February 12, 2011

Greetings My Friend,

Today I am pondering the cross. As I have gone on in my faith journey, I tend to find myself focused on things and then new lessons seem to come to me. As I learned to really pray, I felt God saying to me “look at the cross.” For me my faith journey really began in earnest at the cross. I had wanted to avoid the cross. It was awful to see in my mind’s eye the horror of what our Savior endured.

At the cross, I saw immense physical pain. Actually before Jesus went to the cross, He endured pain beyond belief. He was scourged. That means He was given lashes with a whip. The whip had bone fragments and glass chards tied to the whip. Not only was His back tore up with the whip, it was tore up more due to the glass and bone tied to it. Part of his backbone may have even shown through.

At this point I realize that our Savior endured emotional pain. He was hung up naked for the entire world to see. The disciples had run off. He was made fun of “If you are really God, then come down from that cross,” type of sayings. The soldiers gambled for His clothes, while He was hanging on the cross. Our Savior endured so much pain both physical and emotional. He saw His mother watching Him die, not easy to see for sure. She was crying, her child was up there.

After our Savior was scourged, He was mocked. That wasn’t just name calling and shoving alone. The crown of thorns were forcefully placed on His head, not to just set up there gently, but pushed down into His scalp. I saw a painting one time where blood was dripping into His eyes, that means His eyes stung with the salt from the blood. They dressed Him in purple robes, a sign of royalty. Then they made fun of Him. The cruel remarks about Him being Savior and saving Himself were plentiful. The soldiers then took a rod, I believe it was a steal rod and hit Jesus on the face. The Bible says He was disfigured. That to me means His face was swollen profoundly. I want to cry. Jesus is weak at this point. The soldiers made Him carry His cross. He fell and another man was forced to carry it for Him.

On the hill, Jesus is then nailed to the cross. I wince with the thought of nails being pounded into His flesh. At this point our Savior struggles to breathe. He struggles with a pulling up to get air into His lungs, falling back down to the original position for the rest of His life. He can only get air when He pulls Himself up. As He runs out of air, He then pulls up again. I also realize that His back is so very tender and the boards are not soft on His back and again I want to cry.

Lately, I marvel at the compassion our Savior still had. Me, I’d want to curl up in a ball and cry. Thoughts for others would be far from my mind. One of the first things Jesus did was pray, “Father forgive them for they know not what they do.” Next He gives Mary to John to go live with him. He took care of His mother. Lastly He tells the thief he will be in paradise with Him. He does all that while trying to breathe.

At this point I begin to see what hell is. I see that if I had not accepted Jesus’ death confessed my sins and began to allow the Holy Spirit to guide me, change me and that is what eternity would be pain, more pain and still more pain. So as I see in my mind’s eye once more, I find myself rejoicing when I see Jesus has conquered the grave.

At the cross, I learn compassion, grace and mercy. I find myself desiring to change, to accept people where they are at. It doesn’t mean that I allow people to walk on me for the sake of being mean. Jesus often told the Pharisees what He thought, bluntly and without apology. He threw out the money lenders etc in the temple when they were trying to gouge the people for the animals that were to be sacrificed.

One of the things I marvel at is Jesus accepted the lowest of low people. He loved prostitutes, lepers and the like. He gave them hope. Mary, the one who came and dumped expensive perfume on Jesus, then cleaned His feet with her tears, was a prostitute. The woman at the well was married to 5 men and the sixth she just lived with. The ones with no hope, accepted Jesus’ teachings, changed their lives and are more than likely in heaven, while the teachers and the ones who looked respectable and were not really, I shudder to think where they are at. Again I hear the teaching about the cup. The inside is clean while the outside is dirty teaching. I hear that we must be changed from the inside to the out and not fake a clean heart.

I have a deep desire to love as I have been loved by God. I have a deep desire to accept people who are way different than me. I have a need to be in prayer a whole bunch. Prayer teaches me to open my heart to those who are strange to me. My once very critical nature is changing. I realize at the cross that I am a sinner and that “God so loved the world that He sent His only begotten Son, that whoever shall believe in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.”

As I once more walk out of immense emotional pain, I realize again that I am loved and it really doesn’t matter if others don’t like me. God does. I have a renewed urgency to go forth and spread the Good News….Jesus loves the lost, the lonely and the unlovable. How do I do it? For me, it is writing this blog, my book, being a friendly face when I see hurt in someone’s eyes and being a friend to whomever God sends my way. Being with the “cool” crowd is no longer important.

Jesus told the disciples to go out and give the Good News. If they were not accepted, then they were to dust the dirt off their feet and move on. The lesson for me is that people won’t like me, I talk too much, I am hyper, I repeat myself AND that is ok.

Won’t you consider the cross?

May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.

Love
Janet