May 30, 2009

Greetings My Friend,

“Be still and know that I am God,” Psalm 46:10, seems to be running through my thoughts a whole lot lately. I remember I prayed that prayer a few years ago. Sitting still, being quiet has always been a struggle for. me. My mind seems to be in constant over-drive, always going from one thought to the next. When Grandma was alive, I remember finishing her sentences for her because my brain was always going so fast.

Almost five years ago, I was laid low with cancer. It kicked my butt. I wound up sleeping so much. I remember though that as I was lying on the couch waking up, I often heard Junior moving around the house. His movements were music to my ears. Since I have been with Junior, I have found that I feel very safe. I never knew that safe feeling before I met Junior.

As we settle in here in Virginia, I am finding another level of “being still and knowing God.” In the city the back ground noise is noise. Here the background is more “sounds” than noise. There is the constant sound of the rushing river. I hear birds singing a whole lot. Sometimes I hear a lawn mower, a gun going off and throughout the day a train coming by. I find peace, contentment entering my soul.

The first week we were here, I saw a crane standing on the river bank; saw another one as I walked along the road that followed the river. I see butterflies flying around and humming birds rushing by. I hear birds singing and see them flying here and there. All of this is so peaceful. I find that my energy level is coming back once more. I am not sleeping nearly as much as I was after I retired last summer. I sense that God has called Junior and me here and that we will be used by God. Do I know what our new roles will be? Not yet. Still I think we are here for a reason.

Our Landlord, Emma, is very sick, she has emphazema. She is a precious lady and I love her already. I find myself going over for a morning break most days. We talk a whole lot. Emma is 82 and I feel like I once more have a “mom” to love. I am often amazed at the women God has placed in my life. In our Sunday school class in Michigan, I found some older women who loved me and I loved them. I miss Irene so much. Mom, Grandma and I often went shopping on Saturdays. It feels good to have Emma in my life.

I don’t finish Emma’s sentences like I did with Grandma. I sit in her presence and soak up her love, her faith and her friendship. She feels good in my soul.

I love putting together another home. It is fun decorating again. It is fun rethinking how I want to place things. It is a big decision at what I will keep because we are living in a lot smaller home. Since I left home I’ve always had Grandma’s trunk, gate legged table and a wall of her family pictures from her childhood. Somehow these things will work their way into this home as well. At times I think that I am learning a lesson, “what is really important?” At times Junior thinks we may be called into missionary work. If so, then we are learning valuable lessons right now. We may come back here for our rest. That would be grand! We wait, we pray and God will let us know what the next step is.

My question for you is, are you “being still and allowing God to speak to you?” It is a challenge at times. I find though, that when I am still and allow God to lead me, I find life much more….interesting…better and I am very content.

Love

Janet

May 23, 2009

Greetings My Friend,

Well, we made it to Virginia. As I write this, it is our first week here. My memories of this place have left a lot out and it is more beautiful than I remembered. For most of my life I have had a dream to live in a pretty country setting. I felt that I was too much of a city girl and country would be hard on me. At the same time I have always thought it would be awesome to sit at a window, look out at nature and write. Well, God has handed me my dream on a silver platter and I am in seventh heaven.

The house we are in sits on a hill. The kitchen window looks out on a river. The other side of the river is a mountain and it goes straight up. One morning as I was wandering around in the kitchen I looked out and saw a crane on the river bank. He was so majestic. I called Junior and we stood there for the longest time watching the crane.

In front of our house is a train track. As a child we lived down the street from a train track and I loved listening to the trains as I drifted off to sleep. I am not finding the sound of the trains to be intrusive – they in some ways are a comfort to me. We have taken a few walks already and again, I am amazed. The road we walk on follows the river, so we see lots of beautiful scenes. Once we saw a crane flying along, scooping down and back up again.

The house we are in is very old, 80 – 100 years old. There is one clothes closet in the whole house. There are lots of dressers and they help store things. It is exciting for us because the washer and dryer are on the first floor. Well, there is only one floor and for the first time in our lives we have the washer and dryer on the first floor. It is a small house – smaller than we have had in a long time. That being said, the rooms are roomy rooms.

I am having fun reading magazines, on how to make the most out of a little space. The walls are all paneled – dark brown – yuck! My thought process at this point is, how can I brighten the place up. One thought is to hang white sheers. My mother-in-law Irene used to hang sheers and put the curtain rod outside the window frame. The windows looked bigger. My thought is that all the white sheers would brighten up the dark paneling. Next all the floors are carpeted – dark browns, reds, gold add to the darkness. We want to find area rugs with light colors to help lighten up the darkness. It is fun making my brain work at decorating. The bathroom is a special problem. The carpet is red, three walls are paneled and one wall has yellow linoleum on it. Yuck!!! Still, I am hoping to find an area rug that will tie these colors in nicely.

At this point, I find myself feeling anxious. I now want our Redford house to sell – real bad. I don’t want to go back to Michigan to live. Still, we feel that this is where God wants us to be. We prayed and felt that Virginia is where we are to be. I need to trust God. I need to wait patiently. In the meantime, I need to enjoy myself, to wait on the Lord and to trust God.

My question for you is what are you feeling anxious about? Are you allowing God to be in charge or are you trying to control it all? For me, when I have that need to control, I find that God allows me to struggle until I am willing to let go and allow God to be in charge. A few years ago, we put our house up for sale. We prayed. I struggled and wanted the house to sell real bad. I could think of nothing else than the condo that we wanted to live in. In the end the house did not sell. The day after we took the house off the market, I found out that I had cancer. I was so happy that I was in a familiar place while I went through radiation. In the end, I felt that God truly knew what was best. This time, my goal is to not bargain with God, but to wait upon the Lord. As I write this, I ask that each of you to pray asking God to help me to wait upon him.

Love

Janet

Genesis 1:20

And God said, “let the water teem with living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the expanse of the sky.

Genesis 1:24

And God said, “ let the land produce living creatures according to their kinds; livestock, creatures that move along the ground, and wild animals, each according to its own kind.

May 16, 2009

Greetings My Friend,

When I worked, I worked an odd shift. My area took care of solving problems for commercial loans. I handled the California time frame. One of my co-workers handled Texas and the other ladies Michigan. One day the Michigan people were gone and a fire alarm went off. My co-worker decided she would move her car closer since she would be leaving soon after we were done with the fire alarm.

We generally went to one area in the parking lot. Within that area we would gather in the same area. My friend was looking for me. She is 5’8” and I am 5’ even. I saw my friend walking toward me, her eyes roaming, up in the air looking for me. She drew up close to me and still her eyes were searching for me. At that point I started talking to her. I told her that if she wanted to find me, she would need to look down. We laughed and laughed.

As I went through my divorce, I found myself praying and talking to God. I always believed that there was a God. I even believed Jesus came to this earth. I did not know who the Holy Spirit was although we sang songs, and prayed about Him. I never made the connection that God wanted me to talk to Him each and every day or that Jesus was truly my Savior. The divorce brought me to my knees. I felt like I had been punched in the stomach and I finally decided to pray. I guess my spiritual life was a lot like my friend looking for me that day in the parking lot.

I started to learn that we are “mind, body and spirit.” I began to understand that it was important to get my spirit in shape as well as my mind and body. For most of my life, my mind also was a mess. I hurt so much. I was in and out of counseling from my 20’s to my early 40’s.

When Junior and I started dating, then getting serious, he began to go to my counseling sessions with me. He wanted to understand me, to know what I was struggling with. When I married Junior and asked him my many questions, he asked me, “What does the Bible say?” Well, I got irritated and began reading the Bible. I was amazed when I read the Bible through the first year. I had thought that I was not bright enough to read, to understand it. I read it through and I strive to read it through each year. I also try to do a Bible Study and we have been in a Bible Study group through the years. As I read my way through the Bible each year, I am amazed at all I learn. I even learn new lessons from some of the stuff I got a different lesson on the previous read through.

I love the Proverbs. Sometimes I read the Proverbs throughout the year. There are 31 Proverbs, so I can read one each day. I love reading about David. He is real. He loved God. God loved David and David messed up from time to time. I find great comfort realizing that God loved David and still David was not perfect. I find that David would confess and in confession, he was able to move onward.

Confession that has been one of the most healing things I have learned. I used to justify my bad behavior. When I learned to admit my sin, my struggle, my fear, my anger etc, well, I began to find peace, wholeness, and acceptance. I also began to find that in admitting my sin, and then I could walk away from sin.

I have come to love the Psalms too. Many of the Psalms were written by David. In the Psalms, I learned to praise God. I learned that praising God also helped me to move out of despair. The more I praised God; I started to see what I had and not be so focused on what I did not have.

The Bible and prayer time, has helped me to see all that I do have. I found my emotional pain was not as constant as in my 20’s, 30’s and early 40’s. God has placed precious people in my path. I have been able to give motherly love to young women, even though my daughter does not acknowledge me or even though she does not seem to want me in her life. God seems to take my hurts and gives me what desire. I love young women. I love reaching out to them and even though my daughter does not acknowledge me, well…. I find that when I can’t have what I want, God gives me so many other things and life is so much sweeter.

My prayer is that you find Jesus, let Him enter into your heart and let Him bring you the healing that you may be looking for.

May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.

Love

Janet

Deuteronomy 6:5

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your strength.

Deuteronomy 6:9

Write them on the doorposts of your houses and your gates.

May 9, 2009

Greetings My Friend,

It is Mother’s Day tomorrow. It is a day in which I think back. My Mom was not a cuddly Mom. Grandma wasn’t either. Irene, my mother-in-law, she is the one I think about lately. I find that I miss her more as the years pass. She has been with the Lord for many years now and I find myself remembering her at strange times.

Irene never finished elementary school. Women didn’t in that generation. Irene had 8 children – 7 boys the last one was a girl. Her first baby died as a baby. Irene knew how to “do” babies. She knew if you put a cool teaspoon on their gums, they settled down when they were teething. She knew to cover the baby’s ears in the spring and fall. She was full of folksy wisdom.

When I was a newly married, to her son, she talked to me about being a wife. She and I were at alone in her kitchen and she talked to me like I was her daughter. I remember loving it at the time. She told me that I needed to be at my husband’s side, as he did the manly stuff around the house. She told me when we had people over to help us fix, move whatever, that I needed to make food. I remembered those lessons and tried to do them. My husband and I did not work well with each other. Still, I remembered what she taught me.

Christmas was fun at her house. She always had the entire gang over on Christmas Eve. After everyone ate, the sister-in-laws, the sister and Irene were in the kitchen doing dishes by hand. She had a dishwasher, but we did most of the dishes by hand. Being out there was so special. We talked girl talk. We laughed at the antics of the men in our lives. We shared and we loved.

I also remember that at 11:00 Irene and Chuck (my father-in-law) went to church. I loved watching them walk out the door. I loved knowing they were going to worship. We did not go with them. We had little ones to get home. We had gone earlier. I had always wanted to leave the celebration and go worship.

As Irene got older, I remember her telling me how she made her way down the aisle at church so she could take communion. She was a widow by then. She went with her cousin. The two of them locked their arms around each other and walked down the aisle. They were both too sick to walk down on their own steam. They were in church though. I find that thought so precious. As I try to walk with God, it is Irene I come back to. She truly loved Jesus.

Irene had a bad heart, too many years smoking two packs of cigarettes a day. When she had by-pass surgery, the doctor told her that her arteries were like egg shells. Irene needed a second by-pass surgery. She chose not to have it done. I watched her die a little at a time. It was hard, but she was courageous. She knew she was going home to Jesus and she was not afraid. Again, I remember her faith and marvel at the woman I grew to love.

I find that God puts people in our path. Many of them teach us precious lessons. This Mother’s Day, I pray that you love the mother’s in your midst. Look past their strange ways and see the lesson’s that are there.

May God Bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.

Love

Janet

Proverbs 11:6

A gracious lady is respected, but a woman without virtue is a disgrace.

Proverbs 14:1

Homes are made by the wisdom of women, but are destroyed by foolishness.

Proverbs 24:3-4

Homes are built on the foundation of wisdom and understanding. Where there is knowledge the rooms are furnished with beautiful valuable things.

May 2, 2009

Greetings My Friend,

The desire in my heart is to share Jesus with people. In Jesus, I have found a peace that passes all understanding. I can face each day now, when at one point in my life, getting out of bed was a major chore.

Listening to the Holy Spirit can be challenging at times. He does not have an audible voice; it is hard to know if God is talking to me or if Satan is. I find that daily Bible reading, prayer and fellowship with other believers helps me in my faith journey with the Lord. God teaches me that life is not only about hanging out with other believers; I must reach out to those who do not know Jesus and try hard to bring Jesus to others as well. Through the years, I have also learned that hitting people over the head with the Bible does not generally open the door for Jesus to enter in.

God is teaching me that I have talent. Most of my life, I have felt like the low end of a totem pole – not important, not impressive etc. I have done a couple of Spiritual Assessment tests. I find that I am an encourager. I love being a “cheerleader,” for people. I had a fight recently with someone I love dearly. I mentioned how I try to tell him, anyone who will listen how much he has done, come through. He did not think much of my “cheerleading,” on his behalf. That hurt a lot. It was like a sucker punch in the stomach. I was giving him my heart and he did not want it.

The Holy Spirit is teaching me that even though, I give love, it doesn’t mean that my love will be received. God is the same way. He loves each one of us as if we were the only person in the world. That amazes me. In Jesus, I find that I am precious. I also know that anyone who walks with Jesus feels exactly the same way. God has given each of us the opportunity to love Him and to be loved by Him. If we choose not to, well…. There will be a day that we must choose and that choice has an eternal consequence.

After the elections last fall Junior and I began to sense that it is time to move. We started talking about living in another state at the same time. I wanted to move, Junior wanted to move. It was strange because we both felt it was time to move. We also felt that Michigan may be seeing some more hard times – tougher times. When the citizens voted to experiment on the unborn, who were to be aborted, God may be unhappy and is going to bring a judgment upon this state. We felt that God was telling us to move to another state completely. It is strange because we both have been in Michigan for the brunt of our lives. Our children are here, our friends are here, and our lives have been lived here for decades.

We went to prayer to make sure we understood what we were sensing. We did a fleece prayer. When Gideon was told to go fight, he was not sure, so he put fleece on the ground and asked God to make it wet if he was to go fight. The next day, he asked God to make the ground wet and the fleece dry. God answered both questions and Gideon knew to go to battle. God was with Gideon and he won the battle. We asked God if we were to move. We sensed that we were to move. We began putting our house in order. We put it up for sale. A rental home became available in Virginia. It is in a beautiful area. It is near a river. It is a valley and the other side is a mountain that goes straight up. We prayed again, and sensed that we were to take the house. We have secured the home. We wait for our home to sell at this point.

We now wait for God to sell our home. If it does not sell, well we come back to Michigan. We believe that God will use us in Virginia as well. Our new calling is not real clear yet. Still we step out in faith. I must say that I am excited and scared.

May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.

I have used the following Scriptures; I try hard to let God’s Word to speak me as I write. My prayer is that I introduce Scripture, prayer and a walk with the Lord, so that you may know Jesus. Even more important, I pray that you accept Jesus into your heart. I love you.

Love

Janet

Judges 6:36 – 40

Gideon said to God, “If you will save Israel by my hand as you have promised- Look, I will place a wool fleece on the threshing floor. If there is dew only on the fleece and all the ground is dry, then I will know that you will save Israel by my hand, as you said.” And that is what happened, Gideon rose early the next day; he squeezed the fleece and wrung out the dew – a bowlful of water. Then Gideon said to God, “Do not be angry with me. Let me make just one more request. Allow me one more test with the fleece. This time make the fleece dry and the ground covered with dew.” That night God did so. Only the fleece was dry; all the ground was covered with dew.

April 25, 2009

Greetings My Friend,

Although, I grew up in much dysfunction, I still received some great lessons. Many days when I came home from school, my Dad would sit at the kitchen table and talk to me. Many times I was his sounding board. I loved listening to him, being the special someone who he confided in.

When I got older, I realized that many of things he talked to me about should not have been discussed. Still, I loved the attention. Dad talked to me about his sex life with my mother. He told me that a woman needs to be available to her husband. He confided that Mom was not always “available” to him. To Mom’s defense, she worked to support the family; she went to school as well so we could live a little better. Mom was tired. I don’t know how she did it.

I carried that “available” lesson with me as I got married. I tried to always be “available” to my husband, even if I did not like what he wanted me to do. My first husband wanted me to do lots of things, things I was not comfortable with.

I carried this attribute into my current marriage as well. Junior has always appreciated my being available to him. He has been a generous lover as well. When I have been sick, had surgery, etc, he has not “demanded” that I fulfill my wifely duties. Junior truly wants me to enjoy our love making And I do. I am amazed at how wonderful our love life is. Over and over, I feel that Junior is my “first” lover. He has taught me the true gift of making love.

Our bodies are getting older. I am a lot drier and find that I need “help” not being so dry. Junior’s getting older as well. What we could do a few short years ago, we can’t. I tell Junior that I will wait for him, when he is ready. He likes that I will wait for him. He likes that I don’t demand that he perform.

We snuggle more now. I love being snuggled. It is precious to me. Our love is for each other and no one else. I like that. I sense that Junior likes me being a “one man” woman as well.

God has given us the beautiful gift of sex. It is to be enjoyed in marriage. It is to be enjoyed in healthy appropriate ways. One of the most beautiful books in the Bible is “Song of Solomon.” It talks about the love of a man and woman. Junior finds the book strange because of the metaphors. I find it beautiful, because of the love the man and woman share. God created sex. He wants us to enjoy it. That being said, God also wants us to enjoy it in the way He created it to be in the marriage relationship, not outside it, not with multiple partners, not in group sex or in homosexual relationships.

If you are not married, I urge you to wait. Studies have shown that when a couple engages in sex prior to marriage, their relationship tends to not grow from then on. If you are married, I urge you to share your love willingly. Be patient if your husband is stressed, has a struggle. If there is an ongoing problem, then seek help.

May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.

Love

Janet

Hebrews 13:4

Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and the sexually immoral.