January 23, 2010
Greetings My Friend,
As I write this, it is the first week in November. Last Sunday November 1st, I was baptized in the river behind our house. So why would I go out into the cold water on a 50 some degree day and get baptized? That is the 64,000 dollar question.
My faith journey has been an important part of my life since my divorce. As I see the struggles I’ve dealt with, I see where I have not been alone. Describing what I see, what I’ve come to know….that is a challenge at times. Part of my faith journey has been learning how to have “eyes, that see and ears that hear.” As I have opened my heart to Jesus, I find times where I “see and hear” differently now.
As I look back at my life, I see where I was one of those people, like the kid in school who raises their hand wanting to give an answer, jumping up and down, kind of like saying, “me, I know the answer, ask me.” I was constantly trying to get noticed by someone, somebody, somehow. I wanted to be noticed, accepted, wanted….you name it.
I also didn’t want to get noticed as well. I learned how to blend into the woodwork, to not be noticed. In school, I learned to sit in the middle, the front and back got called on the most. If I was in the middle, I blended in and wasn’t noticed. I didn’t have to give answers because I wasn’t seen. I also learned to wear nondescript clothes with muted colors. This helped blend me into the woodwork so to speak.
My first big step came when I prayed the sinner’s prayer. I asked Jesus to be the Savior in my heart and I confessed that I was a sinner. Right afterwards, I did not feel any different than I had before the prayer. When I look back, I do see that was the point where my life really changed. One of the first changes I wanted to make was that I wanted to listen to different music. Then I wanted to fill my head with cleaner thoughts. I wanted to change, not because God was forcing me to, I wanted to change because I wanted to change.
As I went along in my faith journey, I found myself not being alone anymore. I have always liked being in a crowd, with other people. I did not like being alone and wanted to do everything with someone else. I was able to sit more quietly, to be content and not need to be entertained ALL the time. That was a huge change for me.
I found times where God was comforting me, encouraging me AND that felt wonderful. I had the attention I wanted and I LOVED it. I remember praying asking God to show me what being “still and knowing God was like.” Shortly after that I had cancer. Boy that hurt. Still as I went along and got so very tired…..I began to learn to be comfortable in quietness.
Part of what I like about being with Junior is that he is totally comfortable living a very quiet life. It is foreign to me. I love when I wake up in the morning and he has been up for a couple of hours, his quiet movements amaze me. He is content wandering around doing whatever. We don’t do drama. I knew drama very well, that’s all I lived forever and a day. Drama got to be…..too dramatic. I got so tired of it. This quiet life though, I find I enjoy it, crave it and long for it. To be honest, we do way more than I did in my “other” life. We travel. We get together with friends. We went to plays and probably will again. We go to church. We have done mission trips and hope to do more in the future. Our lives are full and rich.
As I move along in my faith journey, I find that I don’t need to be NOTICED so much anymore. I am learning to LOVE to seek another’s highest good. That feels real nice too. Seeking another’s highest good means there are times when I am not noticed. That’s ok, and I don’t mind.
So my life has been moving along nicely. My faith journey has been growing steadily, so why get baptized? The thief on the cross wasn’t baptized. What’s the “big” deal? I was baptized as a baby. Why do it again?
As I came to the baptism, I had two stories that God placed on my heart. The first one was of when the Israelites crossed the Red Sea. That’s why I picked the river behind my house. When the Israelites left Egypt and got to the Red Sea…..they had to learn to trust God. They were backed into a corner so to speak. The sea was in front of them and the Egyptian army was behind them. They had to learn to “Let go, Let God.” God provided for them. He led them through the sea on dry ground. They had to leave Egypt in Egypt. For me my Egypt is Michigan. I have had to let go of Michigan and the holds it has on me, the hurt, the anger…whatever.
The other story, I found myself thinking on was my faith journey. Through the years since I prayed the “sinners” prayer, I found myself growing, desiring to please God more and more. That’s one of my pretty much every day prayers. Lord, take me and use me this day for your Glory. I can look back and see what a difference my life has been as I have learned to “obey.” I know that I know that my life has been enriched beyond words because Jesus loves ME. As I learned about the symbolism of the baptism, I wanted to be baptized….to grow in my faith even more. When I was submerged into the water, I was dying to sin. When I came up out of the water, I was a new creation in Christ. The new creation in Christ has been appealing to me. I can see where I have changed – been made new if you will. I am looking for an even deeper walk, more changes that will help me to be……and I wait to see what “that” will be.
A new question comes to mind. Have you thought about Jesus? We will have to think about Him at some point. Why not now?

May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet