June 26, 2010
Greetings My Friend,
Today I am feeling grief. Missy our baby kitten we found on a porch down here died. Part of me is walling it off so I won’t feel the pain and part of me is remembering those precious moments we have shared. She loved curling up on my lap. When she first came to live with us she was so feisty. Alex our oldest cat was like that when he was little. He was into everything.
Missy has had us concerned for some time. She would lose weight. You could feel all her bones. She would choke when she ate. We kept taking her to the vet and he would give her antibiotics. She would perk up and then she was struggling again. This last time we felt she might overcome because we saw her playing like she used too. The vet said she had a virus, was probably born with it. He felt she should be able to overcome it.
As I sit here thinking, I also remember other times of grief, times where close family members died. Grief does that, it seems to bring back other moments. The hardest grief was when my nephew died. He was 12. It is so hard to lose a child, harder still when he goes to a school retreat weekend and never comes home. We had so much anger, all of us. For me I never wanted another family to experience that. I tried to go to the school and have better methods of watching out for the children implemented.
I was attending a church and our Minister committed suicide. Again that was hard. Our spiritual leader, a man many looked up to killed himself. As we waded through the events, our emotions, we learned that he had struggled as a young man. Our church was going through a period of change. He tried to do it all and became over whelmed and……
Ten months after my nephew died, Dad died. He had bladder cancer. It was hard to diagnose because of Dad’s polio. We as a family came together and Dad was able to stay home. We took turns helping Mom. Mom was still working so my sister-in-law came by during the day. My siblings and I took turns after work. Even my daughter took turns with Grandpa. Those last months with Dad were precious. We had talks. Dad was open to talking. We sat quietly. Dad helped us as much as we helped him. I was with Dad in his final moments. I was helping clean him up. He was in my arms and he died.
Next I remember Grandma. Grandma was my port in the storm. She was my comfort when life was out of control crazy. When my son was little, he was hyper, he had trouble hearing and I struggled trying to figure out all the intricacies of his problems. He was allergic to different foods. He had trouble seeing. As I tried to weed through his problems, Grandma was there. We drank tea and ate cheese curls in her kitchen. We talked. We went for walks – I get my love of walking from Grandma.
The day Grandma died was really the final unraveling of my first marriage. The three days of her wake were a night mare and at this point a blur. Suffice it to say that I struggled to get through each moment and feel safe. My tears were mainly fear for my life and not for her passing. At some point I realized that I had not really said “good-bye” to Grandma. She was gone. I was trying to learn how to be single. I was trying to live life at the most basic level.
Mom, hers was hard too. Mom, one of the care givers said one time, “it is hard to suffer the wrath of Gertrude.” When the end was inevitable Mom said, “Give me a pill and let me sleep till it’s over.” Mom did not give us a chance to say good-bye, to have our last words. She did not let us in on her final moments.
As I look back on grief, I find that I haven’t learned how to grieve. Part of me tries to not feel it. Part of me has spent time trying to cope with day to day life and grief was not a luxury I could give into. To be honest, there are times I feel relief and that makes me sad as well. With the passing I find relief, because I won’t have to “perform”, be perfect and of course there won’t be any more arguments. Again, I feel sad because I feel relief instead of sadness.
The hole is dug. Junior just picked her up and carried her ever so lovingly outside. I say good-bye and a few tears try to come. I sat here writing with her in front of me. I was frozen in place. Missy has loved me these last months when life was a jumble of emotions. She sat on my lap letting me pet her head, her body hurt to be petted. My heart again says good-bye and now I must get up and go into the day.
Thank you Missy for choosing us, for loving us and being the precious baby you were. We love you.
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Friday, June 25, 2010
Friday, June 18, 2010
June 19, 2010
Greetings My Friend,
As I write this I am in MI, dealing with a cold and feeling very contemplative. I had a phrase bomb hit me again. My friend S calls them Bus Driver issues, whatever I am pondering something from my past that I have dealt with through the years. The phrase goes something like this, “I get over my mad quickly and move on.”
When I hear this statement, I am transported back in time. I am amazed at how quickly I can be sent back to another time. People will tell me this statement like it is a good thing. I usually don’t see it that way. I usually want to respond, “what about what was said to the other person.” I wonder if people who “get over” their mad understand that “what was said” may have wrecked havoc on the other person. Just because they have moved on I wonder if they realize that the other person may not have.
A while back a person felt the need to “set me straight.” They wrote not nice things about me, called me “warped,” stuff like that. Another part of this struggle is how to interact with those that have a need to “set you straight” when I am still stinging from harsh words And they have moved on And I haven’t. As I write I try hard to not mention names. I try hard to dig through the layers of life. We all live life and I may be the weirdest thing since sliced cheese, but you know what, I’m still human. As I share on this blog, my dream is to “help” to “point” people to the most wonderful gift that enables us to live this confusing thing called life. This gift of course is Jesus.
We know what we know. My life style is confusing to some people. To me though, it is what I know. As a Christian, I strive to open my heart to “every” type of person. Sometimes I “get it” and sometimes I don’t. My heart instantly goes out to women who struggle with abuse. I know it, understand it and I “feel” along with them. I’m not as adept with a “street” type person. I try, but I truly “don’t get it.”
So, just because I’ve never been a street person, does that mean, I’m better than them? I don’t think so. I don’t believe it gives me the right to talk down, to be rude or to feel superior, just because I’ve never been a street person.
Each year as I read through the Bible, I find that God tends to teach me. God has a heart for people. He wants us to reach out, to love, to help people live life. That’s the biggest lesson, I “hear.” God often admonishes us to reach the lost, the lonely, the hurting, the orphan and the widow.
I find one of the most comforting phrases in the Bible is “For God first loved us.” Through the years, that has helped me so much. As I have stated before, I have spent a life time of trying to find love. As I have gotten older, walked with the Lord, I’ve realized that I have felt unwanted a whole lot. With God’s love, I find that each day is precious and sweet.
I’m thinking about Agape love again. Learning how to Agape love has been precious to me. As I strive to seek another’s highest good, I find a peace seeping deep into my soul. So, if I find someone who is foreign to me, I am able to still love, because I am seeking their highest good. I also don’t try to over compensate either. In my heart, I have a tendency to “be the nice guy” at any cost. In the past I have “prostituted” myself just to get a little love. God isn’t calling me to do that either. That is a comfort too.
At this point, my thoughts are: Is it time to have an attitude adjustment? Is it time to look differently at someone in your life and to treat them better?
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Greetings My Friend,
As I write this I am in MI, dealing with a cold and feeling very contemplative. I had a phrase bomb hit me again. My friend S calls them Bus Driver issues, whatever I am pondering something from my past that I have dealt with through the years. The phrase goes something like this, “I get over my mad quickly and move on.”
When I hear this statement, I am transported back in time. I am amazed at how quickly I can be sent back to another time. People will tell me this statement like it is a good thing. I usually don’t see it that way. I usually want to respond, “what about what was said to the other person.” I wonder if people who “get over” their mad understand that “what was said” may have wrecked havoc on the other person. Just because they have moved on I wonder if they realize that the other person may not have.
A while back a person felt the need to “set me straight.” They wrote not nice things about me, called me “warped,” stuff like that. Another part of this struggle is how to interact with those that have a need to “set you straight” when I am still stinging from harsh words And they have moved on And I haven’t. As I write I try hard to not mention names. I try hard to dig through the layers of life. We all live life and I may be the weirdest thing since sliced cheese, but you know what, I’m still human. As I share on this blog, my dream is to “help” to “point” people to the most wonderful gift that enables us to live this confusing thing called life. This gift of course is Jesus.
We know what we know. My life style is confusing to some people. To me though, it is what I know. As a Christian, I strive to open my heart to “every” type of person. Sometimes I “get it” and sometimes I don’t. My heart instantly goes out to women who struggle with abuse. I know it, understand it and I “feel” along with them. I’m not as adept with a “street” type person. I try, but I truly “don’t get it.”
So, just because I’ve never been a street person, does that mean, I’m better than them? I don’t think so. I don’t believe it gives me the right to talk down, to be rude or to feel superior, just because I’ve never been a street person.
Each year as I read through the Bible, I find that God tends to teach me. God has a heart for people. He wants us to reach out, to love, to help people live life. That’s the biggest lesson, I “hear.” God often admonishes us to reach the lost, the lonely, the hurting, the orphan and the widow.
I find one of the most comforting phrases in the Bible is “For God first loved us.” Through the years, that has helped me so much. As I have stated before, I have spent a life time of trying to find love. As I have gotten older, walked with the Lord, I’ve realized that I have felt unwanted a whole lot. With God’s love, I find that each day is precious and sweet.
I’m thinking about Agape love again. Learning how to Agape love has been precious to me. As I strive to seek another’s highest good, I find a peace seeping deep into my soul. So, if I find someone who is foreign to me, I am able to still love, because I am seeking their highest good. I also don’t try to over compensate either. In my heart, I have a tendency to “be the nice guy” at any cost. In the past I have “prostituted” myself just to get a little love. God isn’t calling me to do that either. That is a comfort too.
At this point, my thoughts are: Is it time to have an attitude adjustment? Is it time to look differently at someone in your life and to treat them better?
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Friday, June 11, 2010
June 12, 2010
Greetings My Friend,
One of the things I love about where we are at in Virginia is the openness out here. I take a walk pretty much each day. I generally walk to the dumpster to discard used cat litter then over to the to the mail box to pick up mail. I stop at E’s for a visit and then I walk the length of her property back to our house.
Sometimes when I walk out the front door I am greeted by Tiny. Tiny is a white 60 pound bundle of love. He visits us regularly. He likes helping Junior as he works in the yard. He loves to follow us as we walk the property, take a hike and he follows me to the dumpster and mail box. Tiny is friendly and very loveable. He has been known to “fall” into the river a time or two as well. I think he likes being playful. It is hard not to love him. He still is a dog though. He likes to chew the rungs of our rocker. W leaves a pair of shoes on his porch and Tiny has eaten them. We have a chair on the porch with a blanket. Many days the blanket is off the chair and other objects are strewn around on the porch and on the property. As I said, he is all dog.
Sometimes I am amazed at thoughts that seem to float into my brain. Later when I think about it, I can’t believe I’ve even entertained those thoughts. For a while Tiny’s owners weren’t able to feed him well. He was very thin. The couple that owned him has three very young children. Money was tight for them and feeding Tiny was a challenge. When Tiny appeared on our porch it was difficult to not feed him. We did. I think that’s why he comes for visits. He remembers that we fed him.
The young couple could not handle the expense of the home they were in and moved in with his parents who are in the area. Tiny still comes for visits and we love him very much. Tiny is a joy. We feel like we have a dog, even though he is not ours every day, all day.
As I was walking along one day, Tiny following me, this thought appeared out of nowhere. My thoughts went something like this. “I could put him in our truck. I could drive him over to my sister’s house. He could live with her and I know that Tiny would be well taken care of. The family won’t know what happened and Tiny would be in a warm comfortable home. He would be loved and cared for.”
I could not believe I entertained this thought. It is not something I would do. It is foreign to me to do something along those lines. I kept trying to justify my thoughts, making it “right” in my mind’s eye. I had a hard time shaking this thought too. I tried to think of other things, to let it go and the thought kept coming back.
One of the goals in my life is to do the right thing. I want to be a compassionate woman. I don’t want to see suffering and if I can, I’d like to make life better, even if it is for an animal. Still taking someone’s pet and giving it away is not the thing to do. Calling the pound, yes that would be ok in my thought process. Feeding Tiny is ok. Tiny has a lot of fur on him, so he can withstand the cold weather. He likes jumping into the river in the middle of the winter, so cold is not a problem for him. Since this family moved into the parent’s home, Tiny does not look underfed anymore. He looks healthy and even happy. So why did I entertain the thought of taking him to my sister? I still wonder why I would entertain stealing this dog.
I mentioned to Junior about the thoughts I had. I told him I was surprised by them. He told me that it was more than likely “Satan.” One of the names given to Satan is “deceiver.” He likes to pop a thought into your mind. He makes it seem innocent enough. Like me “rescuing” Tiny and giving him to my sister.
To be honest, I don’t fully understand Satan and how he works in our lives. I believe he exists and that we need to be wary of him. I also comprehend that he has a way of taking the “innocent” things and making them wrong, like me wanting to “rescue” Tiny.
As of this writing Tiny still comes for visits. He is precious and we love him a whole lot. Like I said it feels like we have a dog, even if we don’t own him. He comes often enough for visits and we love on him when he does visit. We tolerate his puppy ways of chewing, fussing at him, etc when we need to. We take walks and love when Tiny follows us in his big lumbering way. He even will follow the truck or Explorer as we pull out and down the road. Sometimes he even begins to trot after us.
Although we don’t see the family like we did when they were near us, I believe that the boys in this family must love Tiny. He is big enough to take the boys roughness. I bet Tiny even loves these boys. I am grateful that I did not act upon those thoughts I had. I am, grateful that somewhere in my spirit I heard God tell me not to “listen” to these thoughts or to act upon them.
As I close, I have a question. What in your thought life do you need to let go of?
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Greetings My Friend,
One of the things I love about where we are at in Virginia is the openness out here. I take a walk pretty much each day. I generally walk to the dumpster to discard used cat litter then over to the to the mail box to pick up mail. I stop at E’s for a visit and then I walk the length of her property back to our house.
Sometimes when I walk out the front door I am greeted by Tiny. Tiny is a white 60 pound bundle of love. He visits us regularly. He likes helping Junior as he works in the yard. He loves to follow us as we walk the property, take a hike and he follows me to the dumpster and mail box. Tiny is friendly and very loveable. He has been known to “fall” into the river a time or two as well. I think he likes being playful. It is hard not to love him. He still is a dog though. He likes to chew the rungs of our rocker. W leaves a pair of shoes on his porch and Tiny has eaten them. We have a chair on the porch with a blanket. Many days the blanket is off the chair and other objects are strewn around on the porch and on the property. As I said, he is all dog.
Sometimes I am amazed at thoughts that seem to float into my brain. Later when I think about it, I can’t believe I’ve even entertained those thoughts. For a while Tiny’s owners weren’t able to feed him well. He was very thin. The couple that owned him has three very young children. Money was tight for them and feeding Tiny was a challenge. When Tiny appeared on our porch it was difficult to not feed him. We did. I think that’s why he comes for visits. He remembers that we fed him.
The young couple could not handle the expense of the home they were in and moved in with his parents who are in the area. Tiny still comes for visits and we love him very much. Tiny is a joy. We feel like we have a dog, even though he is not ours every day, all day.
As I was walking along one day, Tiny following me, this thought appeared out of nowhere. My thoughts went something like this. “I could put him in our truck. I could drive him over to my sister’s house. He could live with her and I know that Tiny would be well taken care of. The family won’t know what happened and Tiny would be in a warm comfortable home. He would be loved and cared for.”
I could not believe I entertained this thought. It is not something I would do. It is foreign to me to do something along those lines. I kept trying to justify my thoughts, making it “right” in my mind’s eye. I had a hard time shaking this thought too. I tried to think of other things, to let it go and the thought kept coming back.
One of the goals in my life is to do the right thing. I want to be a compassionate woman. I don’t want to see suffering and if I can, I’d like to make life better, even if it is for an animal. Still taking someone’s pet and giving it away is not the thing to do. Calling the pound, yes that would be ok in my thought process. Feeding Tiny is ok. Tiny has a lot of fur on him, so he can withstand the cold weather. He likes jumping into the river in the middle of the winter, so cold is not a problem for him. Since this family moved into the parent’s home, Tiny does not look underfed anymore. He looks healthy and even happy. So why did I entertain the thought of taking him to my sister? I still wonder why I would entertain stealing this dog.
I mentioned to Junior about the thoughts I had. I told him I was surprised by them. He told me that it was more than likely “Satan.” One of the names given to Satan is “deceiver.” He likes to pop a thought into your mind. He makes it seem innocent enough. Like me “rescuing” Tiny and giving him to my sister.
To be honest, I don’t fully understand Satan and how he works in our lives. I believe he exists and that we need to be wary of him. I also comprehend that he has a way of taking the “innocent” things and making them wrong, like me wanting to “rescue” Tiny.
As of this writing Tiny still comes for visits. He is precious and we love him a whole lot. Like I said it feels like we have a dog, even if we don’t own him. He comes often enough for visits and we love on him when he does visit. We tolerate his puppy ways of chewing, fussing at him, etc when we need to. We take walks and love when Tiny follows us in his big lumbering way. He even will follow the truck or Explorer as we pull out and down the road. Sometimes he even begins to trot after us.
Although we don’t see the family like we did when they were near us, I believe that the boys in this family must love Tiny. He is big enough to take the boys roughness. I bet Tiny even loves these boys. I am grateful that I did not act upon those thoughts I had. I am, grateful that somewhere in my spirit I heard God tell me not to “listen” to these thoughts or to act upon them.
As I close, I have a question. What in your thought life do you need to let go of?
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Friday, June 4, 2010
June 5, 2010
Greetings My Friend,
I meet people who believe that because you are a Christian you automatically are “whole or right with God or even perfect.” It aint so. Being a Christian is a day to day walk. We grow from where we were when we first invited Jesus into our hearts. Sometimes we fall backwards and need to start over again. That’s the beauty of loving God. He knows how we are and that we need an assist as we go through life.
The main thing is we need to admit that we are sinners, flat out admit, which for me was a struggle. I justified my bad behavior. I blamed a bad childhood, an unhappy marriage etc. for all my faults. I had a hard time admitting that I contributed to problems in my life. I had a hard time admitting that I may even be the culprit that allowed struggles to enter and stay in my life.
As I have learned to give God my heart, I have found a love so deep and so wide that it amazes me. Sometimes I liken it to living water. Living water is not stagnant. It is continually moving and being refreshed. As I fall down in my walk, I am able to take my heart to the cross. I nail my struggle to that cross. As I give my struggle to the cross, I often find a way out of my bad behavior and soon peace floods me. Wow!!!
I am not the woman I was 13 years ago as I began to open my heart to Jesus. I was newly divorced, devastated and so sad. I at times wasn’t sure how I would go on. Face the people at work, at church as a divorced woman. As I opened my heart to God, I found myself entering new things. I was in counseling. I found Divorce Recovery. I was finding friends, slowly I was learning, I was not alone.
I liked that “I am not alone” feeling. The “I am not alone feeling” translates in to love for me. I finally had the attention I so desperately needed. The more attention I got from God, the more I learned to move outside of myself.
As I have walked with God and found that I could live in His love, I began to have a desire to love, even if love hurt from time to time. I am learning to Agape love others. The Greeks have several words that explain love. I am not good at all of this, but I will try. There is Philo love which is brotherly love. There is Eros love which is a sexual love. There is Agape love which is seeking the highest good for a person. There is one or two more, I’ve forgotten them. You get the idea.
When I am seeking another’s highest good, I find a wonderful sense of peace, joy deep in my heart. As I have let go of strongholds in my life, I find that I also want to reach outside of myself. When I have a stronghold going on in my life, I tend to dwell on that. I am hung up on “me” and I think about “me” and then I lose sight of the world around me.
My Dad’s polio taught me a few things, one of them being that someone always has life a little rougher than you. Junior’s growing up was crazier than mine. I marvel that our lives have so many similarities. Sometimes I think we are able to relate so well, is that we’ve walked a lot of the same roads. Still, I believe in my heart that as crazy as my childhood was, Junior’s was even wilder.
I believe we both reach a spot in our hearts for the other one. I believe we are able to move past the “past” because of Jesus. As we have learned to “let go, let God,” we’ve been able to overcome and to love. Our marriage is a comfortable friendship. We try to go to God first before each other. It seems the more I open my heart to God, the more I feel His love and then I am able to reach out and love as I am loved.
Now in the last few years I’ve struggled greatly with some relationships within my life. I hurt extremely badly. Many times God has hugged me so wonderfully. It was the porch, the time as I prayed and He told me to look up. I felt His hand lift my chin and Him talk to my eyes.
In my “other life” as I often tell people, I would get stuck and could not find a way past the pain. I’d curl up in the house, bed and try to “run” from the pain. With God, I am learning to look at that pain square in the face and when I am able to do that, I find myself moving forward, my chin up and facing life. Do I hurt, yes I do. With Jesus as my friend though, I am able to move through a whole lot.
As I have struggled in some of these relationship issues, I found myself going “backwards,” at times. I would revert to old behaviors. I wanted to beg and plead to be loved. It doesn’t work. It even makes those you are trying to reach angry.
God is so faithful. If I go to Him and ask for help, God provides. Sometimes Junior gives me one of his wonderful Junior hugs. Sometimes it is girlfriends to call. Sometimes it is a talk with a professional. Sometimes God takes me to the front porch and has me sit. It amazes me, how I find the help I need and the strength to move through life.
Again, I believe that being a Christian is a journey, one where you won’t arrive until heaven. It is a day to day, minute to minute way of life. Once you pray the sinner’s prayer does not mean you are made perfect. It does mean that each step brings you closer to that perfection. It is a process, a wonderful road to travel on. Jesus is the goal. He came in the flesh and taught us. He taught us from the Bible, the Old Testament and the New Testament teaches us “life” in Jesus.
So if you meet a Christian who isn’t perfect, please understand that they are on a precious journey and yes they may “sin” still life is better with Jesus than without Him.
What journey are you on? Have you thought about a walk with Jesus?
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Greetings My Friend,
I meet people who believe that because you are a Christian you automatically are “whole or right with God or even perfect.” It aint so. Being a Christian is a day to day walk. We grow from where we were when we first invited Jesus into our hearts. Sometimes we fall backwards and need to start over again. That’s the beauty of loving God. He knows how we are and that we need an assist as we go through life.
The main thing is we need to admit that we are sinners, flat out admit, which for me was a struggle. I justified my bad behavior. I blamed a bad childhood, an unhappy marriage etc. for all my faults. I had a hard time admitting that I contributed to problems in my life. I had a hard time admitting that I may even be the culprit that allowed struggles to enter and stay in my life.
As I have learned to give God my heart, I have found a love so deep and so wide that it amazes me. Sometimes I liken it to living water. Living water is not stagnant. It is continually moving and being refreshed. As I fall down in my walk, I am able to take my heart to the cross. I nail my struggle to that cross. As I give my struggle to the cross, I often find a way out of my bad behavior and soon peace floods me. Wow!!!
I am not the woman I was 13 years ago as I began to open my heart to Jesus. I was newly divorced, devastated and so sad. I at times wasn’t sure how I would go on. Face the people at work, at church as a divorced woman. As I opened my heart to God, I found myself entering new things. I was in counseling. I found Divorce Recovery. I was finding friends, slowly I was learning, I was not alone.
I liked that “I am not alone” feeling. The “I am not alone feeling” translates in to love for me. I finally had the attention I so desperately needed. The more attention I got from God, the more I learned to move outside of myself.
As I have walked with God and found that I could live in His love, I began to have a desire to love, even if love hurt from time to time. I am learning to Agape love others. The Greeks have several words that explain love. I am not good at all of this, but I will try. There is Philo love which is brotherly love. There is Eros love which is a sexual love. There is Agape love which is seeking the highest good for a person. There is one or two more, I’ve forgotten them. You get the idea.
When I am seeking another’s highest good, I find a wonderful sense of peace, joy deep in my heart. As I have let go of strongholds in my life, I find that I also want to reach outside of myself. When I have a stronghold going on in my life, I tend to dwell on that. I am hung up on “me” and I think about “me” and then I lose sight of the world around me.
My Dad’s polio taught me a few things, one of them being that someone always has life a little rougher than you. Junior’s growing up was crazier than mine. I marvel that our lives have so many similarities. Sometimes I think we are able to relate so well, is that we’ve walked a lot of the same roads. Still, I believe in my heart that as crazy as my childhood was, Junior’s was even wilder.
I believe we both reach a spot in our hearts for the other one. I believe we are able to move past the “past” because of Jesus. As we have learned to “let go, let God,” we’ve been able to overcome and to love. Our marriage is a comfortable friendship. We try to go to God first before each other. It seems the more I open my heart to God, the more I feel His love and then I am able to reach out and love as I am loved.
Now in the last few years I’ve struggled greatly with some relationships within my life. I hurt extremely badly. Many times God has hugged me so wonderfully. It was the porch, the time as I prayed and He told me to look up. I felt His hand lift my chin and Him talk to my eyes.
In my “other life” as I often tell people, I would get stuck and could not find a way past the pain. I’d curl up in the house, bed and try to “run” from the pain. With God, I am learning to look at that pain square in the face and when I am able to do that, I find myself moving forward, my chin up and facing life. Do I hurt, yes I do. With Jesus as my friend though, I am able to move through a whole lot.
As I have struggled in some of these relationship issues, I found myself going “backwards,” at times. I would revert to old behaviors. I wanted to beg and plead to be loved. It doesn’t work. It even makes those you are trying to reach angry.
God is so faithful. If I go to Him and ask for help, God provides. Sometimes Junior gives me one of his wonderful Junior hugs. Sometimes it is girlfriends to call. Sometimes it is a talk with a professional. Sometimes God takes me to the front porch and has me sit. It amazes me, how I find the help I need and the strength to move through life.
Again, I believe that being a Christian is a journey, one where you won’t arrive until heaven. It is a day to day, minute to minute way of life. Once you pray the sinner’s prayer does not mean you are made perfect. It does mean that each step brings you closer to that perfection. It is a process, a wonderful road to travel on. Jesus is the goal. He came in the flesh and taught us. He taught us from the Bible, the Old Testament and the New Testament teaches us “life” in Jesus.
So if you meet a Christian who isn’t perfect, please understand that they are on a precious journey and yes they may “sin” still life is better with Jesus than without Him.
What journey are you on? Have you thought about a walk with Jesus?
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
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