March 21, 2009
Greetings My Friend,
When my son Mike was little, he had a lot of challenges. The first one was that he cried for hours on end, days on end. Finding the source of his discomfort was a challenge. When we visited friends and family, I often heard, “Oh no here they come”, because Mike would cry so much. I consistently reported Mike’s problems to the doctor. Mostly the doctor thought that I was babying Mike too much. One time though, the doctor looked inside Mike’s ears. His ear drum was inverted, he could not hear and he was having nasty ear aches, the kind that hurt a lot! Because of that situation, I found a need to tell people what I learned with Mike, in life in general.
I was at the gym working out in the pool a while back. I had a conversation that I reflect back on quite a bit. Actually at one point in my life, I remember buying into this lady’s thoughts. Anyway, the conversation turned toward life in general. I often tell people that I am in my second marriage. I did it wrong the first time, this time I asked God and He has placed me with a man I feel safe with.
I mentioned that my first marriage was for 24 years and it was abusive. There was lots of anger etc. I also mentioned that I had a rough childhood as well. I don’t tell these things to get pity. I truly want to help people. I want to offer hope. I have found the hope I have is not in the psychology classes, counseling sessions I went through. The hope I have is in Jesus Christ. When I divorced, I prayed a whole lot, more than I had ever done before in my life. I did not want to repeat the mistakes I had made the first time. As I prayed I started to find hope and healing.
This lady at the gym suggested that I would have been better off aborted, never being born because of all the pain of life. Instantly, I felt angry. I am glad I was born. I am glad I have seen the other side of abuse. I am glad that God loves me enough to make me whole and new. I see that my life has value. That in itself is a huge blessing. Now I try to reach out to the lost, lonely and hurting people. I was once lost, but now am found – found by Jesus.
I love bringing hope to people. I love bringing Jesus’ redeeming love to people. I count it pure joy. My daughter hasn’t really talked to me in 9-10 years. It hurts, a lot at times. I am sad for the hurt she feels whether it was caused by me or her Dad. God has helped me move from constant pain and despair. At work there was a young lady who allowed me to love her. I have a niece who allows me to love her. God brings me young women and I still get to be “mom.” So, I am grateful that I was never aborted. I am grateful to have found Jesus.
As I write this, I know some of you have had an abortion. Give it to God. He is the great healer and He can use you to help another person in pain – often what you have felt can now be used to help another.
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Jeremiah 29:6
Marry and have children. Then let your children get married, so that they also may have children. You must increase in numbers and not decrease.
Jeremiah 29: 11-12
I alone know the plans I have for you, plans to bring you prosperity and not disaster, plans to bring about the future you hope for. Then you will call to me, and I will answer you.
Psalm 139:13
You created every part of me; you put me together in my mother’s womb.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
March 28, 2009
Greetings My Friend,
I’m having one of those moments. I want to believe God and at the same time I feel some panic. Last year when I retired I felt the wise decision would be to retire in September. It made sense. In September, I would be able to collect my small pension. I would be able to buy health insurance through my employer. As Junior and I prayed though, we felt that June was when I was to retire. I could get Junior’s insurance. The only problem was that Junior needed to be retired for another 6 years for me to get insurance for the rest of my life. He has insurance through Tricare – due to his injury in Viet Nam he is considered retired from the military and has that insurance. He became disabled where he could not work anymore about 4 ½ years ago. He has to be 100% disabled for 10 years for me to get this insurance.
We retired me. We felt God’s hand on us. All summer we saw the stock market fall way, way low. My money was given to our Financial Planner and he has put the brunt of our money into cash. I’ve been thanking God a whole lot. It did not make sense to me and then as I watched the stock market fall, well I’ve been in awe of God’s wonderful provision.
Junior had surgery recently. He had some lumps for years. I asked him about them when we were dating – he had them for years prior to our dating. I didn’t think much about them. After the surgery, the surgeon asked me if Junior was in Viet Nam. Yes, he was. She said that more than likely the lumps were from Agent Orange. I felt a wave of panic. I told her that he has two more lumps on him, on his legs. Now I wanted all those lumps gone. I hated them. I was scared. She told me to have Junior bring them to her attention when he came for his follow up.
My heart started talking to God almost right away. “Lord, we asked if we could be married 50 years. Father, Junior helps me to know you, to trust you.” And so went my conversations with my Heavenly Father.
God reminded me that He is taking care of me. He showed me how he has protected our income. He showed me how he brought me to Junior in the first place and how I have been protected and watched after. He reminded me that He knows I need Junior’s health insurance. He kept bringing to my attention all the details of His care for me. Then He started showing me how He has taught Junior to take vitamin supplements, to exercise and how well Junior has done. He reminded me that Junior worked in a chemical factory for 38 years. “Okay, Lord” my heart responded.
I still want those lumps gone. I now hate them. At the same time, I feel a peace. God does know what I need, what we all need. He brought me to Junior when I was a lost and lonely woman. Junior has watched over me and has helped me know the love of Jesus. Junior taught me to pray in the middle of the night when I had nightmares - when I dreamt that my ex husband wanted to kill me. So, I trust God will provide. It may not be what I think I want – but God will provide. He always does.
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Proverbs 3:5
Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Never rely on what you think you know.
Micah 7
But I will watch for the Lord; I will wait confidently for God, who will save me. My God will hear me.
Greetings My Friend,
I’m having one of those moments. I want to believe God and at the same time I feel some panic. Last year when I retired I felt the wise decision would be to retire in September. It made sense. In September, I would be able to collect my small pension. I would be able to buy health insurance through my employer. As Junior and I prayed though, we felt that June was when I was to retire. I could get Junior’s insurance. The only problem was that Junior needed to be retired for another 6 years for me to get insurance for the rest of my life. He has insurance through Tricare – due to his injury in Viet Nam he is considered retired from the military and has that insurance. He became disabled where he could not work anymore about 4 ½ years ago. He has to be 100% disabled for 10 years for me to get this insurance.
We retired me. We felt God’s hand on us. All summer we saw the stock market fall way, way low. My money was given to our Financial Planner and he has put the brunt of our money into cash. I’ve been thanking God a whole lot. It did not make sense to me and then as I watched the stock market fall, well I’ve been in awe of God’s wonderful provision.
Junior had surgery recently. He had some lumps for years. I asked him about them when we were dating – he had them for years prior to our dating. I didn’t think much about them. After the surgery, the surgeon asked me if Junior was in Viet Nam. Yes, he was. She said that more than likely the lumps were from Agent Orange. I felt a wave of panic. I told her that he has two more lumps on him, on his legs. Now I wanted all those lumps gone. I hated them. I was scared. She told me to have Junior bring them to her attention when he came for his follow up.
My heart started talking to God almost right away. “Lord, we asked if we could be married 50 years. Father, Junior helps me to know you, to trust you.” And so went my conversations with my Heavenly Father.
God reminded me that He is taking care of me. He showed me how he has protected our income. He showed me how he brought me to Junior in the first place and how I have been protected and watched after. He reminded me that He knows I need Junior’s health insurance. He kept bringing to my attention all the details of His care for me. Then He started showing me how He has taught Junior to take vitamin supplements, to exercise and how well Junior has done. He reminded me that Junior worked in a chemical factory for 38 years. “Okay, Lord” my heart responded.
I still want those lumps gone. I now hate them. At the same time, I feel a peace. God does know what I need, what we all need. He brought me to Junior when I was a lost and lonely woman. Junior has watched over me and has helped me know the love of Jesus. Junior taught me to pray in the middle of the night when I had nightmares - when I dreamt that my ex husband wanted to kill me. So, I trust God will provide. It may not be what I think I want – but God will provide. He always does.
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Proverbs 3:5
Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Never rely on what you think you know.
Micah 7
But I will watch for the Lord; I will wait confidently for God, who will save me. My God will hear me.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
March 14, 2009
Exodus 20: 12
Respect your father and mother, so that you may live a long time in the land I am giving you.
Ephesians 4:29
Do not use harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed, so that what you say will do good to those who hear you.
Greetings My Friend,
As I write this, I am in a reflective thought process. I get this way at certain times. The anniversary of my divorce has come and gone. Mom and Dad’s, Grandma’s anniversary of their dying are on my mind as they come near. I have been thinking a lot about Irene – my mother-in-law’s passing. The first few years were painful when I thought about them. As the years pass though, I try to remember. I try to let their lives speak to me, so that I can somehow move forward – onward.
One of the greatest pleasure’s I have is when I wake up and I hear Junior’s movements about the house. I truly love hearing him, be him. I love listening to him put dishes in the cupboard from the dishwasher. I love the gentle ping of glass or the gentle bang of a pan. It is music to my ears. Sometimes I hear him talk to one of our cats in a gentle loving manner. Other times he may be getting washed up and I hear the water run in the bathroom. I never knew such gentleness growing up. It is wonderful to feel safe, to feel loved. Junior reflects Jesus’ love to me almost daily
Growing up was hard. Dad had polio. Mom had to be the main bread winner. Both were very angry people. Dad’s anger came out in violent ways. Mom’s anger was in biting and sarcastic words. They raised us the best they could, money was tight. Mom was up half the night. She often sewed clothes for us and then went to work. Later she went back to school, so that we might live a little better. Mom’s favorite saying really sums up her attitude, “When life gives you lemons – make lemonade.”
I have a lot of emotional pain. The anger that I grew up with impacted me greatly. Now that I am the “older generation,” I find that my parents did what they could with what they had. Since the fall of Adam and Eve no generation has “done” it right. Each should have, you fill in the blank. My kids have a lot of emotional pain from how they were raised. Unfortunately, since they hit 18, they have had to deal with the junk they grew up with – a lot of it not very pretty. Again I come back to the fall of Adam and Eve. We really can’t be perfect parents, people without allowing Jesus to enter our hearts and change us. I pray that you can forgive your parents. I pray that you ask God how to raise your children. That is the best way to handle life – the good and bad parts of life.
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Exodus 20: 12
Respect your father and mother, so that you may live a long time in the land I am giving you.
Ephesians 4:29
Do not use harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed, so that what you say will do good to those who hear you.
Greetings My Friend,
As I write this, I am in a reflective thought process. I get this way at certain times. The anniversary of my divorce has come and gone. Mom and Dad’s, Grandma’s anniversary of their dying are on my mind as they come near. I have been thinking a lot about Irene – my mother-in-law’s passing. The first few years were painful when I thought about them. As the years pass though, I try to remember. I try to let their lives speak to me, so that I can somehow move forward – onward.
One of the greatest pleasure’s I have is when I wake up and I hear Junior’s movements about the house. I truly love hearing him, be him. I love listening to him put dishes in the cupboard from the dishwasher. I love the gentle ping of glass or the gentle bang of a pan. It is music to my ears. Sometimes I hear him talk to one of our cats in a gentle loving manner. Other times he may be getting washed up and I hear the water run in the bathroom. I never knew such gentleness growing up. It is wonderful to feel safe, to feel loved. Junior reflects Jesus’ love to me almost daily
Growing up was hard. Dad had polio. Mom had to be the main bread winner. Both were very angry people. Dad’s anger came out in violent ways. Mom’s anger was in biting and sarcastic words. They raised us the best they could, money was tight. Mom was up half the night. She often sewed clothes for us and then went to work. Later she went back to school, so that we might live a little better. Mom’s favorite saying really sums up her attitude, “When life gives you lemons – make lemonade.”
I have a lot of emotional pain. The anger that I grew up with impacted me greatly. Now that I am the “older generation,” I find that my parents did what they could with what they had. Since the fall of Adam and Eve no generation has “done” it right. Each should have, you fill in the blank. My kids have a lot of emotional pain from how they were raised. Unfortunately, since they hit 18, they have had to deal with the junk they grew up with – a lot of it not very pretty. Again I come back to the fall of Adam and Eve. We really can’t be perfect parents, people without allowing Jesus to enter our hearts and change us. I pray that you can forgive your parents. I pray that you ask God how to raise your children. That is the best way to handle life – the good and bad parts of life.
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Friday, March 6, 2009
March 7, 2009
Proverbs 20:19
As water reflects a face, so a man’s heart reflects the man.
Proverbs 14:3
A heart at peace gives life to the body but envy rots the bones.
Greetings My Friend,
One of the things I love about Junior is that he is steadfast, he does not change, and he is who he is. I feel so safe with him, because there is no hidden agenda in him. When we were dating I loved to tell him that I was looking for boring. I was so ready to leave a roller coaster life behind.
I love listening to Junior move around the house. I usually hear his movements as I wake up in the mornings. He will empty the dishwasher, talk to one of the cats or I hear him in the bathroom shaving, brushing his teeth. It is a sweet sound to my ears.
In my other life we tried to get up and get out of the house in a hurry before “he” got up and around. He liked to wake up cranky. He liked to make all of us miserable because he didn’t like mornings. It wasn’t like we could be quiet until he woke up and then he would be friendly. He had to hurt someone’s feelings in the process of waking up. It was no fun being around him in the mornings.
In my new life, I love the quietness of it all. I used to hate quiet. I was not comfortable with quiet. Quiet scared me. Quiet often meant there was a lot of anger and soon there would be a huge blow up. With Junior though, quiet is peaceful and its okay.
Quietness now is often time I spend alone with the Lord. Quietness is time to contemplate life. I relish the quiet life we live. With Junior, I am not afraid. With Junior I can talk to him when life is uncertain. He lets me repeat myself. I need to repeat things. It helps me put life in perspective.
Junior and I live a very quiet life. I love it. We don’t need to be loud. We don’t need to be angry. We just enjoy life. When we do have struggles, we tend to go to prayer. In prayer I have found many answers. God sometimes points out how to react to Junior. I am learning that he sees life from another angle from me. God is teaching me to accept our differences. He is teaching me to love Junior for who he is.
The best thing is that I can accept Junior’s differences. Junior is not me. He is Junior and I have come to love him, even when his differences are foreign to me. For a time, Junior liked to talk in our Sunday School Class. He could be rather blatant about his opinions. I hate to make a scene. God has taught me to accept Junior, even when he has an opinion and wants to share it.
Because Junior is in love with Jesus, I wind up feeling safe. Because Junior listens to God in prayer and Bible Study, he reflects a peace that makes me feel safe. The more we keep God/Jesus at the center of our lives we find that we accept our differences and aren’t as apt to try to change each other. We tend to accept our differences as the unique person that God is creating us to be.
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Proverbs 20:19
As water reflects a face, so a man’s heart reflects the man.
Proverbs 14:3
A heart at peace gives life to the body but envy rots the bones.
Greetings My Friend,
One of the things I love about Junior is that he is steadfast, he does not change, and he is who he is. I feel so safe with him, because there is no hidden agenda in him. When we were dating I loved to tell him that I was looking for boring. I was so ready to leave a roller coaster life behind.
I love listening to Junior move around the house. I usually hear his movements as I wake up in the mornings. He will empty the dishwasher, talk to one of the cats or I hear him in the bathroom shaving, brushing his teeth. It is a sweet sound to my ears.
In my other life we tried to get up and get out of the house in a hurry before “he” got up and around. He liked to wake up cranky. He liked to make all of us miserable because he didn’t like mornings. It wasn’t like we could be quiet until he woke up and then he would be friendly. He had to hurt someone’s feelings in the process of waking up. It was no fun being around him in the mornings.
In my new life, I love the quietness of it all. I used to hate quiet. I was not comfortable with quiet. Quiet scared me. Quiet often meant there was a lot of anger and soon there would be a huge blow up. With Junior though, quiet is peaceful and its okay.
Quietness now is often time I spend alone with the Lord. Quietness is time to contemplate life. I relish the quiet life we live. With Junior, I am not afraid. With Junior I can talk to him when life is uncertain. He lets me repeat myself. I need to repeat things. It helps me put life in perspective.
Junior and I live a very quiet life. I love it. We don’t need to be loud. We don’t need to be angry. We just enjoy life. When we do have struggles, we tend to go to prayer. In prayer I have found many answers. God sometimes points out how to react to Junior. I am learning that he sees life from another angle from me. God is teaching me to accept our differences. He is teaching me to love Junior for who he is.
The best thing is that I can accept Junior’s differences. Junior is not me. He is Junior and I have come to love him, even when his differences are foreign to me. For a time, Junior liked to talk in our Sunday School Class. He could be rather blatant about his opinions. I hate to make a scene. God has taught me to accept Junior, even when he has an opinion and wants to share it.
Because Junior is in love with Jesus, I wind up feeling safe. Because Junior listens to God in prayer and Bible Study, he reflects a peace that makes me feel safe. The more we keep God/Jesus at the center of our lives we find that we accept our differences and aren’t as apt to try to change each other. We tend to accept our differences as the unique person that God is creating us to be.
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
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