June 2, 2018

Greetings My Friend,

This morning I woke up with brain fog so getting my thoughts together then start functioning is a huge challenge. I feel like I have a hangover although I don't drink alcohol. Yesterday we got up, got ready then went to my sister's house to visit with her and my niece. We were there a couple of hours, then we headed to Lowe's to get a light fixture for the ceiling fan, the other one quit working. I was extremely tired by the time we got home. With Parkinson's Disease it does not take long for me to wear out anymore. When we got home about 3:00 in the afternoon, I took my nap which I need in order to function anymore. I was so wore out I slept for 3 hours waking up at 6:00. I caught up the days dishes washing them by hand, took a shower, found myself tired so I laid low the rest of the night. The problem is I woke up around 3 am for a couple of hours. I used to get panicky being awake during the night, today I watch a little TV, if that does not work then I do my quiet time with God. God generally relaxes me as I read His Word then I am able to go to sleep again. God's Word quiets all the racing thoughts that come with being awake in the middle of the night, for me the thoughts are dark, sad thoughts. I was not able to make my body be active after my late nap yesterday, I have learned I need a nap, I have also learned when I nap I need to push my body so I am able to sleep at night. Chronic Fatigue is a problem most people with chronic illnesses deal with. I have to have that afternoon nap, I also need to be active for a couple of hours once I wake up so I am able to get to sleep and stay asleep. I move slow in the mornings, I am not able to get up and rush about as I did when I was a working mother. After I drink a couple of cups of tea, eat breakfast, study the Word my mind will engage, my body will function then I am able to enter into the day fully. Another problem I have with brain fog is when I get off schedule taking my PD medication, I find I struggle for the rest of the day feeling "off". PD patients need to have routines then stick with them. I have always functioned best with routines, I need them now even more so. God has placed information at my fingertips through the internet, talking with a couple of friends who have PD so I have learned ways to deal with my disease along with ways to be proactive like exercising. I have learned these brain fog moments will pass, to stick with my routine then I work my way back into functioning rather well. I am grateful for the information I have gotten, I am grateful I have been able to apply what I have learned and to be able to function fairly well. I tire easily, I have learned to work around my tiredness and I am able to take care of our home, our lives. My husband is supportive, my friends understand when I am tired and God is always near to guide me when I am not sure what to do, how to cope. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet

May 31, 2018

Greetings My Friend,

Thirteen years ago I had breast cancer, that was the start of a downward spiral of my health. Radiation beat me up something awful, after the treatments were done I struggled to do most of what I had done easily before radiation then I spiraled down until sitting on the couch, moving to a chair next to the couch wore me out. The last year I worked I struggled to do my job, one I had been in for 11 years. Junior and,  I moved to Virginia, he did all the work because I was too tired to help. God blessed me because He sent me to a wonderful doctor, she helped me one problem at a time. One and a half years ago I needed to use a wheelchair whenever I went anywhere. Today I can walk pushing my walker or a shopping cart for an hour or more. My doctor sent me to a couple of specialists who did little to nothing to help me so she undertook to figure out my problem, I have Parkinson's Disease, started me on PD medication, now I am able to walk, to keep up our home, make dinners and even write. Along the way God has shown me ways to get back some of my cognitive abilities through games, learning how to preserve food, helping Junior plan out what we want in our home we are renovating. God has helped me deal with my allergies more effectively, taught me to do different types of exercises, which in turn helps keep the rigidity of PD at bay. I discovered I slept better in a recliner than I did in bed so now I wake up with very little to no stiffness. There have been days I wondered if all this work was worth the effort, when I saw my PCP yesterday, I knew it was worth the effort as she came over to give me a giant hug. My little miniature poodle died recently, she was an older dog, she had a bum leg, was blind and I took her with me wherever I went around the house and around town. She helped me walk straight when I could not use a shopping cart. I knew I needed another helper so we headed to the pound where we adopted a min pin. She is full of energy with a very sweet personality. I now need to walk her several times a day which is helping me to move about more. I have worked up to where I am able to walk halfway down my country road which excites me. We live on a beautiful mountain full of woods road, the walk is peaceful, beautiful. I am working towards being able to walk the road to its end within the next month. The only real problem I had was I struggled to wake up from my afternoon nap, my PCP suggested I use my CPAP when I take a nap as well as at bedtime. I used it yesterday, I woke up easily, was able to get up easier. It has taken a lot of energy, a lot of persistence to be where I am today, I am grateful. I am grateful God has patiently, lovingly guided my steps, now I plan on using these better days to tell of how God has been helped me, given me quite a bit of my life back. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet

May 29, 2018

Greetings My Friend,

I have had a problem with Pope Francis' theology, he has stated that Muslims and Christians worship the same god. We do not worship the same god as the Muslims do, our God states emphatically that He is the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Ishmael was the son of Abraham but not the son of Abraham and Sara, he was born of Sara's slave woman. The Pope says other things that do not match up with the Bible. I am sad that people believe all that they hear, many false teachings of God's Word abound today. The best way to know if you are being fed garbage or the real thing is to read the Word of God and ask the Holy Spirit to guide your thoughts. The Bible also teaches in the end times people will want teaching that "tickles their ears," people want to hear what they want to believe, then they seek out those that will tell them what they want to hear. It is sad. Part of the deception I also see today is how our children are taught completely different things than we were taught when I was growing up. We were taught socialism never lasted, the only people it benefitted was those who ran the government. Today children are taught it is wonderful, even though the nightly news tells of how awful the countries that have it now are. The nightly news tells how cruel Muslim's are around the world, chopping off people's heads, raping young children, women because they do not believe in their god. All that is repeated is "not all Muslim's are that crazy". I see where countries are kicking the Muslim's out, they have overtaken the country then changed the social norms of that country. We want everyone to be nice and get along, the sad fact is people are not kind. God wants each of us to choose Him, He won't make you believe in Him although if you choose not to believe in Him, you choose an eternity in hell, a not so nice place. Many churches are teaching their congregations that everyone will go to heaven, that is not true. Jesus talked about hell more than He talked about heaven, Jesus taught us how to live a holy life. Jesus loved the unlovable, that means a whole lot to me. Jesus taught that the only way to heaven is we must believe He is the son of God, then we can go to heaven. It is rather simple to get into heaven, believe God is God, that "God, sent His only begotten Son into the world that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life." This means even if the worst of sinners repent, stop sinning and follow the teachings of the Holy Bible. That means a homosexual can repent, stop their sinful behavior and go to heaven. Even a Muslim can go to heaven if he will believe God is God, Jesus is His Son then begin to live the teachings of the Bible. This gift is open to everyone, it is each person's choice to believe and live in eternity or not believe and live in hell for eternity. My prayer is people will stop choosing to believe any teaching that makes them feel good and start believing God. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet

May 24, 2018

Greetings My Friend,

Today was a definite Parkinson's day for me, then add to that I found myself grappling with some major emotional upheavals. For what ever reason today was a sleepy kind of day for me, as I wake up it is 6:00 in the evening. Junior took Ziva our min pin to get a hysterectomy this morning before I woke up, I was woke up with a call from the Vet's office asking if I still wanted to have the procedure done because she was in heat. I was told she would still appeal to male dogs for awhile longer and if they mounted her Ziva's insides would be injured. After thinking on this a bit I chose to go ahead with the procedure. The Vet's office said it is done frequently, the smaller dogs like she is usually go through this with no problems other than we need to make male dog's stay away from her, since we have 3 males that are still intact although a lot larger I feel they would not be able to harm Ziva. After that I went to my quiet time with the LORD. This time allowed me to focus on God, to settle my thoughts and to begin to prepare for today's agenda. When I finished my quiet time I did some dusting, picked up the kitchen when I realized I needed to lay down so I would be energetic enough to run to the Vet with Junior. Brenda called me telling me about the terrible struggle she is having using the bathroom since radiation but now it has been days since she could go to the bathroom. Throughout the process of her cancer treatments, I kept telling Brenda she needed to talk to her family doctor and quit asking the cancer doctor's for guidance with her health issues. She has been out of treatments for several months and today Brenda decided to call her family doctor. The doctor wanted Brenda to go to the ER immediately, first thing Brenda did was call me to tell me what the doctor told her to do. While telling me what the doctor told her what to do, Brenda was trying to make 4 or 5 other decisions about her impending move, if she should do this or that. I started fussing at Brenda telling her to focus on one problem at a time, she needed to hang up, get to the hospital right now. After each of these major decisions I will get a text stating I am her only friend, she relies on me, then I point her back to Jesus. I have not heard from Brenda as of yet, my guess is she may be admitted. In the mix of these things my niece Alicia's dog died, Molly has been in her life for 9 years or so now. Since Daisy died a few weeks ago I know the difficulty of loosing a beloved pet, it is much like loosing a family member. My heart is breaking for my niece and her family. For whatever reason today I have struggled with extreme exhaustion. I wound up sleeping all afternoon, now I need to see if I can sum up enough energy to be physically active for a couple of hours so I can get to sleep tonight. God will help me to decide what activities I can do so I can sleep. At the end of the day my heart is grateful to be a follower of Jesus, in my brokenness God quiets the hurt in my soul for Brenda, my niece even little Ziva. I am grateful Junior understands my need to slow down some days, he is patient until I am able to get back to functioning again. Parkinson's has taught me only too well, work when I can and sit when I can't. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet

May 22, 2018

Greetings My Friend,

Saturday I got a phone call from my son, Mike. For the last 6 months to a year our conversations are friendly, easy going, the prior 20 years they were challenging often ending up with one of us hanging up on the other. My divorce was 21 years ago, shortly afterwards I began praying for my children to be healed from the craziness of our family life. Soon after the divorce both of my children became pregnant. My son's wife gave us a daughter, my daughter had a girl as well 2 months later. As soon as I heard about the girls I began praying for them. I wound up marrying Junior the same year the girls were born, he taught me to pray for my ex also. Basically I became a praying woman, God taught me slowly how to let go of pain from the marriage, to love my children, not doing everything to make up for the craziness of our family life. My daughter still is angry, won't talk to me. At this point I accept this, I miss her, God taught me He is all I need, then He taught me how to love Agape fashion as He loves me. I learned buying their love was not going to work, I never was the type to buy love so this was not too hard to learn. I learned when my daughter became pregnant without the father in her life it was not my responsibility to take a turn watching my grandchild every week. I was struggling to learn how to be single, how to be a new wife again, working full time and watching a baby a day or two a week was not something I could do. Eventually God led Junior and I to move from Michigan, a move that did not make our children very happy. My ex kept showing up at the grandchildren's birthday's, the holidays wanting to my best friend. When I saw him, I still had pain, did not have a desire to be best friends with him. I also refused to be goaded into an argument for our children's sake so I hurt a lot but did not know how to make him go away without making a scene. The move allowed me to heal finally. I was able to discover who I was which meant I went from being fearful to being silly, finally settling into a contentment of being a woman who is able to think, to have my own talents. In Virginia, I am accepted loved in ways I have never known. Junior kept encouraging me to have opinions, try new things and most importantly to grow in love with Jesus. As God worked on healing me, He was also working on my son. Mike married his high school sweetheart, had what he thought was a decent marriage, which is much like my life story. I married the only boy I dated, stayed with him 24 years. Mike's marriage broke up, they got together again then broke up again. He had to deal with the same crud I did in many ways so God was working on Mike while He was working on me. We finally are healed, he is now starting a faith journey with his new girlfriend. They are working on Ashley trying to teach her the need forgive what her mother did by leaving. It sounds like Mike's girlfriend Nicole has also had to learn the importance of forgiving, the healing that comes when you learn to let go and let God. God showed me that I can live without my children, that I can enjoy being a mother to fur children, I love being married to Junior, I prayed for him and God gave me Junior who married me within 15 months of my divorce. We knew we were at a higher risk of divorce so God taught us to take relationship classes, associate with other divorced people in a Sunday school class which helped us to be a strong united front. I am not sure if my daughter will ever forgive me, I pray she will. I do know I have her in the best hands though, God's. I will pray for her, Mike, Nichole's relationship and the children until I die. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet

May 19, 2018

Greetings My Friend,

I woke up first this morning, something I don't do very often anymore. While I was starting my quiet time with journaling my thoughts Junior woke up. He stretched, said something unrecognizable then the dogs one by one came over to him, to be loved on. With 8 dogs this can be quite a process, he speaks to each one, rubs on each one, then he let Cato out of the cage to take him outside for a potty call and a small walk throughout our property. For me this scene was as beautiful as watching an early morning sun rise. Enjoying the beauty of family life, I went back to my time in the Word. My overall lesson seemed to be to live out my faith. A way to do this was to read the Word, ask the Holy Spirit to teach me the lessons God has for me and apply these lessons to my life. When I had finished reading my Bible my son called me for a phone visit. I asked him about his faith, he told me how Junior taught him a valuable lesson. I found that strange because we have not been in Michigan nor talked to Mike (my son) in sometime. He has been cleaning out his basement, had bags of clothing just sitting around, he said that is when he thought about Junior. Junior sets aside an area where he has a tall laundry basket for charity. When the basket is full, he takes the things to a thrift store, anywhere that helps the disadvantaged. When we lived in Michigan, Junior worked at a place that helped the poor with food and clothes, so Mike took all the bags he had over to that place where Junior worked. Recently we have had a few discussions on how to present the Gospel to people, Junior's style can be rather blunt and to the point. His style speaks well with the type of people he knew as a young man. These people are generally on the fringe of society, their language, way of living is harsh, their speech is harsh, so they "hear" better when the Gospel is given in a no nonsense way. Mike has known Junior's style for a long time now although it was not Junior's words that spoke of the love of Christ, Junior has but it was the way he lived what he believed. As we learned through the years actions speak louder than words. The more we talked, I also saw by having a good understanding of God's principal's I was able to live what I believe. The first lesson I learned as I began my faith journey was to be the same at home as I am out in public. I also believe since Jesus was willing to follow God more than man's ways, that standing up for God's ways is important also. This tells me that if I see something is wrong with the way our government is governing our nation I need to speak up, do what I can to change the laws. I would rather go with the flow, lately though that is not what I want to do. Jesus told the disciples to take a sword with them, which means if we need to defend the Gospel as it is taught that owning a gun is not wrong. By stating my views, voting my values are ways that my actions speak louder than my words. May God bless you and keep you, make His face shine on you. Love Janet

May 17, 2018

Greetings My Friend,

Lately the distractions keep coming at me, keeping me from my quiet time with God. I get texts from friends who are struggling with life issues, phone calls to help a person sort out her life situations. Sunday mornings I am no longer able to be up, into the Word before I get ready for church, so I study two days on Monday. The general lesson I am learning is keep going back to the Word of God until I am able to read the day's Word in its entirety. Some day's it is later that night, other days I make up a day I lost. I worry sometimes that the hour is late, I need to start the day, get some work done. Then God reminds me again, time spent with Him is not wasted, the work gets done later, still it gets done. Another lesson I am learning a bit late in my life is we are to tell our children of the things God has done in our lives. I see again the huge example of Dad's polio, Mom blamed most of the family problems on the disease, not Dad's life of abuse or how hard it was for her to step up to the plate and become the bread winner in the family. As I look back I understand that God had His hand on my Dad, my family. Looking back I see where God protected me from the hand of my husband, sent help many times only I did not recognize the help I received. Today, I find being thankful for the smallest things in my life teaches me when God is working in my life to protect me from the evils of this world. In being thankful I see talents God has given me, areas where He wants me to work for the spreading of  the Good News. I was never able to connect fully with God until I started reading the Bible daily, for me I read the Bible in a year, each year. The more I read, the more I am able to absorb the lessons, the direction God wants me to go in. I am able to pray and hear when God answers me with His Word. For the third year my dehydrator broke after one years use, even the better quality dehydrator. I had a load of strawberries to dry and I was praying how to save this batch of berries when God placed on my mind to dry them outside in the sun. Next I looked online for solar dehydrating products. I discovered a hanging tier of shelves covered in screen and cloth. This year I am learning to use the sun to dehydrate food for the winter. I also will use the freezer and God had me researching root cellars without digging in the ground. We have a house built on a mountain where we have what I call an underneath. We have 2 small freezers ( apartment sized) that we are not using and God showed me to use those underneath the house as a root cellar along with a plastic cooler . God has been teaching me to depend more on Him, less on man processed, chemical filled foods so we are attempting our first container garden. Since we live in a rural area we can get home grown food, fresh meat from the source to put up for winter. As we get more proficient we will be able to grow and put up our food needs. I love this new to me lifestyle change, that God is teaching me how to do so, then using me to tell others how I am able to take care of our needs and rely less on the government, others for our needs. Slowly our nation has been teaching us to rely more on man than on God. God has provided the land, the bounty of food crops and animals for our needs. He wants us to rely more on Him than on man. We are also to tell how God helps us, sustains us and to reach out to others. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet