June 19, 2010
Greetings My Friend,
As I write this I am in MI, dealing with a cold and feeling very contemplative. I had a phrase bomb hit me again. My friend S calls them Bus Driver issues, whatever I am pondering something from my past that I have dealt with through the years. The phrase goes something like this, “I get over my mad quickly and move on.”
When I hear this statement, I am transported back in time. I am amazed at how quickly I can be sent back to another time. People will tell me this statement like it is a good thing. I usually don’t see it that way. I usually want to respond, “what about what was said to the other person.” I wonder if people who “get over” their mad understand that “what was said” may have wrecked havoc on the other person. Just because they have moved on I wonder if they realize that the other person may not have.
A while back a person felt the need to “set me straight.” They wrote not nice things about me, called me “warped,” stuff like that. Another part of this struggle is how to interact with those that have a need to “set you straight” when I am still stinging from harsh words And they have moved on And I haven’t. As I write I try hard to not mention names. I try hard to dig through the layers of life. We all live life and I may be the weirdest thing since sliced cheese, but you know what, I’m still human. As I share on this blog, my dream is to “help” to “point” people to the most wonderful gift that enables us to live this confusing thing called life. This gift of course is Jesus.
We know what we know. My life style is confusing to some people. To me though, it is what I know. As a Christian, I strive to open my heart to “every” type of person. Sometimes I “get it” and sometimes I don’t. My heart instantly goes out to women who struggle with abuse. I know it, understand it and I “feel” along with them. I’m not as adept with a “street” type person. I try, but I truly “don’t get it.”
So, just because I’ve never been a street person, does that mean, I’m better than them? I don’t think so. I don’t believe it gives me the right to talk down, to be rude or to feel superior, just because I’ve never been a street person.
Each year as I read through the Bible, I find that God tends to teach me. God has a heart for people. He wants us to reach out, to love, to help people live life. That’s the biggest lesson, I “hear.” God often admonishes us to reach the lost, the lonely, the hurting, the orphan and the widow.
I find one of the most comforting phrases in the Bible is “For God first loved us.” Through the years, that has helped me so much. As I have stated before, I have spent a life time of trying to find love. As I have gotten older, walked with the Lord, I’ve realized that I have felt unwanted a whole lot. With God’s love, I find that each day is precious and sweet.
I’m thinking about Agape love again. Learning how to Agape love has been precious to me. As I strive to seek another’s highest good, I find a peace seeping deep into my soul. So, if I find someone who is foreign to me, I am able to still love, because I am seeking their highest good. I also don’t try to over compensate either. In my heart, I have a tendency to “be the nice guy” at any cost. In the past I have “prostituted” myself just to get a little love. God isn’t calling me to do that either. That is a comfort too.
At this point, my thoughts are: Is it time to have an attitude adjustment? Is it time to look differently at someone in your life and to treat them better?
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.

Love
Janet