June 5, 2010
Greetings My Friend,
I meet people who believe that because you are a Christian you automatically are “whole or right with God or even perfect.” It aint so. Being a Christian is a day to day walk. We grow from where we were when we first invited Jesus into our hearts. Sometimes we fall backwards and need to start over again. That’s the beauty of loving God. He knows how we are and that we need an assist as we go through life.

The main thing is we need to admit that we are sinners, flat out admit, which for me was a struggle. I justified my bad behavior. I blamed a bad childhood, an unhappy marriage etc. for all my faults. I had a hard time admitting that I contributed to problems in my life. I had a hard time admitting that I may even be the culprit that allowed struggles to enter and stay in my life.
As I have learned to give God my heart, I have found a love so deep and so wide that it amazes me. Sometimes I liken it to living water. Living water is not stagnant. It is continually moving and being refreshed. As I fall down in my walk, I am able to take my heart to the cross. I nail my struggle to that cross. As I give my struggle to the cross, I often find a way out of my bad behavior and soon peace floods me. Wow!!!
I am not the woman I was 13 years ago as I began to open my heart to Jesus. I was newly divorced, devastated and so sad. I at times wasn’t sure how I would go on. Face the people at work, at church as a divorced woman. As I opened my heart to God, I found myself entering new things. I was in counseling. I found Divorce Recovery. I was finding friends, slowly I was learning, I was not alone.
I liked that “I am not alone” feeling. The “I am not alone feeling” translates in to love for me. I finally had the attention I so desperately needed. The more attention I got from God, the more I learned to move outside of myself.
As I have walked with God and found that I could live in His love, I began to have a desire to love, even if love hurt from time to time. I am learning to Agape love others. The Greeks have several words that explain love. I am not good at all of this, but I will try. There is Philo love which is brotherly love. There is Eros love which is a sexual love. There is Agape love which is seeking the highest good for a person. There is one or two more, I’ve forgotten them. You get the idea.
When I am seeking another’s highest good, I find a wonderful sense of peace, joy deep in my heart. As I have let go of strongholds in my life, I find that I also want to reach outside of myself. When I have a stronghold going on in my life, I tend to dwell on that. I am hung up on “me” and I think about “me” and then I lose sight of the world around me.
My Dad’s polio taught me a few things, one of them being that someone always has life a little rougher than you. Junior’s growing up was crazier than mine. I marvel that our lives have so many similarities. Sometimes I think we are able to relate so well, is that we’ve walked a lot of the same roads. Still, I believe in my heart that as crazy as my childhood was, Junior’s was even wilder.
I believe we both reach a spot in our hearts for the other one. I believe we are able to move past the “past” because of Jesus. As we have learned to “let go, let God,” we’ve been able to overcome and to love. Our marriage is a comfortable friendship. We try to go to God first before each other. It seems the more I open my heart to God, the more I feel His love and then I am able to reach out and love as I am loved.
Now in the last few years I’ve struggled greatly with some relationships within my life. I hurt extremely badly. Many times God has hugged me so wonderfully. It was the porch, the time as I prayed and He told me to look up. I felt His hand lift my chin and Him talk to my eyes.
In my “other life” as I often tell people, I would get stuck and could not find a way past the pain. I’d curl up in the house, bed and try to “run” from the pain. With God, I am learning to look at that pain square in the face and when I am able to do that, I find myself moving forward, my chin up and facing life. Do I hurt, yes I do. With Jesus as my friend though, I am able to move through a whole lot.
As I have struggled in some of these relationship issues, I found myself going “backwards,” at times. I would revert to old behaviors. I wanted to beg and plead to be loved. It doesn’t work. It even makes those you are trying to reach angry.
God is so faithful. If I go to Him and ask for help, God provides. Sometimes Junior gives me one of his wonderful Junior hugs. Sometimes it is girlfriends to call. Sometimes it is a talk with a professional. Sometimes God takes me to the front porch and has me sit. It amazes me, how I find the help I need and the strength to move through life.
Again, I believe that being a Christian is a journey, one where you won’t arrive until heaven. It is a day to day, minute to minute way of life. Once you pray the sinner’s prayer does not mean you are made perfect. It does mean that each step brings you closer to that perfection. It is a process, a wonderful road to travel on. Jesus is the goal. He came in the flesh and taught us. He taught us from the Bible, the Old Testament and the New Testament teaches us “life” in Jesus.
So if you meet a Christian who isn’t perfect, please understand that they are on a precious journey and yes they may “sin” still life is better with Jesus than without Him.
What journey are you on? Have you thought about a walk with Jesus?
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet