February 27, 2009
Greetings My Friend,
Two of my nieces are blogging about their weight loss progress and their “emotional” struggles. I have enjoyed the journey they are on and I have “felt” right along with them because of their “words.” I have also begun to accept myself with extra weight on me.
I have been a “tiny” person for a major portion of my life. In the last 10 years my weight has gone up and down several times. Some of it is my age, still, I think of myself as a little woman. I am not anymore. We had our picture taken a while back and I can’t believe how much more face I have. People tell me I look good, part of me don’t believe it.
As they journal, I learn ways to eat that is healthier. I understand more about “emotional” eating too. Even more, I learn to look at the heart. I have been on a journey look at the heart. When Junior retired, he retired before he wanted to. He struggled with “who” he was going to be in retirement. Junior got into some strange to me behavior for a couple of years. There was the famous “curb side shopping, “he watched our grandson for a while and he was a little wild with him. Junior also got into lawn art which prompted a neighbor to send us a letter requesting that he not do that.
As I struggled with Junior’s new behaviors, I went to prayer. I asked God to “open my eyes to his heart.” I knew from past experience that if I began to lose respect, to find fault in his behavior, then I would not see the good in my husband. I would begin to not like him, want to be near him. I did not want to go down that road again.
To be honest it took me a while to hear what God was trying to teach me. I finally did hear and I am so grateful for what I saw. My husband has a very generous heart. That is what I fell in love with. He raised his daughter from the age of 13. Junior was well loved in Single Point. The more I looked at Junior’s heart, the more I saw the man I fell in love with. I found myself accepting his strange to me behaviors.
I also struggled with Junior’s blunt ways. He has an opinion And he is not afraid to share it. As a woman, I wanted to “fix” that in him. My past also played into this. When people were strong in their opinions I often saw a fight happen. I was afraid. God has been helping with this as well. When we moved to Virginia, we started going to a Chiropractor. Junior went for a few sessions before I started going. He tests them out and when he finds if he likes them, I start going. When I first met our new Chiropractor, I right off said, “Junior has an opinion and he isn’t afraid to give it.” The Chiropractor laughed, he agreed. Then he said he really liked Junior’s upfront attitude. I could tell that this man liked my husband. This helped me a whole lot. Even though we have been married for almost 12 years, I am still growing. I continue to learn to trust my husband. The Chiropractor’s comments helped me to see that Junior’s strong thoughts aren’t said in a mean way. People accept them and aren’t offended either.
I am also learning that if someone is offended, that person may be “convicted” by what Junior is saying. Even though, I try hard not to be offensive, I sometimes offend people. As life goes on for me, I find that people may have a struggle and my words are convicting them. There isn’t much I can do if someone wants to “hear” my words in a negative way. To be honest, my goal is to “hear” God. If I am “hearing” God, then my conscience is clear.
Another verse I enjoy is Philippians 4:8 “ Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
For me, that is my goal, to look for the good, the worthy, honorable etc in a person. If I am doing that, then if my words are convicting someone….well…..
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.

Love
Janet