Feb 20, 2010
Greetings My Friend,
I have been pondering child rearing of past generations. For many years, I believed that this “modern” way was the right way. Lately, I have begun to question this thought. In Jesus’ day boys were taught “hands on.” They were not taught only in a class room – if at all. The teachers took them around with them and taught them as they walked along, so to speak. A Rabi also taught their disciples that way as well.
Girls of many, many generations were taught to clean, to cook, to sew etc. They worked alongside of their mother’s and learned how to do womanly things. Little girls were also taught to write notes, letters as well. These little notes connected people too. Thank you notes were a way of remembering a kindness and acknowledging it.
For a long time our country was an agricultural country. Every hand was needed to help farm the land, to make the clothes, to chop wood and even make butter, food. The children were a valuable resource and they grew up knowing how to be a parent, how to work etc.
I also don’t think we should go back to child labor like there was in the early 1900’s either. My Grandmother quit school in the 6th grade. She wanted to work in the school cafeteria and earn some money. Her Dad let her because she was a girl and a man was going to take care of her. I don’t think children should work in sweat shops at tender young ages as well.
I was on a mission trip to Nicaragua a few years ago. We were working in an orphanage and I was helping in the kitchen. The older girls often came in and helped us. I did not know how to fry food well and the young girls helped me to know when the food was done. We also were putting up buildings and the older men encouraged the young children to help them build alongside them by doing simple tasks they could handle.
I do believe that we need to train our children to grow into responsible adults. The next struggle I have is that children of today aren’t “mature” until they are 30. I’m sorry, but I think by 30 a “child” should be able to support themselves, lead their own lives – for the most part. Of course there are exceptions, like mentally challenged or handicapped children.
I have gone to a few weddings of young people throughout the years. I have gone to showers etc. I do not get thank you notes much anymore. To be honest, I’ve come to not expect one. Still, I think that people took the time out of their busy lives to buy a gift, give money etc. They came to the event and then no “thank you.” It seems like people expect you to be there, to give etc and you should be happy to be there and that’s that.
By saying thank you, I believe it teaches our children some valuable lessons. It teaches them to think outside of themselves. Thinking outside of ourselves is a great lesson. This takes me back to my new goal – Agape love.
When I am attempting Agape love, I am not making “me” the center of my universe – which I am not. When I Agape love someone, I am seeking their “highest” good. When I don’t make life all about “me” I find that I have more peace in my heart. When I can give to another person I find that is a precious gift to me AND to that person.
Again, Agape love does not mean giving a person everything they may want, just because they want it. It does mean seeking their highest good – and sometimes “no” is a great answer, just as God does not give us everything we want.
Maybe one way to start helping your child would be to encourage them to send “thank you notes” for gifts, kindness’ done to them. Another would be to encourage them to “help” others, such as rake leaves, shovel snow or bake cookies for the elderly, the sick people in their lives. At home, it might be that the child learns how to make their bed each day, learn how to cook a meal, help do laundry or even learn to pack their own lunch. You know, writing a child’s grandparents, special people in their lives would also teach them many things, better writing skills, to connect with a grandparent, that type of thing.
Through the years, I’ve also learned that children watch their parents and emulate them. That “doing” is really what teaches them the most. All the words in the world don’t do nearly as much as setting an example.
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet