April 25, 2009

Greetings My Friend,

Although, I grew up in much dysfunction, I still received some great lessons. Many days when I came home from school, my Dad would sit at the kitchen table and talk to me. Many times I was his sounding board. I loved listening to him, being the special someone who he confided in.

When I got older, I realized that many of things he talked to me about should not have been discussed. Still, I loved the attention. Dad talked to me about his sex life with my mother. He told me that a woman needs to be available to her husband. He confided that Mom was not always “available” to him. To Mom’s defense, she worked to support the family; she went to school as well so we could live a little better. Mom was tired. I don’t know how she did it.

I carried that “available” lesson with me as I got married. I tried to always be “available” to my husband, even if I did not like what he wanted me to do. My first husband wanted me to do lots of things, things I was not comfortable with.

I carried this attribute into my current marriage as well. Junior has always appreciated my being available to him. He has been a generous lover as well. When I have been sick, had surgery, etc, he has not “demanded” that I fulfill my wifely duties. Junior truly wants me to enjoy our love making And I do. I am amazed at how wonderful our love life is. Over and over, I feel that Junior is my “first” lover. He has taught me the true gift of making love.

Our bodies are getting older. I am a lot drier and find that I need “help” not being so dry. Junior’s getting older as well. What we could do a few short years ago, we can’t. I tell Junior that I will wait for him, when he is ready. He likes that I will wait for him. He likes that I don’t demand that he perform.

We snuggle more now. I love being snuggled. It is precious to me. Our love is for each other and no one else. I like that. I sense that Junior likes me being a “one man” woman as well.

God has given us the beautiful gift of sex. It is to be enjoyed in marriage. It is to be enjoyed in healthy appropriate ways. One of the most beautiful books in the Bible is “Song of Solomon.” It talks about the love of a man and woman. Junior finds the book strange because of the metaphors. I find it beautiful, because of the love the man and woman share. God created sex. He wants us to enjoy it. That being said, God also wants us to enjoy it in the way He created it to be in the marriage relationship, not outside it, not with multiple partners, not in group sex or in homosexual relationships.

If you are not married, I urge you to wait. Studies have shown that when a couple engages in sex prior to marriage, their relationship tends to not grow from then on. If you are married, I urge you to share your love willingly. Be patient if your husband is stressed, has a struggle. If there is an ongoing problem, then seek help.

May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.

Love

Janet

Hebrews 13:4

Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and the sexually immoral.