February 27, 2009
Greetings My Friend,
Two of my nieces are blogging about their weight loss progress and their “emotional” struggles. I have enjoyed the journey they are on and I have “felt” right along with them because of their “words.” I have also begun to accept myself with extra weight on me.
I have been a “tiny” person for a major portion of my life. In the last 10 years my weight has gone up and down several times. Some of it is my age, still, I think of myself as a little woman. I am not anymore. We had our picture taken a while back and I can’t believe how much more face I have. People tell me I look good, part of me don’t believe it.
As they journal, I learn ways to eat that is healthier. I understand more about “emotional” eating too. Even more, I learn to look at the heart. I have been on a journey look at the heart. When Junior retired, he retired before he wanted to. He struggled with “who” he was going to be in retirement. Junior got into some strange to me behavior for a couple of years. There was the famous “curb side shopping, “he watched our grandson for a while and he was a little wild with him. Junior also got into lawn art which prompted a neighbor to send us a letter requesting that he not do that.
As I struggled with Junior’s new behaviors, I went to prayer. I asked God to “open my eyes to his heart.” I knew from past experience that if I began to lose respect, to find fault in his behavior, then I would not see the good in my husband. I would begin to not like him, want to be near him. I did not want to go down that road again.
To be honest it took me a while to hear what God was trying to teach me. I finally did hear and I am so grateful for what I saw. My husband has a very generous heart. That is what I fell in love with. He raised his daughter from the age of 13. Junior was well loved in Single Point. The more I looked at Junior’s heart, the more I saw the man I fell in love with. I found myself accepting his strange to me behaviors.
I also struggled with Junior’s blunt ways. He has an opinion And he is not afraid to share it. As a woman, I wanted to “fix” that in him. My past also played into this. When people were strong in their opinions I often saw a fight happen. I was afraid. God has been helping with this as well. When we moved to Virginia, we started going to a Chiropractor. Junior went for a few sessions before I started going. He tests them out and when he finds if he likes them, I start going. When I first met our new Chiropractor, I right off said, “Junior has an opinion and he isn’t afraid to give it.” The Chiropractor laughed, he agreed. Then he said he really liked Junior’s upfront attitude. I could tell that this man liked my husband. This helped me a whole lot. Even though we have been married for almost 12 years, I am still growing. I continue to learn to trust my husband. The Chiropractor’s comments helped me to see that Junior’s strong thoughts aren’t said in a mean way. People accept them and aren’t offended either.
I am also learning that if someone is offended, that person may be “convicted” by what Junior is saying. Even though, I try hard not to be offensive, I sometimes offend people. As life goes on for me, I find that people may have a struggle and my words are convicting them. There isn’t much I can do if someone wants to “hear” my words in a negative way. To be honest, my goal is to “hear” God. If I am “hearing” God, then my conscience is clear.
Another verse I enjoy is Philippians 4:8 “ Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
For me, that is my goal, to look for the good, the worthy, honorable etc in a person. If I am doing that, then if my words are convicting someone….well…..
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Friday, February 26, 2010
Friday, February 19, 2010
Feb 20, 2010
Greetings My Friend,
I have been pondering child rearing of past generations. For many years, I believed that this “modern” way was the right way. Lately, I have begun to question this thought. In Jesus’ day boys were taught “hands on.” They were not taught only in a class room – if at all. The teachers took them around with them and taught them as they walked along, so to speak. A Rabi also taught their disciples that way as well.
Girls of many, many generations were taught to clean, to cook, to sew etc. They worked alongside of their mother’s and learned how to do womanly things. Little girls were also taught to write notes, letters as well. These little notes connected people too. Thank you notes were a way of remembering a kindness and acknowledging it.
For a long time our country was an agricultural country. Every hand was needed to help farm the land, to make the clothes, to chop wood and even make butter, food. The children were a valuable resource and they grew up knowing how to be a parent, how to work etc.
I also don’t think we should go back to child labor like there was in the early 1900’s either. My Grandmother quit school in the 6th grade. She wanted to work in the school cafeteria and earn some money. Her Dad let her because she was a girl and a man was going to take care of her. I don’t think children should work in sweat shops at tender young ages as well.
I was on a mission trip to Nicaragua a few years ago. We were working in an orphanage and I was helping in the kitchen. The older girls often came in and helped us. I did not know how to fry food well and the young girls helped me to know when the food was done. We also were putting up buildings and the older men encouraged the young children to help them build alongside them by doing simple tasks they could handle.
I do believe that we need to train our children to grow into responsible adults. The next struggle I have is that children of today aren’t “mature” until they are 30. I’m sorry, but I think by 30 a “child” should be able to support themselves, lead their own lives – for the most part. Of course there are exceptions, like mentally challenged or handicapped children.
I have gone to a few weddings of young people throughout the years. I have gone to showers etc. I do not get thank you notes much anymore. To be honest, I’ve come to not expect one. Still, I think that people took the time out of their busy lives to buy a gift, give money etc. They came to the event and then no “thank you.” It seems like people expect you to be there, to give etc and you should be happy to be there and that’s that.
By saying thank you, I believe it teaches our children some valuable lessons. It teaches them to think outside of themselves. Thinking outside of ourselves is a great lesson. This takes me back to my new goal – Agape love.
When I am attempting Agape love, I am not making “me” the center of my universe – which I am not. When I Agape love someone, I am seeking their “highest” good. When I don’t make life all about “me” I find that I have more peace in my heart. When I can give to another person I find that is a precious gift to me AND to that person.
Again, Agape love does not mean giving a person everything they may want, just because they want it. It does mean seeking their highest good – and sometimes “no” is a great answer, just as God does not give us everything we want.
Maybe one way to start helping your child would be to encourage them to send “thank you notes” for gifts, kindness’ done to them. Another would be to encourage them to “help” others, such as rake leaves, shovel snow or bake cookies for the elderly, the sick people in their lives. At home, it might be that the child learns how to make their bed each day, learn how to cook a meal, help do laundry or even learn to pack their own lunch. You know, writing a child’s grandparents, special people in their lives would also teach them many things, better writing skills, to connect with a grandparent, that type of thing.
Through the years, I’ve also learned that children watch their parents and emulate them. That “doing” is really what teaches them the most. All the words in the world don’t do nearly as much as setting an example.
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Greetings My Friend,
I have been pondering child rearing of past generations. For many years, I believed that this “modern” way was the right way. Lately, I have begun to question this thought. In Jesus’ day boys were taught “hands on.” They were not taught only in a class room – if at all. The teachers took them around with them and taught them as they walked along, so to speak. A Rabi also taught their disciples that way as well.
Girls of many, many generations were taught to clean, to cook, to sew etc. They worked alongside of their mother’s and learned how to do womanly things. Little girls were also taught to write notes, letters as well. These little notes connected people too. Thank you notes were a way of remembering a kindness and acknowledging it.
For a long time our country was an agricultural country. Every hand was needed to help farm the land, to make the clothes, to chop wood and even make butter, food. The children were a valuable resource and they grew up knowing how to be a parent, how to work etc.
I also don’t think we should go back to child labor like there was in the early 1900’s either. My Grandmother quit school in the 6th grade. She wanted to work in the school cafeteria and earn some money. Her Dad let her because she was a girl and a man was going to take care of her. I don’t think children should work in sweat shops at tender young ages as well.
I was on a mission trip to Nicaragua a few years ago. We were working in an orphanage and I was helping in the kitchen. The older girls often came in and helped us. I did not know how to fry food well and the young girls helped me to know when the food was done. We also were putting up buildings and the older men encouraged the young children to help them build alongside them by doing simple tasks they could handle.
I do believe that we need to train our children to grow into responsible adults. The next struggle I have is that children of today aren’t “mature” until they are 30. I’m sorry, but I think by 30 a “child” should be able to support themselves, lead their own lives – for the most part. Of course there are exceptions, like mentally challenged or handicapped children.
I have gone to a few weddings of young people throughout the years. I have gone to showers etc. I do not get thank you notes much anymore. To be honest, I’ve come to not expect one. Still, I think that people took the time out of their busy lives to buy a gift, give money etc. They came to the event and then no “thank you.” It seems like people expect you to be there, to give etc and you should be happy to be there and that’s that.
By saying thank you, I believe it teaches our children some valuable lessons. It teaches them to think outside of themselves. Thinking outside of ourselves is a great lesson. This takes me back to my new goal – Agape love.
When I am attempting Agape love, I am not making “me” the center of my universe – which I am not. When I Agape love someone, I am seeking their “highest” good. When I don’t make life all about “me” I find that I have more peace in my heart. When I can give to another person I find that is a precious gift to me AND to that person.
Again, Agape love does not mean giving a person everything they may want, just because they want it. It does mean seeking their highest good – and sometimes “no” is a great answer, just as God does not give us everything we want.
Maybe one way to start helping your child would be to encourage them to send “thank you notes” for gifts, kindness’ done to them. Another would be to encourage them to “help” others, such as rake leaves, shovel snow or bake cookies for the elderly, the sick people in their lives. At home, it might be that the child learns how to make their bed each day, learn how to cook a meal, help do laundry or even learn to pack their own lunch. You know, writing a child’s grandparents, special people in their lives would also teach them many things, better writing skills, to connect with a grandparent, that type of thing.
Through the years, I’ve also learned that children watch their parents and emulate them. That “doing” is really what teaches them the most. All the words in the world don’t do nearly as much as setting an example.
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Friday, February 12, 2010
February 13, 2009
Greetings My Friend,
Ok, I’ve been pondering this for a while now and I need to explore it “out loud.” Most people know that Jesus is important to me, that I am attempting to follow Him etc. Recently I had someone who does not read their Bible or go to church talk to me about “sin,” in my life. Do I sin? Yes I do. I am born of Adam and so I entered this world with sin and I have sinned throughout my life. As much as I try to walk away from sin, there are moments still where I will sin. As I have journeyed along with the Lord, the Holy Spirit helps me to see changes that I need to make and I attempt to change.
In life, we tend to listen to people “in the know.” For instance we tend to do what our doctor suggests because they have studied and know what is best for our health. A lawyer has knowledge of the law and will guide us as well. We don’t … not listen, we believe that the extra education makes them knowledgeable and that knowledge helps us at times. People who don’t go to church, don’t read their Bible often feel they can be “religious” and speak to me/other Christians who practice their faith as “one in the know.”
When I ask God to forgive me…He is faithful and just – He will forgive me. God also teaches me if I want to be forgiven, then I must forgive as well. For years I had so much pain, bitterness and anger in my heart. I could relive a pain that happened to me for years on end. I could see each detail play itself out in my mind’s eye. This really kept me in a constant state of hurt. I was a “victim” over and over again.
As I began praying, I started to ask God to forgive me. I learned even to “name” the sin such as “Lord help me to walk away from pride, impatience, intolerance, lust, greed, envy etc. I also realized that there were people in my life I needed to have a better attitude toward, to forgive, to accept their strange to “me” ways. I asked God to help me there as well.
Another struggle I have is about judging people. You know “judge not least you will be judged.” It seems that people think Christians can’t make a judgment type of thought. It isn’t right to judge because we think “we” are better than someone else. Still we know people by the “fruit in their lives” which means you have to make a decision – a judgment. To me people who are living, breathing, and over all trying to seek another’s highest good – are bearing fruit. It is going to happen. If you don’t see “fruit” then it makes me wonder and question a person’s faith journey.
This leads me to one more thought. Voting….for me, I vote for people who tend to agree that abortion is wrong, that believe marriage is “one man and one woman” etc. I don’t go by what their words say – I go to their voting record and then I vote accordingly. I have had people tell me that I can’t do that. Personally, I want someone to lead me who has good values, good morals etc. Do good people fall – of course they do. Still, I am searching – striving for God’s way.
As I close, I have a question….is there someone you need to forgive? Is it time to “let go, let God?” You know that forgiving is more for you than the person you are forgiving….did you know that? When we forgive others in our hearts, we free ourselves from a burden.
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Greetings My Friend,
Ok, I’ve been pondering this for a while now and I need to explore it “out loud.” Most people know that Jesus is important to me, that I am attempting to follow Him etc. Recently I had someone who does not read their Bible or go to church talk to me about “sin,” in my life. Do I sin? Yes I do. I am born of Adam and so I entered this world with sin and I have sinned throughout my life. As much as I try to walk away from sin, there are moments still where I will sin. As I have journeyed along with the Lord, the Holy Spirit helps me to see changes that I need to make and I attempt to change.
In life, we tend to listen to people “in the know.” For instance we tend to do what our doctor suggests because they have studied and know what is best for our health. A lawyer has knowledge of the law and will guide us as well. We don’t … not listen, we believe that the extra education makes them knowledgeable and that knowledge helps us at times. People who don’t go to church, don’t read their Bible often feel they can be “religious” and speak to me/other Christians who practice their faith as “one in the know.”
When I ask God to forgive me…He is faithful and just – He will forgive me. God also teaches me if I want to be forgiven, then I must forgive as well. For years I had so much pain, bitterness and anger in my heart. I could relive a pain that happened to me for years on end. I could see each detail play itself out in my mind’s eye. This really kept me in a constant state of hurt. I was a “victim” over and over again.
As I began praying, I started to ask God to forgive me. I learned even to “name” the sin such as “Lord help me to walk away from pride, impatience, intolerance, lust, greed, envy etc. I also realized that there were people in my life I needed to have a better attitude toward, to forgive, to accept their strange to “me” ways. I asked God to help me there as well.
Another struggle I have is about judging people. You know “judge not least you will be judged.” It seems that people think Christians can’t make a judgment type of thought. It isn’t right to judge because we think “we” are better than someone else. Still we know people by the “fruit in their lives” which means you have to make a decision – a judgment. To me people who are living, breathing, and over all trying to seek another’s highest good – are bearing fruit. It is going to happen. If you don’t see “fruit” then it makes me wonder and question a person’s faith journey.
This leads me to one more thought. Voting….for me, I vote for people who tend to agree that abortion is wrong, that believe marriage is “one man and one woman” etc. I don’t go by what their words say – I go to their voting record and then I vote accordingly. I have had people tell me that I can’t do that. Personally, I want someone to lead me who has good values, good morals etc. Do good people fall – of course they do. Still, I am searching – striving for God’s way.
As I close, I have a question….is there someone you need to forgive? Is it time to “let go, let God?” You know that forgiving is more for you than the person you are forgiving….did you know that? When we forgive others in our hearts, we free ourselves from a burden.
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Friday, February 5, 2010
February 6, 2010
Greetings My Friend,
Today my thoughts turn toward gossip and mean spirited talk. I must admit that I caved into that type of talk for a long time. For some reason gossip made me feel like I was better than or above someone else. As I have journeyed along in my faith walk, gossip and mean talk for the sake of being mean is something I try hard to stay away from. I am getting more satisfaction now when I try to seek someone’s highest good.
I am also a “cheerleader.” I have always tried to be an encourager. I have felt so beat up for such a long time, that I started trying to point out the good things in people and the good things they are capable of doing. This is high on my love language list. It is right behind being touched. Being touched took me by surprise because for most of my life being touched was a very unpleasant experience. I believe I have learned to feel safe with my husband’s tender love of me and I am able to enjoy the wonderful feelings of being touched now.
One of the things I have noticed is that people will embellish a story so it slants the way they want it to look. I was recently accused of something. That person made it sound like this incidence just happened and it had happened 10 years before, totally unrelated to the problem they were accusing me of. As the accusations went along I found myself wanting to defend “me.” The accusations for the most part weren’t true or there were underlying problems that resulted in me doing something irresponsible.
I also have noticed that when life “sucks,” we tend to not see what we do have and begin to focus on what we don’t have. As we go along in the struggle, we may make it more “dramatic,” than it really is. A “dramatic,” story sounds good, at least to our ears. What we don’t realize is that many times people soon “catch on,” to our embellishing a struggle.
Another problem with gossip and mean talk is that it also tends to close doors. It can derail a relationship. The accused may shut the door and it may be years before the doors will be opened – if ever.
I did not know my Dad’s parents very well. There was always a struggle between Dad and his parents. When I was 16 and my sister 15 we flew out to Colorado to visit our Grandparents. They were always unhappy that Dad married our Mom. They told us all about it and accused our Mom of some very not nice things. To be honest we were teenagers and we were critical of our Mom a lot back then. Still, it hurt to hear the accusations they leveled against her. She was our Mom. We never saw them after that. We were grown when Grandpa died and after he died Grandma came for a visit. Again, Dad and Grandma butted heads the whole visit and that was the very last time I saw her.
As I go along in my faith journey, I find seeking another’s highest good to be so satisfying and rewarding. It is one of my pretty much daily prayers for Junior, for me to be what he needs me to be. When I worked, I started trying to seek my co-workers highest good. I try to seek my neighbors highest good too. I try to seek it with whoever I am in relationship with. As I seek the highest good, I find that I don’t see their flaws very often and when I do, I can understand more fully where they are coming from. I am also finding that if I can’t be in relationship with someone, then I can pray for them, which is still seeking their highest good, then if that relationship is ever mended, I won’t have a bitterness in my spirit.
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Greetings My Friend,
Today my thoughts turn toward gossip and mean spirited talk. I must admit that I caved into that type of talk for a long time. For some reason gossip made me feel like I was better than or above someone else. As I have journeyed along in my faith walk, gossip and mean talk for the sake of being mean is something I try hard to stay away from. I am getting more satisfaction now when I try to seek someone’s highest good.
I am also a “cheerleader.” I have always tried to be an encourager. I have felt so beat up for such a long time, that I started trying to point out the good things in people and the good things they are capable of doing. This is high on my love language list. It is right behind being touched. Being touched took me by surprise because for most of my life being touched was a very unpleasant experience. I believe I have learned to feel safe with my husband’s tender love of me and I am able to enjoy the wonderful feelings of being touched now.
One of the things I have noticed is that people will embellish a story so it slants the way they want it to look. I was recently accused of something. That person made it sound like this incidence just happened and it had happened 10 years before, totally unrelated to the problem they were accusing me of. As the accusations went along I found myself wanting to defend “me.” The accusations for the most part weren’t true or there were underlying problems that resulted in me doing something irresponsible.
I also have noticed that when life “sucks,” we tend to not see what we do have and begin to focus on what we don’t have. As we go along in the struggle, we may make it more “dramatic,” than it really is. A “dramatic,” story sounds good, at least to our ears. What we don’t realize is that many times people soon “catch on,” to our embellishing a struggle.
Another problem with gossip and mean talk is that it also tends to close doors. It can derail a relationship. The accused may shut the door and it may be years before the doors will be opened – if ever.
I did not know my Dad’s parents very well. There was always a struggle between Dad and his parents. When I was 16 and my sister 15 we flew out to Colorado to visit our Grandparents. They were always unhappy that Dad married our Mom. They told us all about it and accused our Mom of some very not nice things. To be honest we were teenagers and we were critical of our Mom a lot back then. Still, it hurt to hear the accusations they leveled against her. She was our Mom. We never saw them after that. We were grown when Grandpa died and after he died Grandma came for a visit. Again, Dad and Grandma butted heads the whole visit and that was the very last time I saw her.
As I go along in my faith journey, I find seeking another’s highest good to be so satisfying and rewarding. It is one of my pretty much daily prayers for Junior, for me to be what he needs me to be. When I worked, I started trying to seek my co-workers highest good. I try to seek my neighbors highest good too. I try to seek it with whoever I am in relationship with. As I seek the highest good, I find that I don’t see their flaws very often and when I do, I can understand more fully where they are coming from. I am also finding that if I can’t be in relationship with someone, then I can pray for them, which is still seeking their highest good, then if that relationship is ever mended, I won’t have a bitterness in my spirit.
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
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