P shares her Dad and that gives Junior that Dad moment. Through the years I have had women step in and fill the gap for my mom as well. Mom had to work due to Dad’s polio. There have been a few women in my life who nurtured me the way I need to be loved on. They gave me the love I needed when my own Mom had to tend to keep the family together. Friends sometimes give us what family can’t for whatever the reason. I am grateful for friends. In recent years as I have struggled and needed to talk I have called friends. I have called different ones at different times so I would not wear one out. It was so helpful to me and each person was able to open my eyes to what I needed to learn. It was awesome. V & E are a few years older than I am. E is teaching me the struggles with health she has and as I reach the health struggles I find her comments helpful. Junior has dealt with pain for most of his life due to his amputation and back issues. For me I have not had a lot of physical pain and as I am developing arthritis in my neck I find that the pain can be unbearable. E has taught me “that getting old is not for sissies.” I realize that as I age I will have health struggles and I learn how to cope through those struggles because of her silly comment. B also has health struggles and I have learned to do what I can when I can from her. E my former landlord taught me that if I do 5 minutes of work that was 5 minutes more than was done previously. I learn to work when I can and be content in that. I find I have more patience with myself because these friends have taught me to accept what I can do. So I am going to soak up V & E’s love while we are here. I am going to tell jokes and we will always enter into a discussion on our faith. I grow and I love it. May God bless you and keep you, make his face to shine upon you. Love Janet