April 4, 2009

Greetings My Friend,

The church where my parents attended before moving to Colorado was the church that looked after us when we came back to Michigan. Dad had polio and we were in desperate need. The charitable organizations back then would not help a family out if they had lived in the state for six months. It was our church who came to help us.

Through the years this church provided for many of our day to day needs. They got Dad a back brace and he taught himself to walk again. They provided food and clothes as well. My Mom found a job at a local hospital. Actually, Mom filled in for Grandma when she needed to have her gall bladder removed. From there Mom bid on different jobs and moved herself up in the hospital business. At one point, my parents wanted to be in their own home. The church came through again. This time they helped my parents to get a mortgage. It was amazing, because at that time, women could not get a mortgage. They got the mortgage in Dad's name, even though he was not working.

After we moved to our He did not make as much as Mom, but each dollar helped us stay afloat. Money was always a struggle for them. Dad was the one to pay the bills. Dad was the one home during the day. I remeber one day the phone rang. Dad told me to answer it. He stood very close to me smoking his cigarette, and blowing smoke in my face as I talked on the phone. He had told me to tell the person on the other end that he was not home. I was scared - very scared. Dad was very angry and the person on the other end of the phone was very mean. The person was a bill collector. Dad was late in paying the mortgage. I wound up with this job many times after that. Each time Dad would stand very close to me, anger pouring out of him. Each time the bill collector was very mean to me as I talked to him. The bill collector seemed to know that Dad was around.

I grew up. I married a man two weeks out of high school. he had graduated the year before me. I got a job working at the hospital where my mother worked. It was a good job for being right out of high school. I made decent money. My husband worked several jobs bouncing around from job to job. He handled the money - I liked that idea. He liked to write checks and didn't keep track of the check rigister. Many times there was no money in the checking account. One day at work, I received a phone call from a bill collector.

As I listend to the man on the other end of the line, I was once more the "scared little girl," of my past. I was transported right back to those days when Dad had made me talk to the bill collectors.When I got home that night I was an angry woman. We were living with friends at the time. We had been evictedf from our apartment due to paying out rent late. I ranted and raged. I tore up the check book. I told him that I never wanted anyone to ever call me at work again.

My husband and I settled down. We had children. We eventually bought a home together. When we bought the home, we went back to using a check book. I handled the checkbook. I sat many days balancing that check book. The first couple of years, we did have a few times where the mortgage company called. After that I never had to deal with bill collectors.

I was able to be home with our children when they were little for the most part. I did work part time and then quit when Mike needed to go to speech therapy. When he got into kindergarten, I again went back to work. As I re-entered the work force, it became difficult to handle the bills. We had two different checking accounts. I had a job at the bank and I got free checking. My husband felt that I spent too much time balancing the checkbooks and paying the bills.

My husband wanted what he wanted. I did not know how to finance all that he wanted. I got frustrated and I figured out what my income could support and gave him the rrest of the bills to handle. I paid the house note, the car payment and car insurance. He had to pay the rest. This worked well for the rest of our marriage.

As I entered marriage with Junior, I was well aware of my disdain for bill collectors, my anal attidude about money. I told Junior how I was. I told him that I never wanted a bill collector to call me. I also had a need to handle some of the bills. My ex-husband often told me when I was an at home mother, that he owned everything and I owned nothing. I had a need to be part of the bill paying, bread winning team.

Junior likes to spend money. It makes him happy. He also does not worry about bill collectors like I do. We both paid some of the bills for the first several years of our marriage. As I came to retirement, I found that I was ready to trust Junior. It is strange but it took me 10 years to feel safe and not need to help out. Junior knows my thoughts on money. He now handles our finances. I love not worrying. I also now hear Junior coming around to the way I think. That pleases me a whole lot. I still have moments where I want to panic. Now, I talk to God and often I feel safe.

May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.

Love

Janet

Proverbs 10:4
Being lazy will make you poor, but hard work will make you rich.

Proverbs 12:24
Hard work will give you power; being lazy will make you a slave.