February 6, 2010
Greetings My Friend,
Today my thoughts turn toward gossip and mean spirited talk. I must admit that I caved into that type of talk for a long time. For some reason gossip made me feel like I was better than or above someone else. As I have journeyed along in my faith walk, gossip and mean talk for the sake of being mean is something I try hard to stay away from. I am getting more satisfaction now when I try to seek someone’s highest good.
I am also a “cheerleader.” I have always tried to be an encourager. I have felt so beat up for such a long time, that I started trying to point out the good things in people and the good things they are capable of doing. This is high on my love language list. It is right behind being touched. Being touched took me by surprise because for most of my life being touched was a very unpleasant experience. I believe I have learned to feel safe with my husband’s tender love of me and I am able to enjoy the wonderful feelings of being touched now.
One of the things I have noticed is that people will embellish a story so it slants the way they want it to look. I was recently accused of something. That person made it sound like this incidence just happened and it had happened 10 years before, totally unrelated to the problem they were accusing me of. As the accusations went along I found myself wanting to defend “me.” The accusations for the most part weren’t true or there were underlying problems that resulted in me doing something irresponsible.
I also have noticed that when life “sucks,” we tend to not see what we do have and begin to focus on what we don’t have. As we go along in the struggle, we may make it more “dramatic,” than it really is. A “dramatic,” story sounds good, at least to our ears. What we don’t realize is that many times people soon “catch on,” to our embellishing a struggle.
Another problem with gossip and mean talk is that it also tends to close doors. It can derail a relationship. The accused may shut the door and it may be years before the doors will be opened – if ever.
I did not know my Dad’s parents very well. There was always a struggle between Dad and his parents. When I was 16 and my sister 15 we flew out to Colorado to visit our Grandparents. They were always unhappy that Dad married our Mom. They told us all about it and accused our Mom of some very not nice things. To be honest we were teenagers and we were critical of our Mom a lot back then. Still, it hurt to hear the accusations they leveled against her. She was our Mom. We never saw them after that. We were grown when Grandpa died and after he died Grandma came for a visit. Again, Dad and Grandma butted heads the whole visit and that was the very last time I saw her.
As I go along in my faith journey, I find seeking another’s highest good to be so satisfying and rewarding. It is one of my pretty much daily prayers for Junior, for me to be what he needs me to be. When I worked, I started trying to seek my co-workers highest good. I try to seek my neighbors highest good too. I try to seek it with whoever I am in relationship with. As I seek the highest good, I find that I don’t see their flaws very often and when I do, I can understand more fully where they are coming from. I am also finding that if I can’t be in relationship with someone, then I can pray for them, which is still seeking their highest good, then if that relationship is ever mended, I won’t have a bitterness in my spirit.
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet