2nd try.

Greetings My Friend,

I recently had a fight with a loved one. It wasn't pretty lots of nasty words went back and forth between us. We seem to go into a tailspin more often lately. I hung up confused and upset.

I went to prayer. I struggled to stay focused on the problem. I found myself reliving the scene over and over. As I started to re-focus I saw a picture. Sometimes God shows me pictures. I saw the wooden cross where Jesus was crucified. Generally I see Jesus hanging on the cross. This time I did not. What I saw was a blood soaked, blood stained cross.

"Lord?" I asked. "Why the blood on the Cross?" God showed me the blood soaking into the cross and seemed to be pointing out that my hurt, my sin was being soaked into the cross. God was telling me that He heard my cry. It seemed that God was also telling me that He loved me.

Again, I found myself walking through the last moments of Jesus' life. Again, I found that Jesus truly knows the hurt I was feeling. This time, I felt that God was trying to comfort me. Still I found myself struggling, reliving the words we had said.

I was trying hard to "Let go, Let God." For several days I struggled. Prayer time found me reliving the situation. Finally, I decided that I would pray out lound. When I prayed out loud, I found comfort. I was able to let go.

When I was going through counseling, I found that I often struggled to put the hurts behind me. I relived the pain over and over. Ray, my counselor taught me one time that deep wounds heal from the inside to the outside. That was a wonderful lesson for me. I found that many times I thought I had settled a situation only to have it come back again. Ray was teaching me that the wounds in my heart tend to heal slowly. It may take many tries before I can release it fully.

The picture of the blood soaked cross seemed to teach me that my pain is heard by God. God wanted to absorb my pain. Sometimes though, the pain takes time to heal, like deep wounds in the flesh do.

Each time I saw the picture in my mind's eye I found myself letting go a little more. I found a gentle peace coming into my soul. God also started putting people in my path to help me as well. My long time friend helped me to see where I got lost. Another friend just listened as I tried to make sense of the siuation.

Once more, I learned that forgiveness is a process. It is not always done in an instant. God only asks that I try. In trying, He helps me put the struggle to rest. As I put the struggle to rest, I find that I can truly move on.

Sunday is Easter. I pray that you meet Jesus, that you let Him be the Lord of your life. I have found that Jesus loves each one of us - as if we were the only one in the whole world. To me it is wonderful knowing that I am special, a precious one of a kind of woman. When I mess up, it is such comfort to know that if I confess, then Jesus will forgive me, give me the strength I need to face whatever situation I am in.

May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.

Love
Janet

Luke 23:34
Jesus said, "Forgive them Father! They don't know what they are doing."

Matthew 6:14-15
"If you forgive others the wrongs they have done to you, your Father in heaven will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive the wrongs you have done.