February 28, 2009
Genesis 3:16
And he said to the woman, “I will increase your trouble in pregnancy and your pain in giving birth. In spite of this, you will still have desire for your husband, yet you will be subject to him.
Ephesians 5:21-22
Submit yourselves to one another because of your reverence for Christ. Wives, submit yourselves to your husband’s as to the Lord. For a husband has authority over his wife just as Christ has authority over the church; and Christ is himself the Savior of the church, his body.
As the 10th anniversary of my mother’s death draws near, I find myself to be contemplative. There was a point where I realized I could not listen to her advice for my life. I remember being sad at that realization. Part of my reflection also takes me back to my counseling with Ray. Ray was like a father for me. I trusted him like I had never trusted a man, in my life. He had become like a Dad to me. I felt safe with Ray.
I started counseling with Ray prior to my first marriage breaking up. I stayed with him as I went through divorce and after I met Junior. Junior started attending my counseling sessions with me. He wanted to understand what I was struggling with.
One of the first things Ray had me do when Junior entered into counseling with me was to look to Junior for answerers to my struggles. I found that strange, hard and wasn’t sure how to do it. I had gotten into the habit of trying to figure out how to handle life on my own. I learned early in life to trust my own instincts. Trusting others was difficult for me to do.
As the Executor of my mother’s will, I had to make some decisions. As the eldest child, I often was given the responsibility of making decisions. To be honest, I was unsure of myself. I am a people pleaser and when you are in charge – well, someone is always unhappy with your decisions. I am also an enabler and that is not good either. Many times I’d rather enable someone than help them help themselves. During the decisions I needed to make, Junior would advise me. I tended to not hear him. At one point he threw up his hands and told me not to come to him for answers. We talked to Ray about the situation. Ray guided me to listen to Junior, to trust that Junior had my best at heart. I did as Junior suggested and I found peace in my heart.
This situation taught me to look to Junior, to trust him. I am not as afraid to let Junior guide anymore. I am able to listen to Junior and down deep I know that I can trust him. Through prayer, Bible study I am able to listen to God as well. Does Junior make mistakes? Yes he does. Still I trust that he will seek my/our highest good.
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Friday, February 27, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
February 21, 2009
Proverbs 14:21
If you want to be happy, be kind to the poor: it is a sin to despise anyone.
Greetings My Friend,
To me one of the best lessons I have learned is the lesson on giving. My nature tends to want to hold on to money. I grew up in a poor family and money was always tight. We lived off of Mom’s income which wasn’t much. When Dad was able to work again after polio, he earned very little. Money was a constant struggle as I grew up. We were given clothes from people from our church. We often got bulk cheese and powdered milk to help supplement our food. Grandma’s work in a kitchen at the hospital would send food home with her so we could eat. Because of generous people my family always had food to eat and I never missed a meal as I grew up.
As I found myself back in church when my children were little I found that giving was often a life line for me. I volunteered to be a youth advisor at my church. It was a job I loved and did for around 15 years. I loved those teens and they loved me. It was wonderful being loved. I did not feel loved as a child. I did not feel loved as a wife. With the teens though, I felt so loved And wanted. That was my first walk with giving. Giving to the teens was so good for me. They helped me to focus outside myself. That act of giving of my time was really the start of growing out of much depression.
When Junior and I started talking about getting married we talked about giving. It was important to both of us. I tended to give of my time. I had learned to look outside of myself and to reach out. In that I found a lot of healing. I still went through years and years of counseling, but the youth helped me to move through a lot of my emotional pain. Junior believed in tithing at least 10% of his income to the Lord. The tithing part was something I was working toward. When he told me that he wanted to tithe well, I thought that we should.
I am sooo very happy that we have kept the tithing we both brought to our marriage. Junior is willing to help others out. We have done missions trips. We have helped orphans in Nicagura. We have helped the poor in Tennessee by fixing their homes and we have helped people in Detroit as well. In addition we have helped a Missionary in France – a couple Junior has helped support for close to 20 years now. We give freely to our church as well. Tithing has blessed us so much. Tithing makes us aware of others that are in need. When we help others in need, we honor God. When we keep Jesus as our main focus, then we have peace in our life. Do we have hard days? Yes, by all means we do. Through all the trials that life brings our way though, we find a peace.
May I suggest that you begin a tithing journey? It could be as simple as helping out at a soup kitchen, donating to Salvation Army or helping in some sort of help organization. Giving of your money is also important. We are what we spend our money on, what does your money spending say about you?
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Proverbs 14:21
If you want to be happy, be kind to the poor: it is a sin to despise anyone.
Greetings My Friend,
To me one of the best lessons I have learned is the lesson on giving. My nature tends to want to hold on to money. I grew up in a poor family and money was always tight. We lived off of Mom’s income which wasn’t much. When Dad was able to work again after polio, he earned very little. Money was a constant struggle as I grew up. We were given clothes from people from our church. We often got bulk cheese and powdered milk to help supplement our food. Grandma’s work in a kitchen at the hospital would send food home with her so we could eat. Because of generous people my family always had food to eat and I never missed a meal as I grew up.
As I found myself back in church when my children were little I found that giving was often a life line for me. I volunteered to be a youth advisor at my church. It was a job I loved and did for around 15 years. I loved those teens and they loved me. It was wonderful being loved. I did not feel loved as a child. I did not feel loved as a wife. With the teens though, I felt so loved And wanted. That was my first walk with giving. Giving to the teens was so good for me. They helped me to focus outside myself. That act of giving of my time was really the start of growing out of much depression.
When Junior and I started talking about getting married we talked about giving. It was important to both of us. I tended to give of my time. I had learned to look outside of myself and to reach out. In that I found a lot of healing. I still went through years and years of counseling, but the youth helped me to move through a lot of my emotional pain. Junior believed in tithing at least 10% of his income to the Lord. The tithing part was something I was working toward. When he told me that he wanted to tithe well, I thought that we should.
I am sooo very happy that we have kept the tithing we both brought to our marriage. Junior is willing to help others out. We have done missions trips. We have helped orphans in Nicagura. We have helped the poor in Tennessee by fixing their homes and we have helped people in Detroit as well. In addition we have helped a Missionary in France – a couple Junior has helped support for close to 20 years now. We give freely to our church as well. Tithing has blessed us so much. Tithing makes us aware of others that are in need. When we help others in need, we honor God. When we keep Jesus as our main focus, then we have peace in our life. Do we have hard days? Yes, by all means we do. Through all the trials that life brings our way though, we find a peace.
May I suggest that you begin a tithing journey? It could be as simple as helping out at a soup kitchen, donating to Salvation Army or helping in some sort of help organization. Giving of your money is also important. We are what we spend our money on, what does your money spending say about you?
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Friday, February 13, 2009
February 14, 2009
Song of Songs 2:16
My lover is mine, and I am his.
Greetings My Friend,
Today is Valentine’s Day – a day of romance. To be honest I thought I was not a very romantic woman. I thought Junior and I were not very romantic in nature. We love to go on Marriage Retreats. These retreats have taught us a lot about being married. We usually get a packet with suggestions for romantic activities to indulge in during the retreat. We will have free time during the weekend to be alone and try out some of the suggestions.
Some of the suggestions made me think I was not a romantic person. There was the letting the man comb the woman’s hair – Yuck! How about a picnic on the hotel room floor – Yew! There was the suggestion for a bubble bath together – No Thanks! How about a foot massage! Not for me! Still the seminars were always great. We learned so much and it was worth going.
As the years have passed, I have found that Junior and I do have a romance between us. It is not a Hallmark romance. We aren’t fond of fancy restaurants. I have found that we do have our special moments though. When we were dating Junior told me he loved a woman in flannel pajamas. Not bad… I could deal with that. I found that Junior loves to see me in my tee shirt and underpants as well. That’s me and he likes it. Yeah!
We love to shop. I have so much fun shopping with him. He loves to go to the discount rack and search through each item, looking for that “find.” I fell in love with that right off the bat. Many Friday nights when we worked, we went grocery shopping. It was a date for us - we had fun – we sometimes kissed in the aisle when the aisle was empty. That was so much fun to me. In my first marriage Home Depot was a night mare. I found that with Junior it was actually fun. I remember walking up on him one time. He had a power tool in his hand and he was making the sound of the power tool. I found that because he was willing to do “girl” shopping, I didn’t mind doing “guy” shopping. It was fun.
We were talking to our nutritionist recently about dating. I stated that if a guy is willing to do a “girl” type of romantic activity, then the girl should also be willing to a “guy” type of romantic activity. It might mean that they go out to a nice restaurant for her and for him, they go shooting. I am starting to see that what I find romantic does not mean it is for Junior.
I find that guys love to do guy things. When we were dating our men, many of us were
willing to do that with them. Guys seem to like us being near them and then when we marry them, we decide we don’t want to do that anymore.
Maybe as you do something for Valentine’s Day, you might want to surprise your guy and do his manly thing he loves, like going to the gun range, bowling, fixing on an antique car.
I also would like to suggest that you do frequent date nights with your husband. It is important for your marriage to stay in tune with each other. Again, date night does not have to be expensive. When we were working and tired sometimes our date night was to watch a video. Sometimes we find old furniture and refurbish it. Take time to be alone with each other, to talk about your dreams. When you do that, you are truly keeping your marriage alive.
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Song of Songs 2:16
My lover is mine, and I am his.
Greetings My Friend,
Today is Valentine’s Day – a day of romance. To be honest I thought I was not a very romantic woman. I thought Junior and I were not very romantic in nature. We love to go on Marriage Retreats. These retreats have taught us a lot about being married. We usually get a packet with suggestions for romantic activities to indulge in during the retreat. We will have free time during the weekend to be alone and try out some of the suggestions.
Some of the suggestions made me think I was not a romantic person. There was the letting the man comb the woman’s hair – Yuck! How about a picnic on the hotel room floor – Yew! There was the suggestion for a bubble bath together – No Thanks! How about a foot massage! Not for me! Still the seminars were always great. We learned so much and it was worth going.
As the years have passed, I have found that Junior and I do have a romance between us. It is not a Hallmark romance. We aren’t fond of fancy restaurants. I have found that we do have our special moments though. When we were dating Junior told me he loved a woman in flannel pajamas. Not bad… I could deal with that. I found that Junior loves to see me in my tee shirt and underpants as well. That’s me and he likes it. Yeah!
We love to shop. I have so much fun shopping with him. He loves to go to the discount rack and search through each item, looking for that “find.” I fell in love with that right off the bat. Many Friday nights when we worked, we went grocery shopping. It was a date for us - we had fun – we sometimes kissed in the aisle when the aisle was empty. That was so much fun to me. In my first marriage Home Depot was a night mare. I found that with Junior it was actually fun. I remember walking up on him one time. He had a power tool in his hand and he was making the sound of the power tool. I found that because he was willing to do “girl” shopping, I didn’t mind doing “guy” shopping. It was fun.
We were talking to our nutritionist recently about dating. I stated that if a guy is willing to do a “girl” type of romantic activity, then the girl should also be willing to a “guy” type of romantic activity. It might mean that they go out to a nice restaurant for her and for him, they go shooting. I am starting to see that what I find romantic does not mean it is for Junior.
I find that guys love to do guy things. When we were dating our men, many of us were
willing to do that with them. Guys seem to like us being near them and then when we marry them, we decide we don’t want to do that anymore.
Maybe as you do something for Valentine’s Day, you might want to surprise your guy and do his manly thing he loves, like going to the gun range, bowling, fixing on an antique car.
I also would like to suggest that you do frequent date nights with your husband. It is important for your marriage to stay in tune with each other. Again, date night does not have to be expensive. When we were working and tired sometimes our date night was to watch a video. Sometimes we find old furniture and refurbish it. Take time to be alone with each other, to talk about your dreams. When you do that, you are truly keeping your marriage alive.
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Friday, February 6, 2009
February 7, 2009
Proverbs 15:13
When people are happy they smile, but when they are sad, they look depressed.
Proverbs 15:30
Smiling faces make you happy, and good news makes you feel better.
Proverbs 17:22
Being cheerful keeps you healthy. It is slow death to be gloomy all the time.
Greetings My Friend,
Retirement has made me much too serious. I’ve dealt with neck stiffness, with hypoglycemia, and extreme tiredness. I’ve spent time contemplating the down turn in my health. At times I had felt like I was fighting my way out of a paper bag. As I thought about this I realized that I’ve spent a lifetime in stress. I was a stressed out child. I wanted to please my parents. I can remember my Dad telling me over and over that he had given up on me. I wanted to please my Dad, to make him proud of me and somehow I was not able to do that.
Mom was not proud of me either. Lately when I look back on our relationship, I realize that I was a mistake she could not hide or pretend away. She got pregnant with me prior to marriage – at a time when to do so meant you were cheap. I was also the eldest and I was to set an example for my sister (11 months younger than me) and for my brother (who is two years younger than me.)
As I have contemplated my life, I see that stress was all I knew. As a child I had many struggles with stress stomach aces. In my first marriage, I often struggled with severe stomach aches – doubled over ones. I started a new job a few months prior to my marriage to Junior. I was also a recently divorced woman and 13 months after we were married my mother died. I struggled with irritable bowel syndrome for a couple of years. Six years into our marriage, I had breast cancer. To be honest, I found working the last four years prior to retirement to be stressful. I liked what I did; still it was getting too much for me. So I came to retirement a tired woman.
Last fall Floozy, our garage cat gave birth to another batch of kittens. Those babies were precious. It is fun watching them grow into playful balls of fur. In this batch there was a special little girl that kept our attention. She is gray with a white eye liner look around her eyes. One time she ran over to Junior rolled over on her back and seemed to beg for him to rub her belly. We kept telling ourselves that we did not need another kitten. We had Alex and Blanko already. As life dealt their struggles, these boys snuggled us and we had many laughs at their antics. Alex is now 13 and Blanko is 9.
The gray kitten made her way into our home and into our hearts. We call her Sara or knot head. She is makes us laugh – laughter we had let go of. Right away Sara decided that Blanko was “mom.” Since Blanko is heavily medicated due to seizures, he tends to be shall we say, “Laid back.” Sara thinks Blanko is “mom.” She snuggles him and likes to take pieces of his fur and pretends she is nursing. When she tried that with Alex, he hissed at her.
Sara runs all over the house. Sara thinks everything she touches is to be played with. Junior and I have had so many laughs. She has brought life to Blanko. She plays with Alex and once he realized she was here to stay, he loves watching her and playing with her.
This little girl has brought life back to our home. Junior and I have started being silly with each other again. We laugh with each other and have renewed the love we truly enjoy in being husband and wife. Junior and I had been able to laugh throughout our many trials in the past. My retirement seemed to take away our laughter. Our commitment to each other was still there, though we were struggling in our own private struggle. Now we are laughing again, enjoying our unique sense of humor. Praise the Lord!
May you find laughter in your life again today. Laughter truly is good for the soul.
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Proverbs 15:13
When people are happy they smile, but when they are sad, they look depressed.
Proverbs 15:30
Smiling faces make you happy, and good news makes you feel better.
Proverbs 17:22
Being cheerful keeps you healthy. It is slow death to be gloomy all the time.
Greetings My Friend,
Retirement has made me much too serious. I’ve dealt with neck stiffness, with hypoglycemia, and extreme tiredness. I’ve spent time contemplating the down turn in my health. At times I had felt like I was fighting my way out of a paper bag. As I thought about this I realized that I’ve spent a lifetime in stress. I was a stressed out child. I wanted to please my parents. I can remember my Dad telling me over and over that he had given up on me. I wanted to please my Dad, to make him proud of me and somehow I was not able to do that.
Mom was not proud of me either. Lately when I look back on our relationship, I realize that I was a mistake she could not hide or pretend away. She got pregnant with me prior to marriage – at a time when to do so meant you were cheap. I was also the eldest and I was to set an example for my sister (11 months younger than me) and for my brother (who is two years younger than me.)
As I have contemplated my life, I see that stress was all I knew. As a child I had many struggles with stress stomach aces. In my first marriage, I often struggled with severe stomach aches – doubled over ones. I started a new job a few months prior to my marriage to Junior. I was also a recently divorced woman and 13 months after we were married my mother died. I struggled with irritable bowel syndrome for a couple of years. Six years into our marriage, I had breast cancer. To be honest, I found working the last four years prior to retirement to be stressful. I liked what I did; still it was getting too much for me. So I came to retirement a tired woman.
Last fall Floozy, our garage cat gave birth to another batch of kittens. Those babies were precious. It is fun watching them grow into playful balls of fur. In this batch there was a special little girl that kept our attention. She is gray with a white eye liner look around her eyes. One time she ran over to Junior rolled over on her back and seemed to beg for him to rub her belly. We kept telling ourselves that we did not need another kitten. We had Alex and Blanko already. As life dealt their struggles, these boys snuggled us and we had many laughs at their antics. Alex is now 13 and Blanko is 9.
The gray kitten made her way into our home and into our hearts. We call her Sara or knot head. She is makes us laugh – laughter we had let go of. Right away Sara decided that Blanko was “mom.” Since Blanko is heavily medicated due to seizures, he tends to be shall we say, “Laid back.” Sara thinks Blanko is “mom.” She snuggles him and likes to take pieces of his fur and pretends she is nursing. When she tried that with Alex, he hissed at her.
Sara runs all over the house. Sara thinks everything she touches is to be played with. Junior and I have had so many laughs. She has brought life to Blanko. She plays with Alex and once he realized she was here to stay, he loves watching her and playing with her.
This little girl has brought life back to our home. Junior and I have started being silly with each other again. We laugh with each other and have renewed the love we truly enjoy in being husband and wife. Junior and I had been able to laugh throughout our many trials in the past. My retirement seemed to take away our laughter. Our commitment to each other was still there, though we were struggling in our own private struggle. Now we are laughing again, enjoying our unique sense of humor. Praise the Lord!
May you find laughter in your life again today. Laughter truly is good for the soul.
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)