Greetings My Friend,
I recently had a fight with a loved one. It wasn't pretty lots of nasty words went back and forth between us. We seem to go into a tailspin more often lately. I hung up confused and upset.
I went to prayer. I struggled to stay focused on the problem. I found myself reliving the scene over and over. As I started to re-focus I saw a picture. Sometimes God shows me pictures. I saw the wooden cross where Jesus was crucified. Generally I see Jesus hanging on the cross. This time I did not. What I saw was a blood soaked, blood stained cross.
"Lord?" I asked. "Why the blood on the Cross?" God showed me the blood soaking into the cross and seemed to be pointing out that my hurt, my sin was being soaked into the cross. God was telling me that He heard my cry. It seemed that God was also telling me that He loved me.
Again, I found myself walking through the last moments of Jesus' life. Again, I found that Jesus truly knows the hurt I was feeling. This time, I felt that God was trying to comfort me. Still I found myself struggling, reliving the words we had said.
I was trying hard to "Let go, Let God." For several days I struggled. Prayer time found me reliving the situation. Finally, I decided that I would pray out lound. When I prayed out loud, I found comfort. I was able to let go.
When I was going through counseling, I found that I often struggled to put the hurts behind me. I relived the pain over and over. Ray, my counselor taught me one time that deep wounds heal from the inside to the outside. That was a wonderful lesson for me. I found that many times I thought I had settled a situation only to have it come back again. Ray was teaching me that the wounds in my heart tend to heal slowly. It may take many tries before I can release it fully.
The picture of the blood soaked cross seemed to teach me that my pain is heard by God. God wanted to absorb my pain. Sometimes though, the pain takes time to heal, like deep wounds in the flesh do.
Each time I saw the picture in my mind's eye I found myself letting go a little more. I found a gentle peace coming into my soul. God also started putting people in my path to help me as well. My long time friend helped me to see where I got lost. Another friend just listened as I tried to make sense of the siuation.
Once more, I learned that forgiveness is a process. It is not always done in an instant. God only asks that I try. In trying, He helps me put the struggle to rest. As I put the struggle to rest, I find that I can truly move on.
Sunday is Easter. I pray that you meet Jesus, that you let Him be the Lord of your life. I have found that Jesus loves each one of us - as if we were the only one in the whole world. To me it is wonderful knowing that I am special, a precious one of a kind of woman. When I mess up, it is such comfort to know that if I confess, then Jesus will forgive me, give me the strength I need to face whatever situation I am in.
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Luke 23:34
Jesus said, "Forgive them Father! They don't know what they are doing."
Matthew 6:14-15
"If you forgive others the wrongs they have done to you, your Father in heaven will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive the wrongs you have done.
Showing posts with label 2009. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 2009. Show all posts
Friday, April 10, 2009
Saturday, April 4, 2009
April 4, 2009
Greetings My Friend,
The church where my parents attended before moving to Colorado was the church that looked after us when we came back to Michigan. Dad had polio and we were in desperate need. The charitable organizations back then would not help a family out if they had lived in the state for six months. It was our church who came to help us.
Through the years this church provided for many of our day to day needs. They got Dad a back brace and he taught himself to walk again. They provided food and clothes as well. My Mom found a job at a local hospital. Actually, Mom filled in for Grandma when she needed to have her gall bladder removed. From there Mom bid on different jobs and moved herself up in the hospital business. At one point, my parents wanted to be in their own home. The church came through again. This time they helped my parents to get a mortgage. It was amazing, because at that time, women could not get a mortgage. They got the mortgage in Dad's name, even though he was not working.
After we moved to our He did not make as much as Mom, but each dollar helped us stay afloat. Money was always a struggle for them. Dad was the one to pay the bills. Dad was the one home during the day. I remeber one day the phone rang. Dad told me to answer it. He stood very close to me smoking his cigarette, and blowing smoke in my face as I talked on the phone. He had told me to tell the person on the other end that he was not home. I was scared - very scared. Dad was very angry and the person on the other end of the phone was very mean. The person was a bill collector. Dad was late in paying the mortgage. I wound up with this job many times after that. Each time Dad would stand very close to me, anger pouring out of him. Each time the bill collector was very mean to me as I talked to him. The bill collector seemed to know that Dad was around.
I grew up. I married a man two weeks out of high school. he had graduated the year before me. I got a job working at the hospital where my mother worked. It was a good job for being right out of high school. I made decent money. My husband worked several jobs bouncing around from job to job. He handled the money - I liked that idea. He liked to write checks and didn't keep track of the check rigister. Many times there was no money in the checking account. One day at work, I received a phone call from a bill collector.
As I listend to the man on the other end of the line, I was once more the "scared little girl," of my past. I was transported right back to those days when Dad had made me talk to the bill collectors.When I got home that night I was an angry woman. We were living with friends at the time. We had been evictedf from our apartment due to paying out rent late. I ranted and raged. I tore up the check book. I told him that I never wanted anyone to ever call me at work again.
My husband and I settled down. We had children. We eventually bought a home together. When we bought the home, we went back to using a check book. I handled the checkbook. I sat many days balancing that check book. The first couple of years, we did have a few times where the mortgage company called. After that I never had to deal with bill collectors.
I was able to be home with our children when they were little for the most part. I did work part time and then quit when Mike needed to go to speech therapy. When he got into kindergarten, I again went back to work. As I re-entered the work force, it became difficult to handle the bills. We had two different checking accounts. I had a job at the bank and I got free checking. My husband felt that I spent too much time balancing the checkbooks and paying the bills.
My husband wanted what he wanted. I did not know how to finance all that he wanted. I got frustrated and I figured out what my income could support and gave him the rrest of the bills to handle. I paid the house note, the car payment and car insurance. He had to pay the rest. This worked well for the rest of our marriage.
As I entered marriage with Junior, I was well aware of my disdain for bill collectors, my anal attidude about money. I told Junior how I was. I told him that I never wanted a bill collector to call me. I also had a need to handle some of the bills. My ex-husband often told me when I was an at home mother, that he owned everything and I owned nothing. I had a need to be part of the bill paying, bread winning team.
Junior likes to spend money. It makes him happy. He also does not worry about bill collectors like I do. We both paid some of the bills for the first several years of our marriage. As I came to retirement, I found that I was ready to trust Junior. It is strange but it took me 10 years to feel safe and not need to help out. Junior knows my thoughts on money. He now handles our finances. I love not worrying. I also now hear Junior coming around to the way I think. That pleases me a whole lot. I still have moments where I want to panic. Now, I talk to God and often I feel safe.
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Proverbs 10:4
Being lazy will make you poor, but hard work will make you rich.
Proverbs 12:24
Hard work will give you power; being lazy will make you a slave.
The church where my parents attended before moving to Colorado was the church that looked after us when we came back to Michigan. Dad had polio and we were in desperate need. The charitable organizations back then would not help a family out if they had lived in the state for six months. It was our church who came to help us.
Through the years this church provided for many of our day to day needs. They got Dad a back brace and he taught himself to walk again. They provided food and clothes as well. My Mom found a job at a local hospital. Actually, Mom filled in for Grandma when she needed to have her gall bladder removed. From there Mom bid on different jobs and moved herself up in the hospital business. At one point, my parents wanted to be in their own home. The church came through again. This time they helped my parents to get a mortgage. It was amazing, because at that time, women could not get a mortgage. They got the mortgage in Dad's name, even though he was not working.
After we moved to our He did not make as much as Mom, but each dollar helped us stay afloat. Money was always a struggle for them. Dad was the one to pay the bills. Dad was the one home during the day. I remeber one day the phone rang. Dad told me to answer it. He stood very close to me smoking his cigarette, and blowing smoke in my face as I talked on the phone. He had told me to tell the person on the other end that he was not home. I was scared - very scared. Dad was very angry and the person on the other end of the phone was very mean. The person was a bill collector. Dad was late in paying the mortgage. I wound up with this job many times after that. Each time Dad would stand very close to me, anger pouring out of him. Each time the bill collector was very mean to me as I talked to him. The bill collector seemed to know that Dad was around.
I grew up. I married a man two weeks out of high school. he had graduated the year before me. I got a job working at the hospital where my mother worked. It was a good job for being right out of high school. I made decent money. My husband worked several jobs bouncing around from job to job. He handled the money - I liked that idea. He liked to write checks and didn't keep track of the check rigister. Many times there was no money in the checking account. One day at work, I received a phone call from a bill collector.
As I listend to the man on the other end of the line, I was once more the "scared little girl," of my past. I was transported right back to those days when Dad had made me talk to the bill collectors.When I got home that night I was an angry woman. We were living with friends at the time. We had been evictedf from our apartment due to paying out rent late. I ranted and raged. I tore up the check book. I told him that I never wanted anyone to ever call me at work again.
My husband and I settled down. We had children. We eventually bought a home together. When we bought the home, we went back to using a check book. I handled the checkbook. I sat many days balancing that check book. The first couple of years, we did have a few times where the mortgage company called. After that I never had to deal with bill collectors.
I was able to be home with our children when they were little for the most part. I did work part time and then quit when Mike needed to go to speech therapy. When he got into kindergarten, I again went back to work. As I re-entered the work force, it became difficult to handle the bills. We had two different checking accounts. I had a job at the bank and I got free checking. My husband felt that I spent too much time balancing the checkbooks and paying the bills.
My husband wanted what he wanted. I did not know how to finance all that he wanted. I got frustrated and I figured out what my income could support and gave him the rrest of the bills to handle. I paid the house note, the car payment and car insurance. He had to pay the rest. This worked well for the rest of our marriage.
As I entered marriage with Junior, I was well aware of my disdain for bill collectors, my anal attidude about money. I told Junior how I was. I told him that I never wanted a bill collector to call me. I also had a need to handle some of the bills. My ex-husband often told me when I was an at home mother, that he owned everything and I owned nothing. I had a need to be part of the bill paying, bread winning team.
Junior likes to spend money. It makes him happy. He also does not worry about bill collectors like I do. We both paid some of the bills for the first several years of our marriage. As I came to retirement, I found that I was ready to trust Junior. It is strange but it took me 10 years to feel safe and not need to help out. Junior knows my thoughts on money. He now handles our finances. I love not worrying. I also now hear Junior coming around to the way I think. That pleases me a whole lot. I still have moments where I want to panic. Now, I talk to God and often I feel safe.
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Proverbs 10:4
Being lazy will make you poor, but hard work will make you rich.
Proverbs 12:24
Hard work will give you power; being lazy will make you a slave.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
March 21, 2009
Greetings My Friend,
When my son Mike was little, he had a lot of challenges. The first one was that he cried for hours on end, days on end. Finding the source of his discomfort was a challenge. When we visited friends and family, I often heard, “Oh no here they come”, because Mike would cry so much. I consistently reported Mike’s problems to the doctor. Mostly the doctor thought that I was babying Mike too much. One time though, the doctor looked inside Mike’s ears. His ear drum was inverted, he could not hear and he was having nasty ear aches, the kind that hurt a lot! Because of that situation, I found a need to tell people what I learned with Mike, in life in general.
I was at the gym working out in the pool a while back. I had a conversation that I reflect back on quite a bit. Actually at one point in my life, I remember buying into this lady’s thoughts. Anyway, the conversation turned toward life in general. I often tell people that I am in my second marriage. I did it wrong the first time, this time I asked God and He has placed me with a man I feel safe with.
I mentioned that my first marriage was for 24 years and it was abusive. There was lots of anger etc. I also mentioned that I had a rough childhood as well. I don’t tell these things to get pity. I truly want to help people. I want to offer hope. I have found the hope I have is not in the psychology classes, counseling sessions I went through. The hope I have is in Jesus Christ. When I divorced, I prayed a whole lot, more than I had ever done before in my life. I did not want to repeat the mistakes I had made the first time. As I prayed I started to find hope and healing.
This lady at the gym suggested that I would have been better off aborted, never being born because of all the pain of life. Instantly, I felt angry. I am glad I was born. I am glad I have seen the other side of abuse. I am glad that God loves me enough to make me whole and new. I see that my life has value. That in itself is a huge blessing. Now I try to reach out to the lost, lonely and hurting people. I was once lost, but now am found – found by Jesus.
I love bringing hope to people. I love bringing Jesus’ redeeming love to people. I count it pure joy. My daughter hasn’t really talked to me in 9-10 years. It hurts, a lot at times. I am sad for the hurt she feels whether it was caused by me or her Dad. God has helped me move from constant pain and despair. At work there was a young lady who allowed me to love her. I have a niece who allows me to love her. God brings me young women and I still get to be “mom.” So, I am grateful that I was never aborted. I am grateful to have found Jesus.
As I write this, I know some of you have had an abortion. Give it to God. He is the great healer and He can use you to help another person in pain – often what you have felt can now be used to help another.
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Jeremiah 29:6
Marry and have children. Then let your children get married, so that they also may have children. You must increase in numbers and not decrease.
Jeremiah 29: 11-12
I alone know the plans I have for you, plans to bring you prosperity and not disaster, plans to bring about the future you hope for. Then you will call to me, and I will answer you.
Psalm 139:13
You created every part of me; you put me together in my mother’s womb.
Greetings My Friend,
When my son Mike was little, he had a lot of challenges. The first one was that he cried for hours on end, days on end. Finding the source of his discomfort was a challenge. When we visited friends and family, I often heard, “Oh no here they come”, because Mike would cry so much. I consistently reported Mike’s problems to the doctor. Mostly the doctor thought that I was babying Mike too much. One time though, the doctor looked inside Mike’s ears. His ear drum was inverted, he could not hear and he was having nasty ear aches, the kind that hurt a lot! Because of that situation, I found a need to tell people what I learned with Mike, in life in general.
I was at the gym working out in the pool a while back. I had a conversation that I reflect back on quite a bit. Actually at one point in my life, I remember buying into this lady’s thoughts. Anyway, the conversation turned toward life in general. I often tell people that I am in my second marriage. I did it wrong the first time, this time I asked God and He has placed me with a man I feel safe with.
I mentioned that my first marriage was for 24 years and it was abusive. There was lots of anger etc. I also mentioned that I had a rough childhood as well. I don’t tell these things to get pity. I truly want to help people. I want to offer hope. I have found the hope I have is not in the psychology classes, counseling sessions I went through. The hope I have is in Jesus Christ. When I divorced, I prayed a whole lot, more than I had ever done before in my life. I did not want to repeat the mistakes I had made the first time. As I prayed I started to find hope and healing.
This lady at the gym suggested that I would have been better off aborted, never being born because of all the pain of life. Instantly, I felt angry. I am glad I was born. I am glad I have seen the other side of abuse. I am glad that God loves me enough to make me whole and new. I see that my life has value. That in itself is a huge blessing. Now I try to reach out to the lost, lonely and hurting people. I was once lost, but now am found – found by Jesus.
I love bringing hope to people. I love bringing Jesus’ redeeming love to people. I count it pure joy. My daughter hasn’t really talked to me in 9-10 years. It hurts, a lot at times. I am sad for the hurt she feels whether it was caused by me or her Dad. God has helped me move from constant pain and despair. At work there was a young lady who allowed me to love her. I have a niece who allows me to love her. God brings me young women and I still get to be “mom.” So, I am grateful that I was never aborted. I am grateful to have found Jesus.
As I write this, I know some of you have had an abortion. Give it to God. He is the great healer and He can use you to help another person in pain – often what you have felt can now be used to help another.
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Jeremiah 29:6
Marry and have children. Then let your children get married, so that they also may have children. You must increase in numbers and not decrease.
Jeremiah 29: 11-12
I alone know the plans I have for you, plans to bring you prosperity and not disaster, plans to bring about the future you hope for. Then you will call to me, and I will answer you.
Psalm 139:13
You created every part of me; you put me together in my mother’s womb.
Friday, March 20, 2009
March 28, 2009
Greetings My Friend,
I’m having one of those moments. I want to believe God and at the same time I feel some panic. Last year when I retired I felt the wise decision would be to retire in September. It made sense. In September, I would be able to collect my small pension. I would be able to buy health insurance through my employer. As Junior and I prayed though, we felt that June was when I was to retire. I could get Junior’s insurance. The only problem was that Junior needed to be retired for another 6 years for me to get insurance for the rest of my life. He has insurance through Tricare – due to his injury in Viet Nam he is considered retired from the military and has that insurance. He became disabled where he could not work anymore about 4 ½ years ago. He has to be 100% disabled for 10 years for me to get this insurance.
We retired me. We felt God’s hand on us. All summer we saw the stock market fall way, way low. My money was given to our Financial Planner and he has put the brunt of our money into cash. I’ve been thanking God a whole lot. It did not make sense to me and then as I watched the stock market fall, well I’ve been in awe of God’s wonderful provision.
Junior had surgery recently. He had some lumps for years. I asked him about them when we were dating – he had them for years prior to our dating. I didn’t think much about them. After the surgery, the surgeon asked me if Junior was in Viet Nam. Yes, he was. She said that more than likely the lumps were from Agent Orange. I felt a wave of panic. I told her that he has two more lumps on him, on his legs. Now I wanted all those lumps gone. I hated them. I was scared. She told me to have Junior bring them to her attention when he came for his follow up.
My heart started talking to God almost right away. “Lord, we asked if we could be married 50 years. Father, Junior helps me to know you, to trust you.” And so went my conversations with my Heavenly Father.
God reminded me that He is taking care of me. He showed me how he has protected our income. He showed me how he brought me to Junior in the first place and how I have been protected and watched after. He reminded me that He knows I need Junior’s health insurance. He kept bringing to my attention all the details of His care for me. Then He started showing me how He has taught Junior to take vitamin supplements, to exercise and how well Junior has done. He reminded me that Junior worked in a chemical factory for 38 years. “Okay, Lord” my heart responded.
I still want those lumps gone. I now hate them. At the same time, I feel a peace. God does know what I need, what we all need. He brought me to Junior when I was a lost and lonely woman. Junior has watched over me and has helped me know the love of Jesus. Junior taught me to pray in the middle of the night when I had nightmares - when I dreamt that my ex husband wanted to kill me. So, I trust God will provide. It may not be what I think I want – but God will provide. He always does.
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Proverbs 3:5
Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Never rely on what you think you know.
Micah 7
But I will watch for the Lord; I will wait confidently for God, who will save me. My God will hear me.
Greetings My Friend,
I’m having one of those moments. I want to believe God and at the same time I feel some panic. Last year when I retired I felt the wise decision would be to retire in September. It made sense. In September, I would be able to collect my small pension. I would be able to buy health insurance through my employer. As Junior and I prayed though, we felt that June was when I was to retire. I could get Junior’s insurance. The only problem was that Junior needed to be retired for another 6 years for me to get insurance for the rest of my life. He has insurance through Tricare – due to his injury in Viet Nam he is considered retired from the military and has that insurance. He became disabled where he could not work anymore about 4 ½ years ago. He has to be 100% disabled for 10 years for me to get this insurance.
We retired me. We felt God’s hand on us. All summer we saw the stock market fall way, way low. My money was given to our Financial Planner and he has put the brunt of our money into cash. I’ve been thanking God a whole lot. It did not make sense to me and then as I watched the stock market fall, well I’ve been in awe of God’s wonderful provision.
Junior had surgery recently. He had some lumps for years. I asked him about them when we were dating – he had them for years prior to our dating. I didn’t think much about them. After the surgery, the surgeon asked me if Junior was in Viet Nam. Yes, he was. She said that more than likely the lumps were from Agent Orange. I felt a wave of panic. I told her that he has two more lumps on him, on his legs. Now I wanted all those lumps gone. I hated them. I was scared. She told me to have Junior bring them to her attention when he came for his follow up.
My heart started talking to God almost right away. “Lord, we asked if we could be married 50 years. Father, Junior helps me to know you, to trust you.” And so went my conversations with my Heavenly Father.
God reminded me that He is taking care of me. He showed me how he has protected our income. He showed me how he brought me to Junior in the first place and how I have been protected and watched after. He reminded me that He knows I need Junior’s health insurance. He kept bringing to my attention all the details of His care for me. Then He started showing me how He has taught Junior to take vitamin supplements, to exercise and how well Junior has done. He reminded me that Junior worked in a chemical factory for 38 years. “Okay, Lord” my heart responded.
I still want those lumps gone. I now hate them. At the same time, I feel a peace. God does know what I need, what we all need. He brought me to Junior when I was a lost and lonely woman. Junior has watched over me and has helped me know the love of Jesus. Junior taught me to pray in the middle of the night when I had nightmares - when I dreamt that my ex husband wanted to kill me. So, I trust God will provide. It may not be what I think I want – but God will provide. He always does.
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Proverbs 3:5
Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Never rely on what you think you know.
Micah 7
But I will watch for the Lord; I will wait confidently for God, who will save me. My God will hear me.
Friday, February 27, 2009
February 28, 2009
Genesis 3:16
And he said to the woman, “I will increase your trouble in pregnancy and your pain in giving birth. In spite of this, you will still have desire for your husband, yet you will be subject to him.
Ephesians 5:21-22
Submit yourselves to one another because of your reverence for Christ. Wives, submit yourselves to your husband’s as to the Lord. For a husband has authority over his wife just as Christ has authority over the church; and Christ is himself the Savior of the church, his body.
As the 10th anniversary of my mother’s death draws near, I find myself to be contemplative. There was a point where I realized I could not listen to her advice for my life. I remember being sad at that realization. Part of my reflection also takes me back to my counseling with Ray. Ray was like a father for me. I trusted him like I had never trusted a man, in my life. He had become like a Dad to me. I felt safe with Ray.
I started counseling with Ray prior to my first marriage breaking up. I stayed with him as I went through divorce and after I met Junior. Junior started attending my counseling sessions with me. He wanted to understand what I was struggling with.
One of the first things Ray had me do when Junior entered into counseling with me was to look to Junior for answerers to my struggles. I found that strange, hard and wasn’t sure how to do it. I had gotten into the habit of trying to figure out how to handle life on my own. I learned early in life to trust my own instincts. Trusting others was difficult for me to do.
As the Executor of my mother’s will, I had to make some decisions. As the eldest child, I often was given the responsibility of making decisions. To be honest, I was unsure of myself. I am a people pleaser and when you are in charge – well, someone is always unhappy with your decisions. I am also an enabler and that is not good either. Many times I’d rather enable someone than help them help themselves. During the decisions I needed to make, Junior would advise me. I tended to not hear him. At one point he threw up his hands and told me not to come to him for answers. We talked to Ray about the situation. Ray guided me to listen to Junior, to trust that Junior had my best at heart. I did as Junior suggested and I found peace in my heart.
This situation taught me to look to Junior, to trust him. I am not as afraid to let Junior guide anymore. I am able to listen to Junior and down deep I know that I can trust him. Through prayer, Bible study I am able to listen to God as well. Does Junior make mistakes? Yes he does. Still I trust that he will seek my/our highest good.
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Genesis 3:16
And he said to the woman, “I will increase your trouble in pregnancy and your pain in giving birth. In spite of this, you will still have desire for your husband, yet you will be subject to him.
Ephesians 5:21-22
Submit yourselves to one another because of your reverence for Christ. Wives, submit yourselves to your husband’s as to the Lord. For a husband has authority over his wife just as Christ has authority over the church; and Christ is himself the Savior of the church, his body.
As the 10th anniversary of my mother’s death draws near, I find myself to be contemplative. There was a point where I realized I could not listen to her advice for my life. I remember being sad at that realization. Part of my reflection also takes me back to my counseling with Ray. Ray was like a father for me. I trusted him like I had never trusted a man, in my life. He had become like a Dad to me. I felt safe with Ray.
I started counseling with Ray prior to my first marriage breaking up. I stayed with him as I went through divorce and after I met Junior. Junior started attending my counseling sessions with me. He wanted to understand what I was struggling with.
One of the first things Ray had me do when Junior entered into counseling with me was to look to Junior for answerers to my struggles. I found that strange, hard and wasn’t sure how to do it. I had gotten into the habit of trying to figure out how to handle life on my own. I learned early in life to trust my own instincts. Trusting others was difficult for me to do.
As the Executor of my mother’s will, I had to make some decisions. As the eldest child, I often was given the responsibility of making decisions. To be honest, I was unsure of myself. I am a people pleaser and when you are in charge – well, someone is always unhappy with your decisions. I am also an enabler and that is not good either. Many times I’d rather enable someone than help them help themselves. During the decisions I needed to make, Junior would advise me. I tended to not hear him. At one point he threw up his hands and told me not to come to him for answers. We talked to Ray about the situation. Ray guided me to listen to Junior, to trust that Junior had my best at heart. I did as Junior suggested and I found peace in my heart.
This situation taught me to look to Junior, to trust him. I am not as afraid to let Junior guide anymore. I am able to listen to Junior and down deep I know that I can trust him. Through prayer, Bible study I am able to listen to God as well. Does Junior make mistakes? Yes he does. Still I trust that he will seek my/our highest good.
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Friday, February 20, 2009
February 21, 2009
Proverbs 14:21
If you want to be happy, be kind to the poor: it is a sin to despise anyone.
Greetings My Friend,
To me one of the best lessons I have learned is the lesson on giving. My nature tends to want to hold on to money. I grew up in a poor family and money was always tight. We lived off of Mom’s income which wasn’t much. When Dad was able to work again after polio, he earned very little. Money was a constant struggle as I grew up. We were given clothes from people from our church. We often got bulk cheese and powdered milk to help supplement our food. Grandma’s work in a kitchen at the hospital would send food home with her so we could eat. Because of generous people my family always had food to eat and I never missed a meal as I grew up.
As I found myself back in church when my children were little I found that giving was often a life line for me. I volunteered to be a youth advisor at my church. It was a job I loved and did for around 15 years. I loved those teens and they loved me. It was wonderful being loved. I did not feel loved as a child. I did not feel loved as a wife. With the teens though, I felt so loved And wanted. That was my first walk with giving. Giving to the teens was so good for me. They helped me to focus outside myself. That act of giving of my time was really the start of growing out of much depression.
When Junior and I started talking about getting married we talked about giving. It was important to both of us. I tended to give of my time. I had learned to look outside of myself and to reach out. In that I found a lot of healing. I still went through years and years of counseling, but the youth helped me to move through a lot of my emotional pain. Junior believed in tithing at least 10% of his income to the Lord. The tithing part was something I was working toward. When he told me that he wanted to tithe well, I thought that we should.
I am sooo very happy that we have kept the tithing we both brought to our marriage. Junior is willing to help others out. We have done missions trips. We have helped orphans in Nicagura. We have helped the poor in Tennessee by fixing their homes and we have helped people in Detroit as well. In addition we have helped a Missionary in France – a couple Junior has helped support for close to 20 years now. We give freely to our church as well. Tithing has blessed us so much. Tithing makes us aware of others that are in need. When we help others in need, we honor God. When we keep Jesus as our main focus, then we have peace in our life. Do we have hard days? Yes, by all means we do. Through all the trials that life brings our way though, we find a peace.
May I suggest that you begin a tithing journey? It could be as simple as helping out at a soup kitchen, donating to Salvation Army or helping in some sort of help organization. Giving of your money is also important. We are what we spend our money on, what does your money spending say about you?
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Proverbs 14:21
If you want to be happy, be kind to the poor: it is a sin to despise anyone.
Greetings My Friend,
To me one of the best lessons I have learned is the lesson on giving. My nature tends to want to hold on to money. I grew up in a poor family and money was always tight. We lived off of Mom’s income which wasn’t much. When Dad was able to work again after polio, he earned very little. Money was a constant struggle as I grew up. We were given clothes from people from our church. We often got bulk cheese and powdered milk to help supplement our food. Grandma’s work in a kitchen at the hospital would send food home with her so we could eat. Because of generous people my family always had food to eat and I never missed a meal as I grew up.
As I found myself back in church when my children were little I found that giving was often a life line for me. I volunteered to be a youth advisor at my church. It was a job I loved and did for around 15 years. I loved those teens and they loved me. It was wonderful being loved. I did not feel loved as a child. I did not feel loved as a wife. With the teens though, I felt so loved And wanted. That was my first walk with giving. Giving to the teens was so good for me. They helped me to focus outside myself. That act of giving of my time was really the start of growing out of much depression.
When Junior and I started talking about getting married we talked about giving. It was important to both of us. I tended to give of my time. I had learned to look outside of myself and to reach out. In that I found a lot of healing. I still went through years and years of counseling, but the youth helped me to move through a lot of my emotional pain. Junior believed in tithing at least 10% of his income to the Lord. The tithing part was something I was working toward. When he told me that he wanted to tithe well, I thought that we should.
I am sooo very happy that we have kept the tithing we both brought to our marriage. Junior is willing to help others out. We have done missions trips. We have helped orphans in Nicagura. We have helped the poor in Tennessee by fixing their homes and we have helped people in Detroit as well. In addition we have helped a Missionary in France – a couple Junior has helped support for close to 20 years now. We give freely to our church as well. Tithing has blessed us so much. Tithing makes us aware of others that are in need. When we help others in need, we honor God. When we keep Jesus as our main focus, then we have peace in our life. Do we have hard days? Yes, by all means we do. Through all the trials that life brings our way though, we find a peace.
May I suggest that you begin a tithing journey? It could be as simple as helping out at a soup kitchen, donating to Salvation Army or helping in some sort of help organization. Giving of your money is also important. We are what we spend our money on, what does your money spending say about you?
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Friday, February 13, 2009
February 14, 2009
Song of Songs 2:16
My lover is mine, and I am his.
Greetings My Friend,
Today is Valentine’s Day – a day of romance. To be honest I thought I was not a very romantic woman. I thought Junior and I were not very romantic in nature. We love to go on Marriage Retreats. These retreats have taught us a lot about being married. We usually get a packet with suggestions for romantic activities to indulge in during the retreat. We will have free time during the weekend to be alone and try out some of the suggestions.
Some of the suggestions made me think I was not a romantic person. There was the letting the man comb the woman’s hair – Yuck! How about a picnic on the hotel room floor – Yew! There was the suggestion for a bubble bath together – No Thanks! How about a foot massage! Not for me! Still the seminars were always great. We learned so much and it was worth going.
As the years have passed, I have found that Junior and I do have a romance between us. It is not a Hallmark romance. We aren’t fond of fancy restaurants. I have found that we do have our special moments though. When we were dating Junior told me he loved a woman in flannel pajamas. Not bad… I could deal with that. I found that Junior loves to see me in my tee shirt and underpants as well. That’s me and he likes it. Yeah!
We love to shop. I have so much fun shopping with him. He loves to go to the discount rack and search through each item, looking for that “find.” I fell in love with that right off the bat. Many Friday nights when we worked, we went grocery shopping. It was a date for us - we had fun – we sometimes kissed in the aisle when the aisle was empty. That was so much fun to me. In my first marriage Home Depot was a night mare. I found that with Junior it was actually fun. I remember walking up on him one time. He had a power tool in his hand and he was making the sound of the power tool. I found that because he was willing to do “girl” shopping, I didn’t mind doing “guy” shopping. It was fun.
We were talking to our nutritionist recently about dating. I stated that if a guy is willing to do a “girl” type of romantic activity, then the girl should also be willing to a “guy” type of romantic activity. It might mean that they go out to a nice restaurant for her and for him, they go shooting. I am starting to see that what I find romantic does not mean it is for Junior.
I find that guys love to do guy things. When we were dating our men, many of us were
willing to do that with them. Guys seem to like us being near them and then when we marry them, we decide we don’t want to do that anymore.
Maybe as you do something for Valentine’s Day, you might want to surprise your guy and do his manly thing he loves, like going to the gun range, bowling, fixing on an antique car.
I also would like to suggest that you do frequent date nights with your husband. It is important for your marriage to stay in tune with each other. Again, date night does not have to be expensive. When we were working and tired sometimes our date night was to watch a video. Sometimes we find old furniture and refurbish it. Take time to be alone with each other, to talk about your dreams. When you do that, you are truly keeping your marriage alive.
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Song of Songs 2:16
My lover is mine, and I am his.
Greetings My Friend,
Today is Valentine’s Day – a day of romance. To be honest I thought I was not a very romantic woman. I thought Junior and I were not very romantic in nature. We love to go on Marriage Retreats. These retreats have taught us a lot about being married. We usually get a packet with suggestions for romantic activities to indulge in during the retreat. We will have free time during the weekend to be alone and try out some of the suggestions.
Some of the suggestions made me think I was not a romantic person. There was the letting the man comb the woman’s hair – Yuck! How about a picnic on the hotel room floor – Yew! There was the suggestion for a bubble bath together – No Thanks! How about a foot massage! Not for me! Still the seminars were always great. We learned so much and it was worth going.
As the years have passed, I have found that Junior and I do have a romance between us. It is not a Hallmark romance. We aren’t fond of fancy restaurants. I have found that we do have our special moments though. When we were dating Junior told me he loved a woman in flannel pajamas. Not bad… I could deal with that. I found that Junior loves to see me in my tee shirt and underpants as well. That’s me and he likes it. Yeah!
We love to shop. I have so much fun shopping with him. He loves to go to the discount rack and search through each item, looking for that “find.” I fell in love with that right off the bat. Many Friday nights when we worked, we went grocery shopping. It was a date for us - we had fun – we sometimes kissed in the aisle when the aisle was empty. That was so much fun to me. In my first marriage Home Depot was a night mare. I found that with Junior it was actually fun. I remember walking up on him one time. He had a power tool in his hand and he was making the sound of the power tool. I found that because he was willing to do “girl” shopping, I didn’t mind doing “guy” shopping. It was fun.
We were talking to our nutritionist recently about dating. I stated that if a guy is willing to do a “girl” type of romantic activity, then the girl should also be willing to a “guy” type of romantic activity. It might mean that they go out to a nice restaurant for her and for him, they go shooting. I am starting to see that what I find romantic does not mean it is for Junior.
I find that guys love to do guy things. When we were dating our men, many of us were
willing to do that with them. Guys seem to like us being near them and then when we marry them, we decide we don’t want to do that anymore.
Maybe as you do something for Valentine’s Day, you might want to surprise your guy and do his manly thing he loves, like going to the gun range, bowling, fixing on an antique car.
I also would like to suggest that you do frequent date nights with your husband. It is important for your marriage to stay in tune with each other. Again, date night does not have to be expensive. When we were working and tired sometimes our date night was to watch a video. Sometimes we find old furniture and refurbish it. Take time to be alone with each other, to talk about your dreams. When you do that, you are truly keeping your marriage alive.
May God bless you and keep you, make His face to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Friday, January 2, 2009
January 3, 2008
Titus 2:3-5
In the same way instruct the older women to behave as women should who live a holy life. They must not be slanderers or slaves to wine. They must teach what is good, in order to train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, and to be good housewives who submit themselves to their husbands, so that no one will speak evil of the message that comes from God.
Proverbs 22:6
Teach a child how he should live, and he will remember it all his life.
Greetings My Friend,
Today would be my Grandmother’s 102nd birthday. It is hard for me to realize that I would know someone that could be that old. Grandma was a special lady in my life – often a life line when life was so out of control.
Grandma was a young widow raising my Uncle when Dad came down with polio. She scrounged up money from family and friends and gave it to Mom telling her to come back to Michigan as soon as Dad was able to travel. His parents had walked out on us when Mom would not transfer him to a Veterans Administration hospital. The doctor did not recommend the move because the move could have killed Dad.
Grandma had lots of spunk – even though life was tough. When she was seven years old, her mother died giving birth to her youngest sister. My great grandfather raised the older four children and adopted out the baby. Since her dad had to work, he tried to hire women to come in and take care of the kids. They were rebellious and often ran off the women. Great Grandpa soon gave up on having the women come in. The children were left to their own devices as Grandpa worked.
My Dad’s mother was 14 when she married my Dad’s father. He was a much older man. Grandma was the youngest of many children – 14, I think. Her father had died and her mother took in borders in order to have money come into their home. Grandma was taking up valuable space that could have been used to rent out a bed. Grandpa felt sorry for her and married her.
He was a cruel man. He beat his wife and children. One time he stabbed my Uncle with a pitch fork in a fit of anger. My father left home at 14 and lived in neighborhood garages. The owners would let him work for them and they fed Dad. At 17 Dad was a drop out from high school. He joined the service – his parents signed for him to do so.
Mom finished high school. Dad did not. Mom was her own woman early on in life. She was an outgoing child. She picked Dad up hitchhiking – he was stationed in Dearborn and Mom thought a man in a uniform was great.
Mom came along after her parents were married for seven years. They were thrilled to have a child and she was spoiled. Grandma couldn’t seem to get Mom to do her own chores. A neighborhood boy would be conned into doing her chores so she could go out and play. She left the boy doing what she should have been doing.
Neither parent seemed to know the roles of men and women. Dad’s anger was ever constant – he learned it at home. After polio he had more anger – he couldn’t support his family and had to rely on Mom to support us. That is hard for a man to do.
We were raised with so much anger. There wasn’t a lot of time to teach us life’s lessons. The main goal was to put food on the table and keep a roof over our heads. Mom’s wages were very minimal. At that time women didn’t earn much. The job market was for men to earn the main income. When Dad was able to walk again, he took a job in a motel being the night clerk.
My family’s dysfunctions taught me many lessons. I am able to roll with the punches for the most part. I did wind up in a very dysfunctional first marriage. We fought all the time. That was hard on our children. Whether we realize it or not, we pass on what we know to our children. I wish I had understood Jesus, reading the Bible and having a strong faith when raising my children. I am wishing I had understood Jesus being a part of my life early on. I believed in Jesus, but I did not understand the power of prayer, of His healing presence and the power of reading the Bible to give me guidance.
We pass on what we know. Prayer, Bible reading, a strong faith would have helped me to leave my dysfunction behind, something I learned late in life. Anyway you look at it we pass on what we know – good or bad. My goal when I was raising my children was to stop the physical violence that had been part of my family for three generations or more. It was part of my Dad’s upbringing, my upbringing and my children’s. As far as I can tell, there is no physical violence in either of my children’s lives. We may not be best of friends – something that grieves me – the thought that violence for violence sake has finally left the family blood line that comforts me. Now it is my children’s job to go on from here.
I pray that you pray for your spouse, for your children, your parents, for anybody you know. Prayer has helped me so much. Learning to see God’s hand on me has been so comforting. I pray that you start a daily time to read your Bible – I was shocked when I read it through the first time. I now ask God to open my heart to hear His direction for my life. If you allow God to direct you, He will. You have to be open to listening with your heart and he will speak to you.
May God bless you and keep you, make his fact to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
Titus 2:3-5
In the same way instruct the older women to behave as women should who live a holy life. They must not be slanderers or slaves to wine. They must teach what is good, in order to train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, and to be good housewives who submit themselves to their husbands, so that no one will speak evil of the message that comes from God.
Proverbs 22:6
Teach a child how he should live, and he will remember it all his life.
Greetings My Friend,
Today would be my Grandmother’s 102nd birthday. It is hard for me to realize that I would know someone that could be that old. Grandma was a special lady in my life – often a life line when life was so out of control.
Grandma was a young widow raising my Uncle when Dad came down with polio. She scrounged up money from family and friends and gave it to Mom telling her to come back to Michigan as soon as Dad was able to travel. His parents had walked out on us when Mom would not transfer him to a Veterans Administration hospital. The doctor did not recommend the move because the move could have killed Dad.
Grandma had lots of spunk – even though life was tough. When she was seven years old, her mother died giving birth to her youngest sister. My great grandfather raised the older four children and adopted out the baby. Since her dad had to work, he tried to hire women to come in and take care of the kids. They were rebellious and often ran off the women. Great Grandpa soon gave up on having the women come in. The children were left to their own devices as Grandpa worked.
My Dad’s mother was 14 when she married my Dad’s father. He was a much older man. Grandma was the youngest of many children – 14, I think. Her father had died and her mother took in borders in order to have money come into their home. Grandma was taking up valuable space that could have been used to rent out a bed. Grandpa felt sorry for her and married her.
He was a cruel man. He beat his wife and children. One time he stabbed my Uncle with a pitch fork in a fit of anger. My father left home at 14 and lived in neighborhood garages. The owners would let him work for them and they fed Dad. At 17 Dad was a drop out from high school. He joined the service – his parents signed for him to do so.
Mom finished high school. Dad did not. Mom was her own woman early on in life. She was an outgoing child. She picked Dad up hitchhiking – he was stationed in Dearborn and Mom thought a man in a uniform was great.
Mom came along after her parents were married for seven years. They were thrilled to have a child and she was spoiled. Grandma couldn’t seem to get Mom to do her own chores. A neighborhood boy would be conned into doing her chores so she could go out and play. She left the boy doing what she should have been doing.
Neither parent seemed to know the roles of men and women. Dad’s anger was ever constant – he learned it at home. After polio he had more anger – he couldn’t support his family and had to rely on Mom to support us. That is hard for a man to do.
We were raised with so much anger. There wasn’t a lot of time to teach us life’s lessons. The main goal was to put food on the table and keep a roof over our heads. Mom’s wages were very minimal. At that time women didn’t earn much. The job market was for men to earn the main income. When Dad was able to walk again, he took a job in a motel being the night clerk.
My family’s dysfunctions taught me many lessons. I am able to roll with the punches for the most part. I did wind up in a very dysfunctional first marriage. We fought all the time. That was hard on our children. Whether we realize it or not, we pass on what we know to our children. I wish I had understood Jesus, reading the Bible and having a strong faith when raising my children. I am wishing I had understood Jesus being a part of my life early on. I believed in Jesus, but I did not understand the power of prayer, of His healing presence and the power of reading the Bible to give me guidance.
We pass on what we know. Prayer, Bible reading, a strong faith would have helped me to leave my dysfunction behind, something I learned late in life. Anyway you look at it we pass on what we know – good or bad. My goal when I was raising my children was to stop the physical violence that had been part of my family for three generations or more. It was part of my Dad’s upbringing, my upbringing and my children’s. As far as I can tell, there is no physical violence in either of my children’s lives. We may not be best of friends – something that grieves me – the thought that violence for violence sake has finally left the family blood line that comforts me. Now it is my children’s job to go on from here.
I pray that you pray for your spouse, for your children, your parents, for anybody you know. Prayer has helped me so much. Learning to see God’s hand on me has been so comforting. I pray that you start a daily time to read your Bible – I was shocked when I read it through the first time. I now ask God to open my heart to hear His direction for my life. If you allow God to direct you, He will. You have to be open to listening with your heart and he will speak to you.
May God bless you and keep you, make his fact to shine upon you.
Love
Janet
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