March 5, 2010

Greetings My Friend,

As I write it is snowing…Yuck! Fifty plus years of winters….I’ve seen enough, had enough….I’m ready to be a snowbird. I put my thoughts about winter out on Facebook as well. I want the world to know my disdain for the white stuff, the cold, the ice the whole kit and caboodle. I got a response back about how I should be grateful for another day to be Junior’s wife, our cat’s Mom stuff like that.

I also keep thinking about Paul’s teaching about being content in all things. Another thought I have is “in sickness and in health, in good times and bad.” My brain starts to think, “ok, ok, I get it.” I need to be content, to count my blessings, stuff like that.

The economy has been bad for quite a while now. The housing market hasn’t been great either. We still have our house in MI and have found a renter but we more than likely will lose a small bundle when we do sell because the market isn’t bouncing back. I know of people who have taken major pay decreases and it hurts to no end. I know of other’s who lost their job and can’t find another one.

Death has visited my family, real close to home and that hurts. We have lost some good friends in the last few years to death’s door. I know of an old friend who is struggling through cancer and my prayers are with her. Add in the ups and downs of everyday life and soon it gets hard to see what you do have.

So how can I be content in all things? How can I walk with God in good times and bad? It is strange but a thankful heart is always helpful. Each day I try to thank God for all that I have. Our poor in this county have so much more than a whole lot of others around the world. We lose sight of that often. God has taught me that He will give me what I need. When I break that down to what I need, I begin to see how much I do have. Wow! I have heat in the winter. I have a place to stay dry, warm and lay my head down at night. I have food to eat each and every day. Add to that a bed to sleep on, blankets to cover up with, and running water. At this point I begin to see that I have a whole lot of wonderful things.

Giving comes to mind also. In the process of learning to give of my time, my talent and my money, I find contentment as well. When I am giving, I am not focused on what I don’t have. I am reaching outside of myself and focusing on others. Sometimes I see that my life isn’t as bad as another’s life is. Sometimes I learn a new skill and am amazed at what I am capable of doing. When I helped schedule speakers for the Remarried workshops, I learned a valuable lesson. As a youth advisor for many years, I found many new skills. Writing a newsletter for the remarrieds taught me how to be confident in writing. Giving is so good for us.

Sometimes I pray for people and to be honest I have found a lot of healing there as well. When I first married Junior he insisted I pray for my ex. That was a tough moment for me. I did though and am ever grateful that I learned to do that. Today I can say that I don’t hate the man, I want his best. I still don’t want to be his best friend, but I don’t want harm to come to him either. As people have chosen to leave me, I have continued to pray for them. If the day comes and there is reconciliation then I won’t have bitterness in my spirit either. Prayer also teaches me to focus outside of myself as well.

Praising God also helps me to be content. I begin to see that He is always there and is waiting for me to come to Him. I learned with Junior to write him notes most days. In those notes I focus on his qualities I admire. The more I focus on his good qualities, the less I see his faults. They are there. I chose to see his good though. With God, I learn to see how God is always present, always ready to hold me, help me, and seek my highest good. When I go to God and cry “I’m hurting” I find peace, safety and love. Sometimes God puts people in my path that help me on my journey through life. He’s given me friends some of whom have been with me for decades now.

I have to say that confession has helped me a ton as well. I remember that for the longest time I would justify my pain, anger etc. In that I did not find peace. I found more pain. As I learned to name my sin, ask for forgiveness I began to walk away from a lot of my pain in life. For some reason we can’t heal until we name the problem. Once we give it a name, then we can begin to let go. I have also found that I have people in my life that I struggle to understand. There is that underlying tension and I don’t know how to move past it at times. I have learned to bring them to God as well. As I do, it is at that point that I can begin to move past that struggle. Sometimes it is only in my heart and sometimes a broken relationship is healed. If it is only in my heart….well I’m not dwelling on the struggle and that has a peace to it.

As I close, I’d like to ask you to find the hope I have. My hope is in Jesus.

May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.

Love
Janet