September 29, 2016

Greetings My Friend, What is done in the darkness will be brought out into the light. I have noticed that those secret sins most of us have usually will be found out sometime or other. It is a matter of time. Some people hide their secrete sins for years but eventually those sins are found out and brought out before the world to see and know. One of the most known secrete sins in the Bible is of David and Bathsheeba. David sees her bathing out on a roof top, desires her and has her brought to him. She becomes pregnant informs David so he has her husband Uriah killed and then marries Bathsheeba. God sent the prophet Nathan to let David know that this sin was not hidden from Him. David repents so he will live but David's sin means he will be publicly humiliated publicly. I see that one of David's sons tries to take the kingdom, sleeps with all of David's wives and concubines in a tent on a roof right in the open. David and Bathsheeba repent with a genuine heart and later we see that Bathsheeba has another son and he becomes the King after David. That is so encouraging to me, David and Bathsheeba repent and then they go on to have a son on the throne. That is another thing I am learning to. Solomon was down fairly far in the lineage of David's sons but he became a king. In those days the eldest son inherited the most above all the other brothers. Back in Isaac's days God blessed Isaac's younger son,Jacob and then Jacob blessed Joseph's younger son. Throughout the Bible I see that the people who were the least were often given great jobs to do. God looks at the heart not the outward appearances while we see the outward appearances of a person and make decisions based on that. The heart is where the true person is found. As I think on this I see that we either light our heart with integrity or with the secrete sins we choose. I learn that we are known by our fruit are we bearing good fruit or bad fruit in our lives. If we are bearing good fruit we will be kind, patient, caring, hard working etc. If we are bearing bad fruit then we bear things like lying, stealing, etc. I prefer choosing to live in the light as much as I am aware and able. Today I understand the light much better because the Bible and the Holy Spirit are teaching to live in the light. Sometimes I do not realize I am in sin but when I am convicted about it I ask God to teach me to walk away from that sin. I also ask God to show me the sin I have in my life and then to teach me to walk away from that sin. I find a lot of freedom when I am not entrenched in sin like I was at one time in my life. When I discover that I am sinning these days I am grateful because I feel free to repent and then I am taught to walk away from the sin. When the sin is being cleansed from me I also am learning that God does not want me to beat myself up over it but to live in freedom of it. Living in the light is not a one time effort but a day to day growing and learning in the Lord and I am grateful that Jesus gave His life so I can draw closer to God. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet

September 27, 2016

Greetings My Friend, I recall as a parent attempting to show my children something telling them the outcome of a situation only to have them turn deaf ears to what I was attempting to teach them. One day they walked in the door all excited telling me what I had been trying to tell them for weeks. It is aggravating to say the least. At times I see God teaching and telling us that what we are doing is wrong and showing us a way that works much better only to be surprised when the warnings turn into reality. A while ago I was attempting to guide my son after a divorce and him telling me that he tends to learn the lessons the hard way before he learns the lesson. I was attempting to impart lessons that I learned after a divorce when I attended a Divorce Recovery group I attended and then the Singles program I became involved in. A few years later I see the deep struggle my son is in and I feel for him but I also know he chose this path. We as a nation have thumbed our nose at God for quite sometime now and God has had people warning America. We as a nation are not listening and I sense that we are near the day of correction. It will not be fun or pretty when God finally brings forth the correction we deserve. As I read the Bible I see God warning Israel and finally the day comes where He unleashes His wrath on the nation because they would not listen. We tell ourselves that God would not want...us to deal with an untimely pregnancy so the baby is aborted. The Bible teaches that God is a God of life not death. God is upset with child scracrfices, Jesus teaches us to teach the children and the list goes on showing me that God is a God of life. God says He finds adultery, homosexuality, lying and cheating to be offensive and we excuse our behavior. God loves all of us and He teaches us what He wants in our lives. He shows us as loving as He is He will not tolerate sinning because we can justify it. We are long due for a day of correction and I know it will happen when we least expect it. And still people are not listening. God warns the believers and they begin to prepare for the day of wrath. God warns us because He loves us and if we listen and repent from the depths of our heart God will lessen the severity of wrath and if we do not listen...then the wrath will come. For me I am taking God at His Word and I am attempting to walk away from sin with God's awesome helping hand. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Jane

September 24, 2016

Greetings My Friend, I am a person who loves to work from a check list. The list helps me to focus on the jobs I want to get done and I find I do not veer from it like I would if I had no list. Sometimes I take my list making into my faith walk and as I check off each act of kindness, witnessing or giving and serving I feel good about myself. At the end of the day though it is not how many items I checked off it is serving, giving from my heart and then giving God the recognition that truly matters. The thing God wants from me the most is not all the things I do that look good and right it is the times I entered into service for God with all of my heart, mind and soul. God wants my walk to be good in His sight not man's sight and the lesson I keep getting is God wants my heart and then He will be the happiest. If I think on this some I see that all the gifts of money and service mean nothing to God because He is the owner of all things. What makes Him happiest is to love God and do for God because I want to. I found this lesson in Ezekiel this morning "The one who offers thanksgiving as his sacrifice glorifies me; to one who orders his way rightly I will show the salvation of God." I hear God saying that He wants me to do things to please God and not to look good. I try to ask myself "Do I walk with God Monday through Saturday like I do on Sunday?" I often hear the thought where Sunday Christians leave all of their faith right there in church during the week and walk in the flesh seeking their unGodly passions and desires. These Christians then pick up their faith again the next Sunday at church and proceed to leave their faith there again after church. As I ponder this thought I find myself asking do I do this? I pray I do not and I strive to meet God each day during the week, to sit at His feet and then to go and do. I am learning that going and doing sometimes is working in the home keeping it comfortable for my family and enjoying the fruits of my labor of love. Sometimes I struggle with my disability walking without going in odd directions, tiring because my gait is off and relearning things I have not done in years. I can feel like I am not making any headway as I need to sleep a lot and I wonder how in the world am I able to be serving God. As I fuss at myself I sense the Holy Spirit reminding me that the way I deal with my struggle is a way to honor God. I could be angry or feel so helpless and useless or I can be thankful that I am able to do what I am doing. My attitude about being a housewife, a disabled woman are ways to honor God. I feel deep inside of me that I am able to deal with the mundane job of cleaning and cooking is honoring to God or giving myself grace when I tire easily due my gait issues wearing me out. The Holy Spirit reminds me frequently that how I conduct myself either at home or out in the world does way more than all of the words I can say. Once in a while I mention that I struggle with things in life and when I do I connect with someone who needs to tell their story and they feel safe to share with me. At times it is not easy to stop to hear a story when I am out and about trying to accomplish the task at hand. It is at that moment The Holy Spirit quiets me to listen to this person who needs comfort. If I listen and stop to share time with a person in need I find that my task was not that important to get finished. My last thought is I need to listen to that small still voice and do what I am instructed to do and is heavy on my heart. When I am able to let go I find I am grateful to be of service to a person in need. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet

September 22, 2016

Greetings My Friend, Lately I have seen pictures of some of our political leaders homes. These people live very lavish lifestyles in lavish homes. They have gotten rich on the back of the American people and today I read in the Bible about the people of Israel's lavish times. God spoke to them saying " They cast their silver into the streets, and their gold is like an unclean thing. Their silver and gold are not able to deliver them in the day of the wrath of the Lord. They cannot satisfy their hunger or fill their stomachs with it. For it was the stumbling block of their iniguity." I sensed the Holy Spirit telling me that I need to trust God not my money and to look and see the provisions that are all around me in His creation. This lesson is one I am learning to see more often. As I learn to put food up for the winter, learn to live more simply I find I am more content than when I was trying to live the American dream by having a nice home, a nice car and nice clothing. Just as I learned to eat whole foods instead of processed foods I am finding that the addiction processed foods had on me and my body was unhealthy so too I find the need to keep getting bigger and better things. When I am chasing after the wind I do not see the plenty that I truly have. The Apostle Paul teaches us to be content in all things, I am learning this lesson as well. The best way to live life is in the Lord the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. God teaches us that He is what we need and only in Him will we find satisfaction. The more I seek to live a simple life the more I am content with less. I find that I am happier putting up food for our needs, sewing more of our needs like quilts, simple dress' and even making cloths to use for wiping up spills instead of using paper towels for everything. We are learning to grow food and have done minimally well which means we buy a lot from the grocery store or produce stands still. The more we finish the house the more our focus is turning to gardening, for now though we attempt to only eat and put up whole food. Our government utilities have shown us to rely more on our own resources of late with the water systems failing and power outages that have lasted longer than in the past. We use propane and a wood-coal stove to heat our house and cook our food. We have a generator for electrical needs and we have a well for our water needs. In this God has led us to these resources and to Him for our needs. With food put up for the winter and a heat source we are in a good place over all. Today we are less connected with each other than the pilgrims or the people moving towards the west. People were able to rely on each other and came together to build homes, barns and to socialize making quilts. The interaction was genuine not phony like I see today. I pray for our nation as we enter into this election year I sense our choice of leadership will dictate the type of life that will strengthen us or break us. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet

September 20, 2016

Greetings My Friend, This morning was a hard morning for me to focus. I was in a brain fog and found my thoughts going easily off in many directions, add to that the fur children were not helping me with my focus. Daisy decided she needed an extra treat and when that was not forth coming she then decided she needed me to let her out the front door. I scooped her up and took her to the gate to let her wander around the front yard. I heard the bing on my phone that I received a text message and I am too curious to let it go. I want to see who is contacting me and then engage in conversation. When I came back to my intended goal of morning quiet time I started my time with God in the journal I keep. I wrote about my lack of focus and when I went to the part where I talk to God I mentioned my struggle. I went to prayer asking God to help me with my focus so that I would hear His message and His voice. At this point I began my study time. I read Luke 10:25-42 part of which is the story about the sisters Martha and Mary. Jesus had come to their house and Mary sat listening to Jesus teach. Martha was busy with serving and became upset that Mary was listening to Jesus. Finally Martha asked Jesus for some help and I marveled at Jesus' reply "But Martha was distracted with much serving....But the Lord answered her, 'Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about may things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken from her." Imagine my surprise when I read this. I had allowed myself to be distracted with a text and the need to respond right away, with Daisy fussing with me and feeling interrupted and not fully desiring to get into the Word. I was allowing distractions some of which could have waited until I had my quiet time so I could wake up with God and find the focus I was seeking, His desire for me. After reading the daily reading I ask the Holy Spirit what He is teaching me and He responded "Do not be so quick to respond to others. Stay on the task with your quiet time." For me this time is like feeding my body only it is feeding my soul. I need it like the air I breathe, my morning cup of tea. When I allow myself to get involved with other things I feel unbalanced. I did need to help Daisy get outside, she struggles to walk and my assist saves her a lot of walking. I did not need to look to see who texted me or respond until I had finished my study time. My first cup of tea helps me wake up and I drink that with my medications I take when I get up. If I had taken my medications, drank my tea and went to Bible study as I usually do the focus would have come. I marvel at the lessons, the correcting that God gives and I am thankful. I imagine that if I get interrupted again with a text I may wait. I am thankful for the lesson. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet

September 17, 2016

Greetings My Friend The minister admonished us to go to someone who you have not talked to in a long time and open the door to forgiving. My mind started to whirl and I wondered did I do enough to ask for forgiveness? I hang out in my thoughts for quite a bit while the minister speaks reflecting on the hurt I feel the times I asked to be forgiven asked to be understood and slowly it comes to me that I have done what I can do. I start to accept that sometimes we ask for forgiveness and the other person does not like the way you asked to be forgiven. I accept that I asked to be forgiven with a genuine heart, I remember talking to God seeking guidance and even talking to clergy and a counselor. I realize that just as in a relationship the forgiving process is 2 sided. There are 2 people involved and both have to want to work at a relationship and 2 have to work at forgiving. I have begun to see that I am responsible for my part of what transpired and the other person has responsibility too. I have done my part and now I need to let go. I have learned the hard way people get irritated with too many apologies and sometimes you need to move on. I never dreamed this problem would last more than 10 years. Recently I have thought about being with toxic people even if they are family is not a good thing. I try to think that I am not a toxic person but that may be more about how the other people perceive you. I know I have been dysfunctional in a big way. I also know that I have worked hard with God and counseling to overcome those dysfunctional ways. At this point I feel that I am not toxic, again this is my own thought. I can not be responsible for what others think. I do know that the pain that has been inside of me for such a long time is not as intense these days. I have done what I can and it is time I live my life. I am open to keeping the door opened and if the other person ever wants to open their door I am willing to meet them half way. On the way to this day I have developed interests, a fur family and some good friends. It is the only option I have since living in a holding pattern is not living. Through out the years I review this relationship snafu with God frequently and if I believe God then He has forgiven me because I have worked on the forgiving process with Him. I not only forgave the other person but I have learned to forgive myself. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet

September 15, 2016

Greetings My Friend I just finished looking at the bills, made a bill pay change and transferred money all on my own. I feel a routine starting and a handle on the money we have in our lives. I was not sure I wanted to go back to this but today I feel the old familiar comfort of being in control again. I am grateful for the years Junior did the bills, he has taught me to relax and even a few ways to pay bills better. I am grateful to be behind the wheel once more though. When I was growing up Mom let Dad pay the bills so he felt a sense of being needed after he had polio. When Dad died Mom took over and she managed to live within her income fairly well. The strange thing is Mom had a degree in accounting and ran the accounting area of a nursing home. Dad paid bills and was not as on top of their finances as Mom was. She said what I am thinking about Junior, if it were her she would never have gotten what Dad got us, like a home on her income, paying for her to go to college so they had a better life etc. On the other hand my mother in law never paid bills the whole time her husband was alive. When he died she could not get it as hard as her one son tried to teach her. I believe he wound up paying her bills until she died. I think I would have been happy not paying bills until I was forced to do so. Junior seemed to see that I needed to relearn how to once more make a budget and work with it. Junior has a spending problem and he needed to face that demon. I am thankful that Junior understands his struggle now because he will not feel like I am being a tightwad for the sake of it like he did when I did the bills before. We also learned through our re-married ministry that it is important for each of us to have money to blow. He gave us between 10 - 20 dollars a week. This is the money where no accountability is necessary. We also have a limit that we set if we spend beyond a certain amount we need to talk about the purchase. For now anyway Junior handed me all his cards including his debit card. I accepted them and I do not know how long I will keep his debit card, maybe until he wants it back, I am not sure. The nice thing about having a quiet rest time because it works out for me to look at the checking account and bills. God is wonderful and He will guide me in this endeavor as He has in everything else in my life. I will not panic as I once did. I have learned that God will always give me what I need so I will not be in want for basic things in life. May God bless you and keep you make His face shine on you. Love Janet