March 14, 2009

Exodus 20: 12
Respect your father and mother, so that you may live a long time in the land I am giving you.

Ephesians 4:29
Do not use harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed, so that what you say will do good to those who hear you.

Greetings My Friend,

As I write this, I am in a reflective thought process. I get this way at certain times. The anniversary of my divorce has come and gone. Mom and Dad’s, Grandma’s anniversary of their dying are on my mind as they come near. I have been thinking a lot about Irene – my mother-in-law’s passing. The first few years were painful when I thought about them. As the years pass though, I try to remember. I try to let their lives speak to me, so that I can somehow move forward – onward.

One of the greatest pleasure’s I have is when I wake up and I hear Junior’s movements about the house. I truly love hearing him, be him. I love listening to him put dishes in the cupboard from the dishwasher. I love the gentle ping of glass or the gentle bang of a pan. It is music to my ears. Sometimes I hear him talk to one of our cats in a gentle loving manner. Other times he may be getting washed up and I hear the water run in the bathroom. I never knew such gentleness growing up. It is wonderful to feel safe, to feel loved. Junior reflects Jesus’ love to me almost daily
Growing up was hard. Dad had polio. Mom had to be the main bread winner. Both were very angry people. Dad’s anger came out in violent ways. Mom’s anger was in biting and sarcastic words. They raised us the best they could, money was tight. Mom was up half the night. She often sewed clothes for us and then went to work. Later she went back to school, so that we might live a little better. Mom’s favorite saying really sums up her attitude, “When life gives you lemons – make lemonade.”

I have a lot of emotional pain. The anger that I grew up with impacted me greatly. Now that I am the “older generation,” I find that my parents did what they could with what they had. Since the fall of Adam and Eve no generation has “done” it right. Each should have, you fill in the blank. My kids have a lot of emotional pain from how they were raised. Unfortunately, since they hit 18, they have had to deal with the junk they grew up with – a lot of it not very pretty. Again I come back to the fall of Adam and Eve. We really can’t be perfect parents, people without allowing Jesus to enter our hearts and change us. I pray that you can forgive your parents. I pray that you ask God how to raise your children. That is the best way to handle life – the good and bad parts of life.

May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.

Love
Janet