Oct 17, 2009

Greetings My Friend,

As we continue to settle in our home, I find myself wanting to be a wife….a woman who cares for her family…..keeps house…..cooks dinner….stuff like that. In my heart I believe that God created men and women differently. Raising my son taught me that boys are rough and tough, make loud noises and approach life differently than a girl will.

Even as a young girl I wanted to be a wife and mother. I did not want a “career.” I wanted to stay home and care for my family. My mother had to work. Dad had polio, he could not work for several years and when he could, he could only get menial jobs. I remember wishing Mom could be home when we got home from school – like most of the mom’s of my generation. I understood her need to work – still I wished she were at home.

I did wind up working – I even had a career. My heart was to be a mother first though. My dream right now is to get up, putz in the house, go visit Emma and then in the afternoon write for a few hours. Being a homemaker – that is what fills me. Junior is a gem. He loves doing laundry – so I let him. I wanted to buy a dishwasher – he decided he would do dishes. Many mornings, before I get up, Junior vacuums the carpet. Junior helps me keep house. I love it. Still, I have fun making our meals, keeping the clothes folded and in general pick up the house.

The Proverbs 31 woman can be intimidating. I find comfort in it though. I find that my “style” of being a woman is in there. It even shows that a woman can work outside the home – and still be a caring wife and mother. Somewhere deep inside of me I feel that my first priority is being a wife then a mother, then a career woman.

As I watch the mother cat care for her young – her first priority is the young. She will lie down and nurse the babies when they are hungry. She is content and does nothing else while the young are feeding. Me – when I nursed, I tried to multitask. I would read to the older child while I nursed, I would talk on the phone etc. At the end of the day I was always extremely tired. Did I realize that this time was very short – very precious? NO!

I have a prayer that God gave me. “Slow down, bow down, calm down.” When I am feeling frantic, over whelmed, or flat out stressed, this prayer reminds me that it isn’t about how much, how fast I can do life, and it is about taking time to “smell the roses, pet the cat” as well.

I believed for many years that it was important to have a picture perfect house. I believed that I needed to bake cookies – from scratch and I needed to be at every game, activity in order to be a perfect mother. It is impossible – it is hard to live up to. The best gifts you can give your children are time, a chance to meet Jesus. I believe that prayer is important. I did not always understand talking to God about my child. God will lead you if you let Him.

When my son was in high school – he was getting into a lot of trouble. I was frightened for him. At that point I learned a prayer and prayed it often. “Let go, Let God.” I would tell God what I knew, I would then release it to God and in that I found peace….comfort. My son grew up; he is a responsible husband and father. I believe in my heart that God watched out after my son.

Even now I pray for my family. I pray each day for the kids, grandkids, brothers, sisters, nieces and nephews and their children. I may not be able to do a whole lot for them….I can cover them in prayer – even if they aren’t talking to me.

Prayer….it helps me in so many ways. I get to give people I care about to God. I can release personal struggles to God. I find that prayer helps me cope, face life.

I have used a “formula” prayer for many years now. I don’t say the exact same words every day but I use it to walk through my conversations with God. It is ACTSS - Accolades (to God), Confession, Supplication and Service. I find that in this I have come to wholeness – I no longer need to be in counseling for years on end. As I focus on God, on others, I find myself being able to think outside myself. It is freeing and a wonderful sense of purpose fills me now.

I suggest that you pray for your family, for your neighbors, your co-workers – anyone you know. I have learned to love people whom I can’t relate to, who are difficult and I have even learned to love my family.

May God Bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.

Love

Janet